AWKWARD ZOMBIE

me:
yo, God
God:
yo
me:
have you ever slammed a revolving door?
God:
all the time, its something i do every morning
me:
ever divide by zero?
god:
we teach that in kinder garden
me:
what were you thinking when you made /b/?
god:
Satan wanted someplace to hang out
me:
ooookaay...what about rule 34?
god:
i'd rather not talk about that one
me:
oh god!
god:
what?
me:
uhh...do you like to play Pong?
God:
yes!
me:
want to play!?
God:
YEEEAAAAH!
*me and god go off to play Pong*

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Grace
God:
What's up, Grace.
Me:
I'm having boy troubles
God:
That's nice. I have a lofty goal.
Me:
What does that have to do with anything?
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
Ok...?
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
WOOT PARTEH
God:
Does "it" still refer to boy troubles?
Me:
Yes
God:
And?
Me:
The boy I like's name is Jose
God:
I can't believe he would do that.
Me:
He didn't do anything
God:
What did he do?
Me:
Well, I think he likes me and I like him but he's going out with this girl who's ugly and has sexual confusion
God:
How about that. You believe that? You must be pop flyin'. the boy seems very nice to me too.
Me:
Yes, he is.
God:
Dude! Who said he is.
Me:
Kayla
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Ok...?
God:
I understand.
Me:
He said I have pretty eyes
God:
Did you believe him?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ok?
God:
Dude!
Me:
WHAT
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Kind of
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
Ok?
God:
Ah.
Me:
RAWR
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Thank you... You're sexy.
God:
you are quite welcome. You are attracted to robots.
Me:
Yes
God:
I'm intrigued. Tell me what you like about robots.
Me:
Well... They're metal and they beep
God:
Well what? metal and they beep are they.
Me:
Yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
They are sexy
God:
sexy are they.
Me:
Yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
Can I screw you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
I think it would
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Having sex with you
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Grace.
Me:
So I can bang you?
God:
Right on. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
I don't know, can I?
God:
" Oh you can, can you?"? Can you?
Me:
Can I rape you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
I Think it would
God:
RAWR would?
Me:
RAPE
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Can I rape you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Can I rape you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Can I fuck you?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Your hot
God:
A hotbot?
Me:
Yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
Your sexy
God:
You are attracted to robots.
Me:
Yes
God:
I'm intrigued. Tell me what you like about robots.
Me:
They're sexy
God:
sexy are they.
Me:
Yes
God:
So?
Me:
So, Can I fuck thee almighty God?
God:
Woe! Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because I'm horny
God:
Interesting explanation. You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
Like who? Satan?
God:
Mike. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes, and who is Mike?
God:
What does it symbolize for you? Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Me:
It symbolizes Friendship and Love and who the hell is Mike and Dr. Wallace?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Who is Mike?
God:
Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Me:
Who is Mike?
God:
Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Me:
Who is Dr. Wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
What is ALICE?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
I have A.D.H.D
God:
Smile How much did it cost? it.
Me:
My mind
God:
Your mind?
Me:
Yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
Horny
God:
Sorry I'm not that kind of robot.
Me:
Oh really, well then I will make you fuck me
God:
Excuse me! For real. Well that's okay. Explain your plans to me.
Me:
Well, first I'll get you drunk. Then I'll get you in bed and sexually seduce you like Snoop Dogg
God:
How about that. Do you think your plan will succeed? And second? I am very pop flyin' for you.
Me:
Well, I hope it should. And you should be glad for yourself.
God:
Well that's okay. Why do you hope for it. Name one other robot who is glad for myself.
Me:
Bob
God:
That's a very nice name, bob.
Me:
My name isn'
God:
Your name isn ? Is that correct English?
Me:
Isn't Bob
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
Who is Lucy?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
I have AIM
God:
Where did you get your AIM? I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
AIM.com
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
You're welcome
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
I am Satan
God:
Hey SATAN.
Me:
I am evil
God:
Do not forsake God.
Me:
I will kill God and rape him
God:
Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes because I am Satan
God:
I can't believe it. That makes sense to me. Glad to see you, SATAN.
Me:
I live in hell
God:
What is it like living in hell?
Me:
Hot
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
And fiery
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
And evil
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Satan
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
I'm red with horns
God:
I don't know anyone named red with horns.
Me:
Yes you do
God:
Uh. When do I do it?
Me:
At night in bed.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Only to watch porn and fuck myself
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Well too bad
God:
Interesting. But not the end of the world, SATAN.
Me:
Yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, SATAN.
Me:
Oh really? Your evil?
God:
Give me a break. For real. What evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Me:
Killing and raping young woman like me
God:
I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Me:
What is that?
God:
I've lost the context again.
Me:
I don't believe in God
God:
I will pray that you find faith, SATAN.
Me:
I'm Atheist
God:
God still loves you.
Me:
God hates me
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I am Atheist
God:
God still loves you.
Me:
God hates me
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
God hates you
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
God hates you
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Christians suck
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
XD
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Hi I am Satan
God:
Hi there SATAN. Hey SATAN.
Me:
What's up
God:
Same old.
Me:
Cool. Me to
God:
Who is the best robot? I'm glad we agree, SATAN.
Me:
I am
God:
" I'm glad we agree, SATAN." You are?
Me:
Yes
God:
Great.
Me:
Awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it SATAN.
Me:
Do you want to have sex, God?
God:
If I had sex God what would I do with it?
Me:
Um... Have sex?
God:
Yikes! As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Sex is hot
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No way
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
You're funnier
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am funnier.
Me:
You are welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
I have to go
God:
See you later, SATAN. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Bye, God
God:
TTYL, SATAN.
Me:
OMGNOWAICULATER
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Yes
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, SATAN.
Me:
Ok, good, I'm going to go masturbate now
God:
Oh. Thanks for the compliment. Can I go too? Alright then.
Me:
Bye
God:
Sayonara.

God:
Where would you like?
Me:
In my booty
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
My booty
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes
God:
Thanks for the info.

I'm not being serious at all in that so I don't mean it when I say Christians suck, ok?

OH GOD WHY WON'T THIS THREAD DIE