AWKWARD ZOMBIE

In this thread, post your two combatants, and I will write out the scenario for their battle and determine logically who would win. Bias-free! But I do request that you keep it to good vs. evil or neutral vs. evil. But you can pull anything from anywhere as long as it meets that requirement. Gargamel vs. a corn chip, for all I care. Also, no complaining about the outcome. A great deal of you here are above bias and fanboyism, but for the few of you who aren't, no. Lastly, please only one per person. Make another pairing when your first one is finished.

Here's one I thought about today.

Freddy Krueger vs. Superman:

Superman is invincible, but Freddy Krueger has the ability to flay you through your MIND. This might actually pose as one of the few ways to draw blood from Superman without Kryptonite being present. Superman likely doesn't sleep. But he can be rendered unconscious. So say during a routine fight with a Kryptonite-wielding criminal, Superman is knocked out. Freddy then seizes the opportunity. Superman sees a post-apocalyptic Metropolis beneath a crimson sky. At his feet is Lois Lane, savagely mangled. Beside her body is what can only be guessed as the torso of Jimmy Olson.

Superman takes a step back, and tears begin to form. The pure chaos goes beyond his comprehension. "CLARK!" a familiar voice calls out from behind him. He turns, and sees Lana Lang, ridden with fear. His distress turns into mild relief as he sees his former love alive. He walks over to her, and embraces her in a hug, which is not returned. Superman excitedly asks "Oh god, Lana. What happened? I- I remember stopping a heist, and then the next thing I saw. . . was this. Why is everyone dead? Why are the buildings destroyed? Where was I?" Blood starts to drip onto Superman's shoulder. He lifts his head to look at Lana, and metal claws are protruding from her face. He releases her and looks behind her body to see Freddy.

Without any hesitation, Superman throws a heavy punch at the killer. His fist goes through Freddy's head. Superman's arm begins to deform, and the faces of his loved ones start to appear in his skin. "Why did you do this, we needed you. We believed in you. You are a cowardly bastard!" "You were my idol. You were the perfect role model. You let everyone die. You should have been the only one." "We raised you the best we could, embracing your powers. But you don't care about anyone. You are a failure as a human and an alien!" Superman stares, and listens to the horror. Freddy lifts his hand, and slices Superman's arm off. "They weren't worth saving, anyway." Freddy says with a grin. Superman buckles in pain. Freddy pulls back his arm and laughs. "For the strongest being on the planet, you'd think you could have found one decent bitch." Freddy punches Superman's face in. In reality, Superman's head is smeared into the sidewalk. Freddy wins.



I have a couple of others, but I'll let someone else propose one.

Master Chief vs Abaddon the Despoiler.

Hmm. I like this idea.

Thor vs. Hellboy

Or better yet while I'm at it, Iron Man vs. Predator.

hahahaha are you serious

Toe vs. Finger

Spoony vs. Xabyrn

Master Chief vs. Abaddon:

Master Chief is called upon by Cortana. A new threat has reared its head. Or rather, an old one. Abaddon, a space marine told as a legend to Master Chief's recollection, has begun terrorizing nearby colonies with his advanced armies. All attempts to stop him have failed, so Master Chief is the only barrier between the safety of the world and complete annihilation.

Master Chief assembles a small army of the top soldiers, hoping to infiltrate Abaddon's defenses and attack from the inside. Master Chief gets the coordinates of the current target, a newly colonized planet, and mobilizes. Before the troops can even land, the enemy begins to tear at their ship. Despite their efforts, they are forced to set foot on ground to stay alive. That proves futile, as well, as the army completely destroys the entire platoon in seconds.


Master Chief runs from the fray, distancing himself from the enemy. He throws a grenade into the group, and attacks the front row head on with his battle rifle. As he plows through the enemy, the grenade goes off, sending most of the army flying. The remaining troops flee to the warmaster himself. Master Chief follows the enemy to their leader. The troops turn to attack the tracker, but are torn apart by the battle rifle. The final enemy sneaks up and attempts to stab Master Chief, who raises his gun to guard. The gun is destroyed, but Master Chief punches the grunt into submission. He then hears screams and runs to their location. As Master Chief arrives, he witnesses Abaddon slaying an entire family. Master Chief attempts to Abaddon, but is caught in mid-air by Abaddon's lightning claw. In a last-ditch effort, Master Chief swings his plasma sword, removing Abaddon's arm.

Abaddon grunts, and brings his sword down on Master Chief. Master Chief blocks the sword with his plasma sword, but even one-handed, Abaddon manages to overpower him. Master Chief rolls out of the way, and leaps at Abaddon. Abaddon steps aside as the exhausted Master Chief barrels by, stumbling. Abaddon swings his sword with all his might, and Master Chief raises the plasma sword only to have it broken in half. Along with his body. Abaddon wins.


Forgive me if that was a bit shitty. I don't know much about either character or their respective universes. If I did, I could have done that much better.

sweet bro vs. hella jeff

Captain Falcon vs. Gurren Lagann.

Hannah Montana versus Miley Cyrus.

This
Oh so this

dick fight

The forum rebels (heart, music, etc) vs. Merlin

I warned you about my fist man
I told you dawg

The Lich King vs Deathwing.