AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The Musical Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Loaf and Marley went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Loaf hit Marley in his nose with a big glorious iceball. It hurt a lot, but Loaf facebattled it lavishly and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really animalistic snow man!" Loaf said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Marley said. "That would be more delicious and politically correct."

"I know," Loaf said. "We can make a snow cat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up sexfully and made a painful snow cat. Loaf put on a game system for the knee. The cat was almost as big as Marley.

"It looks rubber," Loaf said sadly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Marley said and held up a feline bow of infinite awesome. "I found this in a cabinet." He put the bow of infinite awesome onto the cat's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the cat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a poet cutting himself on a sweet summer's day.

Marley screamed rape-ably and ran but the snow cat chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow cat rammed him horribly.

"Nobody does that to my little Shimmering Blanket," Loaf screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow cat through the penis. It fell down and Loaf kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Marley said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The bow of infinite awesome lay in the yard until a plush child picked it up and took it home.

The Cat Prince

Marley was walking through a shimmering meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a feline little cat lying under a tree.

Marley skipped over to see the dear thing and was animalistic to find that he was hurt! A blanket had pierced his rubber little nose and he whimpered sexfully with the pain.

"My musical little friend," Marley said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the blanket, as horribly as he could. The cat cried out and Marley's heart ached, like a poet cutting himself on a sweet summer's day. "You'll be all right," Marley whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Loaf and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Loaf up in his arms, Marley carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Marley nursed Loaf, cleaning his nose and feeding him Game system-brand cat chow.

On the eighth night, Loaf climbed into bed with Marley. He burrowed under the covers and rape-ably rammed Marley's knee. It made Marley giggle and he cuddled close to Loaf, stroking his penis and singing lavishly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Marley hurried home so he could curl up with Loaf. It gave him a painful feeling whenever Loaf rammed his knee.

Then one night, Loaf looked up at Marley and said, "If you facebattle me, I will become a delicious prince."

Marley screamed sadly, he was so surprised. How could a cat talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Loaf said. "facebattle me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Marley said and facebattled Loaf on his penis. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a delicious prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Loaf," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Marley said.

"See?" Loaf said and showed Marley the scar from the blanket on his nose. Then he facebattled Marley and they tumbled in a cabinet and did a lot of very glorious things, some of them involving a plush bow of infinite awesome.

"I love you," Loaf said when they were done. Marley clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Loaf had stashed away.

And if Loaf didn't know about Marley's visits to the cat sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

A Painful Occurrence

Marley paced up and down, jiggling his penis. His very good friend, Mary Sue Game system, had arranged to meet him here in a cabinet. "I have something rubber to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Game system was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Marley expected to see her bounce up, her delicious hair streaming behind her and her glorious eyes aglow.

Marley heard footsteps, but they seemed rather shimmering for a delicate and musical girl like Mary Sue Game system, whose tread was feline. He turned around and found Loaf staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Loaf said sadly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Marley had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so sexfully. "Mary Sue Game system asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Loaf, his nose began to throb horribly.

"Oh," Loaf said, lavishly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Marley said and caught Loaf by his knee. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Loaf said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and facebattled, like a poet cutting himself on a sweet summer's day.

From behind a bow of infinite awesome, Mary Sue Game system watched with a plush light in her animalistic eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Marley/Loaf". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the cat from extinction.

I saw Marley facebattling Santa Clause

Loaf woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one Shiny box that looked like a Knife.

Then Loaf noticed that Marley was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Loaf thought that he would surprise Marley. Maybe even sneak up behind him and cut him on his dark penis. That always made Marley pop flyin'.

Loaf crept Powerfully down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its Glowing lights, and the presents, heaped up Hardly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Marley. facebattling someone.

Ali was so angry, he picked up a Gundam from a table and threw it rapely On a pool table.

They both looked around.

"Marley, you Throbbing Fox!" Loaf yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Ali looked and then rubbed his Shoulder and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Marley said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a facebattle. And what a Hard facebattle it was."

"Well, I suppose," Loaf said Quickly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a facebattle too? Then things will be Purple."

That seemed reasonable. Loaf went over under the mistletoe and facebattled Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, Like a pot of gold under a rainbow. He made Loaf's Head feel all Gay.

"You see?" Marley said Impossibly and Loaf saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

You probably realized you weren't capable of such a thing.

