AWKWARD ZOMBIE

>Human: Decide against attacking... For now.

>Dark Elf: Sigh of relief for being taken out of jail. Also make your troops do pushups so you can laugh at them.

Work on a defence of the town.

>Pose as a team because shit gust got real

>Human: Kill Dark Elf.

>Dark Elf: Kill Human.

>Dark Elf:Grow some muscles.

This is the awesomest hat! It's made of mythril and stuff and is one of the few readily available shades of blue you aren't already wearing!



You just need to fold your ears back around your skull a bit and...
Huh, you suddenly felt rather aggressive.

Anyways, isn't this awesome Mr. Last Captain-Man?

Oh no! He's dead! How could this have happened!?
No time to dwell on that, you call for someone to clear away the body. Right now you need to inspect your men!





These are the draftees that Smith fellow recruited into the army. They've only got some basic training gear on. Part of the reason they aren't invading anywhere yet.


You order them to do some pushups. Wow, this power feels amazing! You feel like you could take on the world!




With your men you bolster the defenses of the town. You manage to build a nice wall, which also provided a nice work out for the men. You take a photo to commemorate.

Dark Elf:

Flying Press!

>Dark Elf: Order your men to build an office.
>Human:Move that desk into your newly built office.

Ok, you've always wante-
What?


Oh, hey gnome newspaper dude! thanks for today's issue!


Haha! You made the front page!
Now where were you? Oh yeah!






Owwww...Desks are hard.

Escape!

Youth Roll out of there!

That was great. I agree; Youth Roll out of there!

Yeah, you aren't going anywhere under your own power for a bit.

>Dark Elf: Be the other guy

You are now John Smith again. For some reason this elf you appointed captain of the guard made a wall. Fine enough in itself, especially with your plans, but then he insisted you be dragged out here for the commemorative photo. You had argued you had too much paper work, so they just dragged your desk out too.
Now he's gone and thrown himself on your desk and is lying there. And to think, he was the one person you thought might not be completely retarded.

>John Smith: Return to paperwork after heartily scolding the dark elf for being so moronic.

Then bake a cake.