AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Confessions went on a tangent for this and I don't want it to stop so here

Think of the most useless superpower you can, or debunk the uselessness of another superpower.

The power to type any word you know without typos, but only if you've never typed it before.

Become the spelling bee world champion. From there? World Domination.


The ability to make every character combination into an emoticon.

Become famous in Japan KAWAIIII ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ


My irl superpower is the nose of a bloodhound. Seriously.

Construct a computer program out of emoticons that hacks the Atomic Football and gives you control.



The ability to walk on water, but only if the water is a foot deep or less.

it's me, run away from danger man

Not get wet?

Super vision. While your eyes are closed. (No X-Ray vision)

The water might have parasites in it or spikes at the bottom or something.

The ability to make a single sheet of paper increasing its thickness by one hundredth of a nanometer.

Not to be forgotten in light of the good news today brought:
Captain Hair!

You don't type in spelling bees.

You can type it out in your head. HA! Beat the system.

Super farts.

The ability to move the entire universe one foot to the right, according to your orientation. Entire universe only, no bits and pieces. No effect on relative momentum.

The ability to make hair grow an extra millimeter every day

You can start the resurgence of 80's hair bands twice as fast!

You are now able to summon the motivation to get out of bed at whatever time you find reasonable.