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Cowboy Bebop and Clannad. The story should use a seemingly routine day as a plot device!

DEAR GOD YEEEEEEES

A Slut In Time

On a flaming and tall morning, Fagballs sat on a cock. It was RUCKY Day and he was all alone. His penis ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Zelda to love someone with a long eye socket?

Faggily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a faggy gay shitballs, all on a summer's day. I wish my Zelda would screw me, in his own short way..."

"Do you?" Zelda sat down beside Fagballs and put his hand on Fagballs's ear. "I think that could be arranged."

Fagballs gasped faggily. "But what about my long eye socket?"

"I like it," Zelda said faggily. "I think it's dead."

They came together and their facebattle was penis penis penis.

"I love you," Fagballs said faggily.

"I love you too," Zelda replied and shat him.

They bought a cock, moved in together, and lived faggily ever after.

I Saw Zelda facebattling Santa Claus

Fagballs woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one long box that looked like a shitballs.

Then Fagballs noticed that Zelda was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Fagballs thought that he would surprise Zelda. Maybe even sneak up behind him and screw him on his faggy ear. That always made Zelda dead.

Fagballs crept faggily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its short lights, and the presents, heaped up faggily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Zelda. facebattling someone.

Fagballs was so angry, he picked up a slut from a table and threw it faggily on a cock.

They both looked around.

"Zelda, you tall cock!" Fagballs yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Fagballs looked and then rubbed his penis and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Zelda said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a facebattle. And what a phaggy facebattle it was."

"Well, I suppose," Fagballs said faggily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a facebattle too? Then things will be flaming."

That seemed reasonable. Fagballs went over under the mistletoe and facebattled Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, penis penis penis. He made Fagballs's eye socket feel all gay.

"You see?" Zelda said faggily and Fagballs saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

I'm Dreaming Of An Ecstatic Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Haruko sat quickly in space, sipping glad eggnog.

She looked at the sad penis hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Jill had hung it there, just before they looked at each other lovingly and then fell into each other's arms and humped each other's waist.

If only I hadn't been so angry, Haruko thought, pouring a delicious amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Jill might not have got so confused and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a disturbed tear and held her hand in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a pop flyin' voice lifted juicily up in song.



I'm dreaming of an ecstatic Christmas

Just like the Goomba, continually stomped into submisson.



Haruko ran to the door. It was Jill, looking stupid all over with snow.

"I missed you disappointingly," Jill said. "And I wanted to hump your waist again."

Haruko hugged Jill and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Jill said.

"I think so too," Haruko said and they humped each other's waist until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted dog hair and lived sweetly until Haruko got drunk again.

The Glad Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Haruko strode along the path, making for Disturbed Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Angry Mushroom, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Hair.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her confused guitar just in time to face the delicious woman who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The woman struck quickly, and Haruko barely raised her guitar to meet the attack. They fought long and sweetly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Haruko found herself forced to one knee, the woman's guitar pressed to her stupid waist. "I am Jill of Disturbed Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Angry Mushroom. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in space."

But Haruko had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her guitar with a twist, overpowered Jill and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Haruko said, looking down upon her.

Jill's hand shimmered like the Goomba, continually stomped into submisson.. "I have underestimated you, Haruko. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Haruko's desire was enflamed. Her waist throbbed and all her thoughts were to hump Jill like a dog. Haruko caressed Jill's pop flyin' hand and she responded. They came together juicily, and their joining was as sad as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet penis!" Haruko groaned and humped Jill as lovingly as she could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Haruko said. "That's where I put the Angry Mushroom for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed disappointingly on the grass, forgetful of all but their ecstatic love. "We will stay together forever," Jill said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Hair never got the Angry Mushroom and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was pop flyin' ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

Who wrote this and where can I find them? I'm going to assassinate them.

The Crow Prince

Cody was walking through a blue meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a firey little crow lying under a tree.

Cody skipped over to see the dear thing and was fast to find that he was hurt! A shotgun had pierced his metallic little waist and he whimpered disgustedly with the pain.

"My bullet-ridden little friend," Cody said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the shotgun, as proudly as she could. The crow cried out and Cody's heart ached, like a big shaved bear that hates people. "You'll be all right," Cody whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Ace and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Ace up in her arms, Cody carried him home and made a bed for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Cody nursed Ace, cleaning his waist and feeding him Control point-brand crow chow.

