AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Story Time, children!

But first, a little background info about me. Well, my family really, but anyway...

My family immigrated from Soviet Russia, but I was the first to be born in the United States. As a result, I've heard some utterly bizarre stories from my parents about their childhood and such.

I am willing to share them with you. They will be short, simple, and some will be more interesting than others, so don't bitch about it. I'll probably only submit a story once every day or two. But, if this doesn't catch on, then we'll just let the thread die.

Some of you may realize why I got the idea for this thread from this first entry.

Anyway!

Both of my parents were born in the USSR, and both are 50% Russian. My Mother and Father are also in turn about 50% Ukrainian, and 50% Polish. Though I think I have a little Jew in me...

My Mother was born in 1960 of what is now Czechoslovakia, but this story isn't about her. It's about my Dad. As both of his parents were avid believers in the Christian faith, which as many of you may know, was despised in Russia at that time, his parents were imprisoned in Siberia, which was pretty much a Russian jail, as in Siberia, it is fucking cold.

It might not seem like much now, but here's the kicker. His Mom was pregnant. With him. He spent the first three years of his life living in prison. But as luck would have it, the year he was born was 1961, eight years after Stalin's death, and they were released a few years after his birth.

And there's the story of that. I'd like to know if you want to hear more. If you don't, I won't bother posting...

Hey, why the hell not?

Wait, someone actually responded to this?

Who?

Oh, you!






Wait, that actually is a very fitting post...

moar stories.

Tonight. I'm still trying to decide which one to tell next.

I wanted to post a picture of a midget jew in response to this quote.

But I couldn't find a nonpornographic picture.

I...What?

It's from the old really bad pickup line that only works for male midgets...

"Do you have a little [insert race here] inside of you?"
"No"
"Would you like to?"

lol mine 2

Merlin, I feel so close to you now.



I have made my choice. Military story. Well, my Dad wasn't technically in the military, but he was a mechanic. Worked on planes and stuff.

Onward!

My Father was the only one in his family who chose to go into the military. His Father wanted him to go into a Polish University. In the end, my Dad following his own gut and became a mechanic for the Soviet Air-force.

But this is more pertaining to his brothers.

The USSR, during the war in Afghanistan, were ready to take pretty much any soldier they could get. So, annual drafts were issued. Whenever one of these drafts was coming up, a month or so before the actual draft, all of the sons that were old enough to qualify for the Army were, quite bodaciously, starved. All to prevent them from being drafted.

I think I may do another small, war-based update tomorrow, and then I'll switch it up...

Wait a minute. The war in Afghanistan?

That's pretty recent. Just when did your family come here?

Not long before I was born. 1992.

Word.
Mine arrived in 1990.

Plus, my dad drove tanks in the army.

Fuck it would be weird if my parents knew yours.