AWKWARD ZOMBIE

to my knowledge there's no thread about this and so I have created it to meet my needs

talk about things that embarrass you and embarrassing situations you have bumbled your way into recently

no turbo gross stuff we don't wanna hear about your escapades in illegal *** ***ing

yesterday one of my tutors asked to look through my sketchbook which embarrasses me enough anyway but that day I'd mindlessly doodled a whole lotta naked women

i accidentally stole a girls purse while i was doing american idol stuff

our sections was lining up and i just grabbed all our stuff in front of us and a purse got mixed in then when i realized i ran back and met with the cops that were just looking for me and i got it back to them with minimal almost tears

I was born.

It can never be undone.

Just today when I got off the bus I walked across the street in front of it since people were still getting off. I've done this a lot, but this time the driver started driving and then slammed the brakes and honked at me when he saw me.

Wups

I do a buncha singing, and I really like doing it most of the time, but every time I'm at a family gathering or around anyone who knows that I sing they want me to sing something and I'm like nooooo

Oh and similarly when someone starts singing at me (like if they're telling me how a song goes or something) it makes me sorta embarrassed...for them? Mostly because I have no idea what to say when someone's all like "Hey this song I now is super awesome! It has this one line that is so fuckin deep it goes a little somethin like this" and I just could not care less.

Once... I was at a craft fair/fashion show selling cookies. As far as the eye could see there was nothing but elderly ladies, not a single male in sight. So when I went into the men's restroom I thought "Hey, I'm really the only male here, I could very well use the handicap stall"
The very SECOND I sat down someone else walked in
And he was breathing heavily, making me uncomfortable and unable to pee, so I figured I'd wait for him to leave except he NEVER DID. Eventually I just gave up and super-awkwardly rushed out of the stall and the room. Turns out the guy was the only other male there, and part of the fashion show, so he needed the stall in order to change. So while I was rushing out I happened to see old-man chest. I'm super-lucky that it was only his shirt that was off... or that he apparently never told anyone about the situation since I was spared hearing anyone comment about it the next time I was there.

Once I was just late enough in the hallway for role call that the instructor surprised me and I tried to jump up through a wall because my brain ceased functioning. Good times.

I feel really self conscious and uncomfortable when I witness something I feel is intimate between two other people, like I'm intruding in on their privacy and I feel all weird and freaked out.

A good example of this is the song in Tangled, where the characters are sort of alluding that they're falling in love and try to facebattle.

Yeah, that scene made me very much aware that I was a teenaged boy watching a movie meant for little girls.

Two nights ago, I went to sleep while eating from a cup full of ice cubes, and the next morning I woke up with a big wet spot at my groin. For like 10 seconds I was all like, "Shitshitshitshitshit," but once I remembered about the cup of ice that had melted, I thought, "Well, could've been worse."

The other day I was swimming and I went underwater and wasn't watching where I was going and ended up in somebody else's lane

i put my ska music on blast whenever i'm driving. I sing along to it and do all the trumpet bits too. Well, not quite singing, more like shouting along. As soon as i drive into/past my neighborhood i put the windows up and lower the volume in case anyone sees.

Heheh, Blitz Walrus double posted.

/cape twirl

When I was in the fourth grade my mom and I had this thing where we slapped each others' butts. Don't know why, it was just a thing. Just so happened that fourth grade was also when I moved halfway across the country to St. Louis. Being the social butterfly that I was, I wanted to become friends with the other kids, so with all the social etiquette I had equipped I decided it was high time to slap some butts when exchanging pleasantries with people.

I still don't know what the other kids thought of that, and I'm kind of surprised I never got in trouble for sexual harassment (???), but thankfully I had the sense to stop after like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh four or five months or something.

Pretty sure the kids thought I was super weird but w/e, we all became friends by fifth grade (I always had awkward first years at schools and then the second year on-wards would be adventures).

you never slapped my butt when we met

are we not friends