AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Welcome, you are a S.A.S. special agent, or a 'Seal' as most say. Your specialties are making shit blow up and killing infantry, you are one of the best, top of your class, competency unbeatable... You get the point.



This is your current base of operations, on the shore of the North pole, the highlighted unit is you.

Your current objectives are to...


Capture this airfield for Paratroop support, because paratroopers are expendable, as well as a tactile importance, but mostly expandable.



Capture these Oil Feilds, because your commander loves to sap as much cash as he can out of a mission. He's a douche this way.

And of course...


Blow up these Russians, because they're Russians and you blow shit up all daisies day, do the math.

But first, for reasons of security, your codename is changed every third week, what is your codename?

If you try to capture those oil fields with a SEAL, you will be quite disappointed

Everyone knows that a SEAL can't possibly change the color scheme of a building, which is why you are put in charge of an Engineer.



These guys are extremely whiny and prolonged exposure to their conversation increases your urge to blow their big brains out.

But there are more important matters at hand, such as a name...

Nipples or Cockbag McShitDick.

Unfortunetly. These names have been banned from the system after the defection of CPT Nipples and SGM McShitDick

Shame, they were cool names too.

Egotistical Asshat

Wilfred Walker

Bob Barker

Aaron


That's all I've got.

And I threw in Bob Barker for giggles.

Douchebag O'Fuckshit

These are the only two names not taken...

You decide to take the second option, CPT Walker sounds better that CPT Asshat.

You take the Engineer to the lovely little airfield and make him paint it a lovely Cyan to shut him up.



Lovely, you now get some paratroopers once in a while.

Now what?

NUKE FUCKING EVERYTHING


Or strut about the camp like a pimp

As much as you like this idea, your commander interjects.

We don't have any nukes, now quit fucking around and get me more cheddar.



He shoves three Engineers and a MCV into your face and tells you to go build a resource point on the center island before the commies can.

You hate that guy sometimes.

>go build a resource point on the center island

You were totally going to do that anyway, like totally. Sha.

But first you take your anger out on a bridge.



Oddly satisfying.

-A few minutes later-



Hot daisies we Brits work fast!