AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Yes, fellow Awkward Zombies! You read right. I'm doing this crap again!

Bring forth your questions about life's mysteries, the universe's secrets, and how one can start a lawnmover with a single mighty pull of it's cord and I will reply with answers, remarks, and a delightful scent of cranberries. Also, tune in every Friday for one or more answer segments in the ever titillating moving picture format, also known as VIDEO! (Note: Date subject to change due to unplanned events, storm based dilemmas, or my own laziness.)

So glad my thread died and was locked. TRUST ME, it gets painful after a while.


How long do you think you can keep this up?

mr alexandy sir
where do babies come from

Welp. We've passed the five minute mark, so I'll give it a couple of weeks. Tops.



That, my young Potato, is a wonderful tale of what happens when a young man realizes that he loves the woman he's been with for some time and decides that the time is right. It is a tale of hearts, rainbows, sweat, tears, and blood. To put it simply, my naive Potato...

Go ask your mother.

THis is how it would have gone if this were Betrippin's thread.

4 hours, if he has the pill.

Now for a real question.

Ketchup or Mustard?

Uh oh.

Uh, question... hmmm...

What can a blind man see?

How many fingers am I holding up?

when were you last even on here

Oh, please, [CN]. You of all people should know that I am much too high-brow for such humor and activities.


Unlike your mother.



Ketchup, all the way. In fact, I put ketchup on darn near everything!

Have you ever put ketchup on popcorn? I have.
It was terrible and it left me with painful gastric disturbances for the rest of the day.
Never put ketchup on popcorn.
Ever.



The same thing Snake Eyes can say from the 80s G.I. Joe.
Everything, and yet nothing at all.



Sixteen.



I've always been here, watching, waiting for the moment to strike.
Unfortunately, that moment has not arrived, and my kitten army has grown quite... Restless.

Wrong. He can see the window where he's about to install your new blinds.

Who was phone?

Well played.

That old hag who ran the hotel.
It's always her.

Can I have one of the kittens from your army?

No you can't. Set aside the fact that the little things are trained to slaughter everything within their field of vision and the paralyzing venom coating their claws, and you'd just fall apart from the radiation alone.