This article is nuts.

Auntie · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:36 am

http://www.cracked.com/article_17612_6- ... ngdom.html

Apparently animals can make noises louder than a gunshot, make water hotter than the sun, and catch bugs at ridiculous speeds.

Miranda · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:42 am

Those fucking jellyfish stings. I mean, that's got to hurt like hell.

DarkSurfer · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:43 am

o lawd is dat sum lists

Also, I love Cracked.

Miranda · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:54 am

Cracked wrote:

Overheating has been a continuing problem with these batteries, and when we say "overheat," we mean they fucking burst into flames. Consider the fact that most consumer electronics are carried in enclosed spaces (like your pocket) in direct proximity to a heat source (your body) and you begin to see the danger. When you remember that your pocket is really close to your crotch, "danger" graduates to "holy shit how does a loving god allow this to happen."

Recently, a 15-year-old boy was dismayed to look down one day in class and find that the burning sensation in his pants was not another involuntary erection, but rather a raging inferno of top-shelf electronics going up in flames.

His iPod Touch had burst and melted through his clothes, causing second degree burns. Apple had no comment, presumably because there isn't an app for dick-searing crotch explosions.

epona4 · **Joined:** Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2507

Pokemon

They do exist...

Tall-Hatted Yanimae · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:53 am

The Pistol Shrimp I remember watching an animal documentary for.
It really can do that bubble thing, although I'm not entirely sure about the "hotter than the sun" thing.

I wouldn't be totally surprised if it really can do that.

See people, biology and animal research IS fun!

Looper. · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:03 pm

We must now invent some sort of device for containing them...some sort of device in ball form. Hurr hurr.

Maximilian · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 3:10 pm

Holy shit, time-traveling jellyfishes. I'm scared to go outside now...

Karilyn · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 3:45 pm

It was an awesome article, until I reached this part...

Quote:

The nematocyst cell fires the harpoon at such a high speed, the force of the acceleration equals 1,000,000 times the force of gravity. An astronaut will typically encounter four to five Gs during takeoff, which means if you put a jellyfish in the space shuttle, and it fired its stingers at the moment of takeoff, it would travel back in time

No. Anyone with a simple understanding of physics would know that's nonsense. That jellyfish is not even coming remotely close to the speed of light, much less exceeding it.

Hell, it's shooting those stingers how far? One inch (just to use a number)? Okay, one inch in 700 nanoseconds (as the article claims). Light travels the distance of an inch in 0.085 nanoseconds.

It's fucking fast, but it ain't even close to traveling backwards in time.

And even if it was moving fast enough that the combined velocity of the space shuttle and the jellyfish's stingers were to, when added together, "exceed the speed of light"... Well...

Special Relativity > Jellyfish and Space Shuttes

WonderWall · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:03 pm

I love hearing about things like this. Yay evolution!

Kalekemo · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:06 pm

Karilyn wrote:

It was an awesome article, until I reached this part...

Quote:

The nematocyst cell fires the harpoon at such a high speed, the force of the acceleration equals 1,000,000 times the force of gravity. An astronaut will typically encounter four to five Gs during takeoff, which means if you put a jellyfish in the space shuttle, and it fired its stingers at the moment of takeoff, it would travel back in time

No. Anyone with a simple understanding of physics would know that's nonsense. That jellyfish is not even coming remotely close to the speed of light, much less exceeding it.

Hell, it's shooting those stingers how far? One inch (just to use a number)? Okay, one inch in 700 nanoseconds (as the article claims). Light travels the distance of an inch in 0.085 nanoseconds.

It's fucking fast, but it ain't even close to traveling backwards in time.

And even if it was moving fast enough that the combined velocity of the space shuttle and the jellyfish's stingers were to, when added together, "exceed the speed of light"... Well...

Special Relativity > Jellyfish and Space Shuttes

Well there goes that dream...

THANKS A LOT YA JERK

Plasma · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:17 pm

Auntie wrote:

Apparently animals can make noises louder than a gunshot,

Hay guys, can I be in this thread too?

Yeah, whales are still louder than that shrimp.

Unbalanced · **Joined:** Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:54 pm **Posts:** 5286

Kalekemo wrote:

Karilyn wrote:

It was an awesome article, until I reached this part...

Quote:

The nematocyst cell fires the harpoon at such a high speed, the force of the acceleration equals 1,000,000 times the force of gravity. An astronaut will typically encounter four to five Gs during takeoff, which means if you put a jellyfish in the space shuttle, and it fired its stingers at the moment of takeoff, it would travel back in time

No. Anyone with a simple understanding of physics would know that's nonsense. That jellyfish is not even coming remotely close to the speed of light, much less exceeding it.

Hell, it's shooting those stingers how far? One inch (just to use a number)? Okay, one inch in 700 nanoseconds (as the article claims). Light travels the distance of an inch in 0.085 nanoseconds.

It's fucking fast, but it ain't even close to traveling backwards in time.

And even if it was moving fast enough that the combined velocity of the space shuttle and the jellyfish's stingers were to, when added together, "exceed the speed of light"... Well...

Special Relativity > Jellyfish and Space Shuttes

Well there goes that dream...

THANKS A LOT YA JERK

...

Have all of you failed to realize it was a joke?

Karilyn · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:18 pm

Kalekemo wrote:

Well there goes that dream...

THANKS A LOT YA JERK

Crushing people's dreams is one of my biggest turn-ons.

Plasma · **Posted:** Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:18 pm

Unbalanced wrote:

...
Have all of you failed to realize it was a joke?

Nope. But you have!

AWKWARD ZOMBIE

This article is nuts.

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