AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Pierce presses the button for Diana.

Cranston taps down on Diana's button.

Lucky presses the button for Diana.

Punchy presses Diana's button regrettably.

".............."
Joe slaps his wing on Diana's button.

Hot daisies this post took forever. Can't wait until the next one, sob~

"The votes are in, let's see if you're correct, upupu..."

TOM NOOK'S SLOT MACHINE



JACKPOT!!!



"You bastards actually got it right! Looks like we'll have a good execution" he says with a grin as Timmy and Tommy unlatch the door and go outside, locking it back up once they're outside.

"But first, we need to address a couple of remaining points in the case."

"You," Nook said, pointing at Pierce. "You could tell that the scratches on the door were a red herring, but you still presumed that someone involved in this case left them. I will say, those marks were left at a time where anyone could have left them, but the person who left them, well, that's a mystery all on it's own, isn't it?"

"Perhaps it was someone making their... grand debut... upupu..."

"Also, the votes weren't unanimous. Someone tried to secretly vote for someone else and pretend to vote for Diana. It's a good thing for them that we don't kill for stupidity~"

"And finally... I feel like the exact nature of last night needs to come to light. So you can appreciate the despair, and perhaps concieve of what your life in this town will be like from now on..."

"Wait, what are you saying? Didn't we get all of the facts from last night correct?"

"Perhaps... but let me propose a different scenario for what really happened last night."

Tom Nook's Awe-Inspiring, Despair-Inducing Scenario



"You bastards got everything right up until when Bud came after Diana.

He was out of his mind in pain. Perhaps he was looking for another victim.

But maybe, he was also looking for help.

He knew he couldn't get out of this town without paying off his debt. I'm sure that was a fact that lingered in his mind.

But perhaps the fear and despair he felt drove him to think irrationally.

He confronted Diana not to kill her, but as a last ditch effort to be comforted, to seek help.

Even his last words could have been him begging for her help.

"Please... understand..." "I... I CAN'T STAY HERE. NOT LIKE THIS." "Please... let me escape."

He was gripping her hard, but he likely knew his time was short. Being an Idol, he probably wasn't used to being alone. He didn't want to die alone.

But I guess, he didn't. She pulled the knife from his eye, hoping to keep him from using it on you, and the pain caused him to topple over and meet his demise.

He died unlike a true Idol. Unlike a true King of the Jungle. How pathetic and pitiable.

You killed him when he just wanted your comfort, isn't that deliciously ironic?

"What!? I wasn't told that he even spoke to Diana! Why was this information withheld?"

"The Mayor didn't think it was information you needed to know. Frankly, I think you knew too much this time. Perhaps that will change."

He turns to Diana.

"How does it feel to know that you murdered someone who wanted your help? Perhaps you took comfort in the fact that it wasn't your fault?"

"People like you are the worst in this world. You delude yourself into thinking your actions are just or right, in order to not fall into the despair of knowing what you did was wrong according to your own actions. You don't feel remorse, because then you'd have to admit you were wrong."

"But how does it feel now? Your cries of self-defense fall on deaf ears. You killed because there was opportunity to be seized."

"Isn't that enough To-"

"Oh no. I want her to feel the despair she denied for so long, I want to drink it all up...UPUPUPUPUPUPUPU!!!"

Nook's laughter rattled through the town hall, making everyone, even the town members feel uncomfortable.

"You've got that wrong."

"Or rather, your interpretation of his last words is what's wrong."

"There are many ways the words "Please... understand..." "I... I CAN'T STAY HERE. NOT LIKE THIS," "Please... let me escape," can be interpreted.

"The first interpretation, Diana's, relies on what Diana was seeing, a bloodied lion with a knife in his eye from his all-too-recent knife fight lumbering his way towards her. This caused her to interpret his words as threats."

"The second interpretation, yours, relies on what Bud could have been feeling, (which cannot be proven in any case) alone, scared, homesick, and despair. This caused you to interpret his words as being filled with despair."

"The third and final and new interpretation relies on what Bud was feeling physically, which was pain. One can only imagine how much pain a knife in your eyeball would bring. And so, Bud was not murderous, nor was he in despair, he was looking for a release."

Joe points his wing at Diana, causing his chains to rattle. "Which he found in the form of Diana."

These words shake Diana until she completely loses her composure.

"H-he what?!

I said I wanted to help him, didn't I?! I never wanted to kill him! He didn't--I-I didn't take advantage of--"

Tears well up in the deer's eyes as the raccoon continues to speak to her.



"H-How dare you try to make assumptions about what I'm thinking!" Diana wails. "You don't...you don't know what it's like to take someone's life by accident, you freak!! How was I to know that trying to help him would end up killing him..."


Her sobs quiet down a little when she hears Joe speak up for her. She looks up at the bird with red, tear-stained eyes.

"Accident or not..." Whitney stared down at the podium, looking sad. "Nook said it didn't matter. I...I-I'm sorry, Diana..."
And here she thought she had found a friend in the deer. It looked like things were going to be over all too fast. She examined the object Diana had tossed to her before tucking it away into her pocket and closing her eyes.

"Accident or not, the deed put him out of his misery, which is an act of good."

Joe turns to Tom Nook and says, "Hey, can I see the butcher knife? There's something I'd like to inspect about it up close."

"Oh... Gosh... I thought we'd feel good catching the murderer. Now I just feel horrible, faced with the fact that someone was murdered and now another one will be to wipe clean the record...

"But... but what's the point of murdering if you'll get executed anyway?"

"That you'll get away with it. She didn't mean to kill Bud but didn't want to die for it. So she tried to lie for a while but eventually her conscience won out."

"well, I think it's just about time we got to the execution, shall we?"

Tom pulled a rope hanging down from the ceiling next to the chair and a TV popped out with an odd image.





A spherical cage, much like the one Joe was in, closes around her, and she is flung out of the town hall like a pinball. Outside, the ball lands in a pile of leaves right next to Timmy and Tommy.

"To create is a noble endeavor."

The duo begin to turn the leaves into furniture.

"With creation, something is new is born, something more useful than it was before."

The boys continue to frantically turn the leaves into a variety of furniture that builds up around Diana.

"Those who create take pride in their creations..."

The mountain of furniture begins to take shape into a humanoid form. Tom Nook rides out along the creation on a giant electric nail-gun, in order to keep the furniture held together.

"At the end of the day, they're proud of their accomplishments. Their work contains every essense of their being."

The structure rises to be about 50 feet tall, and takes the form of a giant Diana. Nook continues nailing away as Diana is held in the center of the structure, visible to the other villagers.

"But..."

Nook reaches the top and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. He then pulls out a cigar and begins to smoke it.

"Eventually, all creations fall to ruins."

The cigar slips out of his hands and lands on the head of the monument of furniture.

"Nothing lasts forever. Everything that's created will eventually be destroyed."

The monument catches fie quickly as Tom glides down to assess the damage.

"Creation is a thing borne of ignorance of the inevitable."

The stucture begins to collapse as Timmy and Tommy take pictures.

And once the creations fall, the creators are forgotten. Forever."

*CRASH*

And then, everyone knew.

Diana was no longer among the living.