AWKWARD ZOMBIE

It is 9:00 pm.
You sit in front of your computer monitor, it's dim glow providing the only light in your room.
You have one tab open to your homepage, your mouse hovering over the bookmarked link to your favorite forum.

What do you do.



First three responses happen unless stated otherwise.

Go outside and engage in sports

Get mauled by bear.

Die from bear-related wounds and become an awkward zombie.

It's far too dark out for sports, you may step in a gopher hole and snap your ankle.


You stumble about in the dark, making your way to your bed.
You grab the large stuffed bear on your bed and proceed to act out a vicious mauling.


You flop to the floor, the bear having disemboweled you. Your eyes roll up into your skull and your tongue lolls out. After a minute or so you rise to your feet shambling towards the unsuspecting bear, arms clawing at the air.
You let out a mournful, inhuman groan and bite the back of it's neck.
You raise it up into the air and thrash, swinging it around.
It drops to the floor, defeated and dead.
You roar in triumph, Romero would be proud.
Someone bangs on the door to your room.
They shout,
"Oi, keep it down!"
You timidly crawl back onto your chair.

It is now 9:30 pm

Go on Awkward Zombie and tell the forum of the experience.

Spin around in your chair until you get dizzy.

read your favorite hentai fanfiction for the 74th time

Go outside and engage in night sports

You click on the familiar stylized A and Z.
Your slow internet connection begins the laborious process of loading the page.
You stare blankly at the webzone as your computer gathers the necessary data.


You decide to spin in your chair in an attempt to kill time.
Grabbing your desk firmly, you shove yourself sideways with all your might.
You complete 4 revolutions before slowing to a stop.
Unsatisfied, you spin again, this time continuing your rotation via continuous pushing.
You gain speed and your view blurs to a single long glowing line in the dark.
The centrifugal forces prove too much and your leg extends, slamming into the side of your oak desk.
You fall off of your chair onto the floor.
From there you see that the Awkward Zombie homepage has loaded completely.
A hilarious comic depicts various Nintendo characters in a myriad of shenanigans.
You chuckle heartily despite having already seen it 12 times today.
A small description lies beneath the comic, Katie was late for work apparently, giving her the inspiration for the comic.
You click the forum button, the page begins to load.


with the page loading, you figure it's a great chance to reread your favorite piece of nsfw literature.
You open up a new tab and click on the shortcut to
KAWAIIFANFICTION.net
With the website being entirely text (save for the hunky anime guys and sexy anime babes flanking the website's logo) it loads fairly quickly.
You navigate to your favorite fic,
COLD RAMEN: A NARUTO X FROZEN HIGHSCHOOL AU FANFIC
You sigh contentedly as you read the opening line to yourself.
Ino and Elsa were walking to shinobi (author's note- shinobi means ninja) class when they walked past Sakura-chan...
You lose track of time, lost in the hot, sexy words.
Around the fifth sloppy ninja makeout session you remember to check on Awkward Zombie.
You navigate to the Unimportant Things topic, it's sheer amount of replies a dark reminder to human weakness.
You click on the latest page and as you wait you return to your fanfic.
"Oh Olaf!" Screamed Naruto-kun "you doki doki so good!"
Barely able to pull yourself away from the literature you put together a summary of the events regarding the bear.
"LOL. Just got attacked by a bear. Jk, my teddy bear. LMAO"
You hit submit, but as you do you suddenly feel the urge to go outside and engage in NIGHT SPORTS.

It is now 10:30
First reply will be treated as canon. Post as if you were actually replying.

"...Are you twelve? Or drunk? Or drunk AND twelve?"

[it's supposed to be another forumite replying, right? Unless I misunderstood, in which case, ignore]

Ooc/
Yep, you're good. I'll post a response later today, gotta get sleeping.
/ooc

A forum member has responded to your post.
Their postcount lies in the low ten thousands, dwarfing you meager 31 posts.
In the event of a forum emergency, their higher postcount gives them priority over you.

How will you proceed-
Will you ignore?
Will you respond?

First response chooses the course of events.

Respond with

After you respond, grab a glass of your favorite drink, and revel in your "victory". You now think you're on the fast track to becoming a cool regular oldster of the forum.