AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Here's one: When at a high school, never, ever, EVER accept pesto pizza.

Today after PE, we were in the locker room, and this kid next to me, a total stoner was talking to someone and their conversation turned to a ziplock bag of pizzas sitting on the bench.

"Oh yeah, those are mine."
"What's on them?"
"It's pesto. They're pesto pizzas. Go ahead, take one."

I, being hungry and kind of behind on the times, take one and give it looking over. It was a regular pizza, with a few splotches of green every so often. Haha, if you know how this is going to end, you're probably thinking I'm a complete idiot right now.



I had already taken a bite when someone else told me it was covered in weed. o.<



Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

One bite probably wasn't enough to really have any affect on your average male, 6'5".

But goddamnit. I've been had. I mean, this kid was once taking hits from a pipe in the locker room. What the HELL was I thinking?

Fuck.
Fuck fuck.
Fuck fuck etcetera.

I.. I would've fallen for it too. The first thing I thought of when you said that was "Oooh, pesto pizza! That sounds delicious!" I didn't even suspect it being weed till I read that it was weed. :C Dumb StarSeed is dumb.

I am in a Visual Basic programming class in my school, and having finished the entire lesson book within three weeks, my next task was to begin building games. I made a random coin toss thing, Rock Paper Scissors, and now I am working on Tic-Tac-Toe. Being the overachiever that I am, I decided to make literal Tic-Tac-Toe, using ticks and tacks as the X's and O's, and then a Toe on the winners side. I found a tick and a tack through Google's image search, and then came time to get the image of a toe.

Never, ever, ever type "toe" in a Google image search at school.

The page, even when filtered through both Google's filter thing and my school's Surf Control thing, was filled with images of camel toes. Thank you, Internet. The one time I'm not looking for porn, and you throw it at me at school.

Damnit Varn you just made me look it up.

Everytime you mention your Visual Basic class, I feel so jealous. Stop it.

Don't feel jealous, Visual Basic is the tool of the devil! It's made thousands upon thousands of coders across the world weep...

Nice o_0;;

Seriously, though, I'd fall for that as well... Although I wouldn't take a bite, because I don't really like pesto much.

...I probably would've recognised the weed, though.

.....

Eh... Yeah.

Another life lesson? Never, ever buy chairs via eBay. They may send you a bobcat.

Its always the one in the black hat too.

Never put a pencil with its tip facing up in your pocket, then crouch down.

Evur.

EVUR.

I've done that before, too, haha.

Ok...That, has too be the weirdest "after gym" experiance I've ever heard of. The one my gym class uses always smells like perfume.

Also, Here is something to keep in mind.

Never let your friends borrow your stuff, unless you know, they'll give it back.

Life Lessons are stupid because they never ARE for life. When we're old farts, we forget them again.

One of my friends, Lane, told me back in 4th grade that day that he had stuck a pencil in his pocket during lunch and he had been running during recess and it stabbed him really hard. Why didn't I LISTEN!?

We were stupid kids back then. Now we're stupid... older kids. Yeah. 8D

Also, NEVER play TP before bed. You might go to sleep while hearing the clinking of a Poe's lantern. I did last night.

Never watch the whole season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and then go to bed.

You hear "Mi-mi-miracle mi-miracle run!" in your sleep and replay the Hare Hare Yukai over and over again.
Not fun.

never say a character in a fighting game is bad, within a week you will meet someone who will kick your booty with said character (not important)

do not worry, for if you worry about something, it will happen

despite what is said, the third time is NOT the charm

and never ever ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER climb on top of the roof say 'look at what I can do' then jump off

Don't google image search the word "toe".