AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Hello dear fellow foolish Forumites. I, the beloved fellow forumite Kamak, through no evil deeds, have achieved 9999 quality posts of utmost importance on this forum (including this very post!). I am pop flyin' to announce that with just one more post I will assume my rightful place at the top of the forum, guiding you all with my perfection. The only problem is that for the time being, there are those who wish to... impede my ascension to perfection, leaving me just Pretty Dang Perfect.

So here's the deal, I need to hide my 10000th shitpo- I mean piece of enlightened knowledge on the second page of this thread before someone stops me. You may say there are other topics I can post on but this is integral to my scheme. I mean. This thread was my grandmother's and she wanted me to use it when it was the right time.

So dear meatpuppets and/or flesh-entombed skeletons, use this next page to ask me questions that I shall answer on the next page most assuredly. You will be rewarded with knowledge beyond your comprehension.

And candy! If by candy you mean eternal enslavement in the sugar mines.

So have at it. Ask me how great it is to be me after all of my growth and conquering has led to this. And I might answer!

okay so i was reading some interesting shit about the president's motorcade and the secret service

in addition to being on a list now, i learned some interesting things
like the presidential limousine keeps bottles of the president's blood on board in case he needs an emergency transfusion or in case michelle gets hungry and they can't find any cattle on which she can feed jk she's really pretty i love her i am not drunk i promsie

MY QUESTION to YOU sir is
if you got a new job and you were told they had to drain a few bottles of your blood out to store nearby in case you were injured
what kind of Little Debbie snack cake would you eat afterwards to avoid getting light headed????

I've got a hot tip for you, but you're gonna have to search me for it.

not sure if this is a penis joke or if i'm just dirty minded

but pls, he only has eyes for zac effron and steve buscemi

it's what tore us apaaaaart jk

How do I transcend to my native wolf form?

how do become mod on forum

I actually have a few questions

First, how freaking long has it been since I last posted I mean really.
Second, let's say I theoretically have a metaphorical wish granting genie with 3 wishes, if you catch my drift. If I used my first wish to grant him his freedom, would I still get the the other two? Theoretimetaphorically?
Third, did you hear that Guts finally got off the boat? I mean I haven't checked to see if it's true yet or not but that's not the point.
Fourth, if you have one bucket that holds three gallons of water and another bucket that holds five gallons of water, how many buckets do you have?
Fifth, what profit is it to a man if he gains the world at the cost of his very soul?
Sixth, see that mountain? You can climb it.
Seventh, you gonna just keep running away?!
Finally, has their ever been an instance where it is openly stated in a fictional drama that they couldn't find someone's body and they DIDN'T return alive later?

How many fingers am I holding up?

did you ever play xcom? a guy shoots

what?

Rounding to the nearest ten, how many times do you think I've listened to Death By Glamour as of the time I'm writing this post?
I've taken down the number for future reference.

I know all your secrets Turbo

Well yes, but Kamak doesn't.

Will I ever be free of this place

Will the release of death unshackle me from this forum

Will the spirits of my mod ancestors allow it

Can I penis?