AWKWARD ZOMBIE

From my Chemistry class textbook:



I have given up all hope for humanity. Some guy wants to make silk fabrics for a ton of cheddar, but he's afraid of spiders. Oh no!

But wait, we have SCIENCE. How about we make some genetic halfbreed spidergoats that will LACTATE SILK.

Doesn't that sound painful or something? Are they feeding silk to their babies? This is disgusting!

It's just a spider, goddamnit. Wear some gloves. Don't pollute a goat's carefully constructed genetic makeup to avoid getting bitten, you pansy.

I'm pretty sure nobody proofread my Forensics textbook. At one point it says something to the effect of "Crime scene investigation is hard work. If you ever see a forensics examiner doing field work, bring him some sandwiches."

On a slightly more related note, I hear they're cloning glow-in-the-dark cats in South Korea for some reason.

As if that weren't bad enough, they're making those three cats live in one small cage.

Ugh. I just read about that too. Pisses me off.

Don't fuck with nature.

Horrible mental image of a goat with eight legs and multiple eyes...

This is stupid. You're afraid of tiny spiders, so instead you decide to fuck with goats, medium-sized animals, which can do a lot more damage and aren't as easy to take down. You can't swat a goat.

Unless the goat is spider-sized, and not the other way around

Hey guys, instead of funding medical science to find more cures for things, lets go and bioengineer some dogs that fart fabreeze and piss beer.

Am I the only one who took this to mean that the spiders will defend their territory against other spiders, therefore continuously reducing the spider population, making such a farm fail, and that it has absolutely nothing to do with arachnophobia?

Also, glow in the dark cats = cool, but that's totally the scientist in me talking. My human side often overrides the mad scientist.

"Cure cancer? Naw, let's just make glowing cats!"
...That's something along the lines of one of those comments, and I think it sums it all up.





My science textbook has a unit on forensics, and I've already read it (because I'm a loser with no life and I love forensics stuff, the only problem is I already knew all of that stuff so I didn't actually learn anything), and at a few points in the chapter it plugs apple computers.

I've already given up on most types of science. Mainly because they're starting to teach a dodgy theory called evolution in schools lately.
And no, I will not start a debate on evolution. Keep away from that subject whilst we're on the internet.

Actually, I didn't notice that till you pointed it out.

But then again, it all depends on how close they keep the spiders together. If they put each one in it's own little area, wouldn't that be fine? It'd take up more room, but they'd still be able to harvest it. I don't know anything about 'spider farming' though, and I don't intend to find out. ._.

That's what I thought, too....
I think I read about this randomly on Wiki one day. They were experimenting with using spider silk to make a new Kevlar or something.

Shall I cut off your thumbs, sir?

Today I found a chapter in my History textbook in which there was a diagram which explains how a bill becomes a law (in leiu of School House Rock), and in a caption at the bottom, it says,



Gee, thanks for the heads up.

I've got the stupidest of all stupid notes;

Last year in my Foods class, we actually got this note:

"Keep hot foods HOT and cold foods COLD."

Apparently our teacher thought we were R-TARD'D DURR HURRRR.