AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Haha if all your sexual experience comes from porn and what that one dude says sex is like than you'll generally a bit disappointed.

Now we should all go around and talk about our first times.
My fist time fooling around was actually outside in the middle of Feburary '08 lolz.
I'll go more into detail if requested.
Full on penetrating sex was Thanksgiving '08.
Boyfriend's parents were out of town so we...partook of the buttsex lool

Not bad, aint got shit on how long I lasted my first time.
And knowing when to thrust for maximum pleasure is pro tier, nice.

No, you got the right attitude about it.
It's nice, but not crucial.
Hell it's REALLY nice, but not the greatest thing that'll happen to you.

STORY TIME KIDDIES!

Ok so when I was living with my best friend in Santa Barbara we would go to parties every so often, like these big parties you kinda have to know people to get invited to.
So me and him and our friend Victor go to one, we get drunk but not plastered. We're gentlemen after all.
The party starts to die down and I'm chillin on the driveway looking at the moon, and these 2 chicks come and lay down too. The one next to me starts talking to me, and it's flirty right off the bat. She's telling me I'm cute, nice eyes and that jazz. She wants to go inside, I tell her I need some convincing to go inside (god I'm a sly cat) so she sits right on my crotch and with a breathy voice says into my ear "How about now?" So I go inside with her and we sit on a couch togther, and I get a blanket for us. We start to make out (with other people in the room including my two friends who know this is the first time I've ever facebattled a girl), then she kinda starts to jack me off under the blanket complimenting my...size.
My bros leave the party and ask me if I wanna go, I say I'll stay for a bit and he says "ok be safe", Stay classy David.
So I'm stilll talking with this chick and we stay at the house watching various movies all goddam night till morning rolls around. Then we're walking down the street and I ask her if she wants me to make her breakfast at her place, she says sure. Bullshit I was making breakfast.
We get to her place, we're watching spongebob on tv. I'm no longer drunk at this point so my confidence is shot, but I say fuck it and start making out with her.
It happens
Freak out a little later and say I need to go home to get ready for a job interview, it was a lie but whatever she knew what this was.
Hug her at the door, blast my ipod on the way home, feel like a boss.
Wake my bro up, tell him what happened, says he's proud and gives me a hug.
Fuckyeah.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention the chick had a spongebob tattoo of Mr. Krabs, freaked me out a bit.
And her Sandy.
Go figure.

First post on page 666 of TMI thread?
I can dig it.

EDIT: saw post below, took out all the steamy things.
Sorry ladies.

I don't care one way or the other, but I'm just putting this here to remind everyone. If Madican's in line with his spoiler tags then carry on.

The first time is usually awkward or bad.

my first wasnt that bad sex wise, but she had problems with oral

by problems i mean teeth fucking hurt

Hah...my first time I suppose was actually the second attempt as the first attempt he freaked himself out too much and got nervous and we ended up just curled up in bed for a couple hours instead.

Second attempt was spontaneous (though still somewhat planned? I mean we'd talked about it and made sure we were ~ready~ so it was just a matter of when we had time haha,) and worked a lot better. It wasn't awkward OR bad, really :< It didn't hurt too much though we were both incredibly nervous us both being virgins and all so there was a lot of bumping foreheads and getting out of rhythm and such at first haha. Went slow and gentle and it was nice. Tuxedo Mask is Mr. Self-Control so we actually went on like almost 30 minutes I think, idk, the only reason we stopped is because his mum was due home and we didn't want any awkward since he doesn't actually live with her but we were using her house for the day >>

It wasn't some kind of epiphany-bringing event but it was a little strange? For a while afterwards like we both talked about it with this weird reverence like we weren't used to the idea that we'd had sex.



Then I posted on another forum like "sup i got laid" and the entire board freaked the fuck out hahaha. Made my day.

I forgot to mention I lasted for about 3 hours.

Why do I like the thought of casual conversation during light intimacy?
Yeah I'm sorry what

Yup.jpg

Had a wet dream about people I don't want to have wet dreams about.
I don't want to joke about it.

Had the same dream today like yesterday's and the day before.

I expected more escapades in satanistic cults on this page, but I guess this is fine too.

I had wet dreams about Satan last night.