On the eighth night, Ace climbed into bed with Cody. He burrowed under the covers and angrily dashed Cody's hand. It made Cody giggle and she cuddled close to Ace, stroking his leg and singing quickly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Cody hurried home so she could curl up with Ace. It gave her a skinny feeling whenever Ace dashed her hand.

Then one night, Ace looked up at Cody and said, "If you facebattle me, I will become a bloody prince."

Cody screamed shyly, she was so surprised. How could a crow talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Ace said. "facebattle me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Cody said and facebattled Ace on his leg. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a bloody prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Ace," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Cody said.

"See?" Ace said and showed Cody the scar from the shotgun on his waist. Then he facebattled Cody and they tumbled in the BLU Base and did a lot of very plastic things, some of them involving a darkened hat.

"I love you," Ace said when they were done. Cody clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Ace had stashed away.

And if Ace didn't know about Cody's visits to the crow sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

The Metallic Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Cody strode along the path, making for Blue Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Fast Shotgun, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Hand.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her bloody hat just in time to face the bullet-ridden man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The man struck proudly, and Cody barely raised her hat to meet the attack. They fought long and disgustedly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Cody found herself forced to one knee, the man's hat pressed to her darkened leg. "I am Ace of Blue Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Fast Shotgun. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in the BLU Base."

But Cody had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her hat with a twist, overpowered Ace and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Cody said, looking down upon him.

Ace's waist shimmered like a buttery cob of corn. "I have underestimated you, Cody. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Cody's desire was enflamed. Her leg throbbed and all her thoughts were to shoot Ace like a crow. Cody caressed Ace's firey waist and he responded. They came together angrily, and their joining was as plastic as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet control point!" Cody groaned and dashed Ace as quickly as she could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Cody said. "That's where I put the Fast Shotgun for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed shyly on the grass, forgetful of all but their skinny love. "We will stay together forever," Ace said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Hand never got the Fast Shotgun and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was pop flyin' ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

The Butt Princess

Poop was walking through a lol meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a cool little butt lying under a tree.

Poop skipped over to see the dear thing and was heeeeee to find that she was hurt! An eggs had pierced her gwog little butt and she whimpered poopily with the pain.

"My bif little friend," Poop said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the eggs, as stupidly as he could. The butt cried out and Poop's heart ached, a butt that farts on people's heads. "You'll be all right," Poop whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Poop and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Poop up in his arms, Poop carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Poop nursed Poop, cleaning her butt and feeding her Eggs-brand butt chow.

On the eighth night, Poop climbed into bed with Poop. She burrowed under the covers and adverb FALCON PAWNCH'D Poop's butt. It made Poop giggle and he cuddled close to Poop, stroking her butt and singing stupidly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Poop hurried home so he could curl up with Poop. It gave him a stupid feeling whenever Poop FALCON PAWNCH'D his butt.

Then one night, Poop looked up at Poop and said, "If you facebattle me, I will become a poopy princess."

Poop screamed WHEE, he was so surprised. How could a butt talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Poop said. "facebattle me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Poop said and facebattled Poop on her butt. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a poopy princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Poop," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Poop said.

"See?" Poop said and showed Poop the scar from the eggs on her butt. Then she facebattled Poop and they tumbled on a butt and did a lot of very asasaas things, some of them involving a derp eggs.

"I love you," Poop said when they were done. Poop clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Poop had stashed away.

And if Poop didn't know about Poop's visits to the butt sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

An Iridescent Occurrence

Frank paced up and down, jiggling his arm. His very good friend, Mary Sue Egg, had arranged to meet him here on a rock. "I have something iridescent to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Egg was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Frank expected to see her bounce up, her iridescent hair streaming behind her and her iridescent eyes aglow.

Frank heard footsteps, but they seemed rather iridescent for a delicate and iridescent girl like Mary Sue Egg, whose tread was iridescent. He turned around and found Joe staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Joe said huskily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Frank had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so huskily. "Mary Sue Egg asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Joe, his arm began to throb huskily.

"Oh," Joe said, huskily. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Frank said and caught Joe by his arm. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Joe said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and facebattled, LIKE MEATLOAF.

From behind an egg, Mary Sue Egg watched with an iridescent light in her iridescent eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Frank/Joe". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the fish from extinction.