AWKWARD ZOMBIE

NEW RULES:
- No links to porn (unless for some reason you have express permission)
- No lewd comments to younger members (you guys could have gotten arrested for that shit)
- No telling the thread details about your 'escapades' (Exceptions, with permission, may include spoiler tags and vague references to the act and whether or not anybody wants it PMed to them)
- Anything else the proletariats wish to add


I primarily created this topic for gross bodily functions like poop and excretions with a few sexual things.

But mostly shit. Remember this, and it won't be locked this time. I have my eye on you. All of you.


To start it off...

Don't you hate it when you're taking a poo, the little turd drops off and displaces (COLD) water right back up into your butthole, which your sphincter hasn't had time to close yet so that drop of water goes right up there and you're like "FUCK" and clench yer butt?

Yeah i hate that.

this will not end well

Oh, I vill make sure for that >:3

I will enforce this thread as I would the Taboo Topics thread. If I see something out of line, I will delete said post and any post retaining to it. If you don't want to read know this stuff, don't read the thread. I'm okay with this, but this is not the total mod consensus. Hopefully this can be a place to vent your more inside things, if you're open-minded. Be considerate of others who do want a thread like this, and don't bitch about it if you don't want to read it. Just don't read it if you don't like it.

Don't fuck up.

Ever start walking home and about halfway your body goes "YOU GOTTA TAKE A DUMP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW"?

Talk about a close call...

Oh man Kale

i'd be walking home

and i'd be fine

then i round the last corner, and still be fine

then i get to my driveway and then suddenly
OH MY GOD MY BLADDER IS ABOUT TO POP

Yeah, that happens to me a lot...

It's like my body decides it'd be fun to see how fast I can unlock the front door and run to the bathroom

And then my pet cat

is like "*in the way* MEOW LOVE ME *wraps around legs and won't let me move* MEOW MEOW I LOVE YOU"

The wordfilter worked well with the topic.

Speaking of which, I'm assuming this is TMI...

I was helping my mom clean the house today. I had started working on cleaning the rack where the sliding glass door goes into. It hadn't been cleaned in Eris knows how long, it was all black and gunky. I threw up from the smell, was horrible.

Wake up in the morning put your feet on the floor,
Thirty yard dash to the bathroom door
DIARRHEA!

Ewww, Kev, black gunky D:>


And i know exactly how it is SHoo

even worse: BATHROOM IS OCCUPIED FUCK

I have my own seperate bathroom B)

Course, I get shavings everywhere.

It feels like I should have a boner. Yet, I don't.

Fucking constipation for the last week.

Thinking it's just a fart



and then Hershey Squirt