AWKWARD ZOMBIE

You are Garry, a small ten-year-old waiting for your mother to pick you up from school. Across the school is a park, where a boy maybe two years younger than you is playing with a remote controlled helicopter. You have a lolly in your pocket. It is a hot day and your shoes are uncomfortable.

>enter command.

>Remove shoes

>take Lolly out of pocket before it melts.

>command

Due to your extreme discontent with the discomfort of your shoes, you remove them. What is uncovered are two incredibly smelly socks, rampant with sweat. You feel they could be useful for terrorizing those icky girls.

You pull out your delicious lolly. Or, at least, you think its delicious. You don't really know. For all you know it could be a portal to another dimension

Looking over to the kid playing with the helicopter, you command him to lick his fingers. He promptly stares at you.

>punch kid in the face

>take a potato chip




>and EAT IT

>lick lolly menacingly

>Procrastinate.
>Freak out.
>Procrastinate by freaking out.
>Freak out.
>Stay up all night.

This kid is staring at you. That makes you feel weird. He's probably going to laugh at you. You're feeling uncomfortable. He's also thinking about how better he is. What with his "Remote controlled Helicopter" and his "Not having to wait for Mum to pick him up". This kid is itching for a bitching. You start to slowly, menacingly walk towards him. You walk straight across the road, completely ignoring the crossing because you are a badass. You start to close in on him, frowning in the most hate filled frown you can muster. He starts to sense something is wrong. His misdeeds have come to bite him in the booty. He tries to run away, already intimidated by your DOUGHY PHYSIQUE . But too late! You're already there. You clench your fist, and swing your arm around to his face. The blow connects! As the control of the helicopter is forfeited, it quickly descends to the ground, causing minimal damage at best

[Helicopter kid is now crying loudly on the floor]

Near the kid, you see that he has left some potato chips on the ground. You pick up one, as your doughy physique can only take so much more. You place it in between your jaws, and bite down with the most intense face you could muster.

You walk back to the wimp, and slowly pull your lolly to your mouth. You tongue protrudes out of your mouth, and licks the lolly, sending your taste-buds into a maelstrom of delight.

[Helicopter kid is now crying even louder]
[Helicopter kid's parents have heard the crying]

This is but a catalyst of the torment to come.

>Hit and run

>Go home and make a game vith the game mechanics from Half Life 2 vere you can do vhatever you vant to do and call it "Garry's Mod".

Suddenly you see the parents of the eight year old you just hit in the face advance on you! Your overnourished body cannot stand the excessive punishment from two adults! You make like a tree and get out of there, as fast as your feeble little legs can carry your massive body.
Fleeing into the school, you enter a small classroom and lock the door.
You remember that the door cannot be opened from the inside and that this school is accustomed to a minimum security prison

Unexpectedly, you feel the impulse to create a video game, whatever that is.