AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, but every time you listen to music, no matter how good it is, your ears bleed.

I wish I didn't procrastinate.

Granted, but now you are to organized that people are tired of it.
I wish to have wings and fly and they are made of feathers and are unbreakable and they can't melt.

Granted, but your wings were made of duck feathers.

I wish my torrent speeds go faster.

Granted but now they go so fast they melt a hole in your computer. Don't ask me how it does that, it just does.

I wish I wouldn't get distracted so easily.

Granted, but you are so focused your eyes pop out!
I wish people would stop making fun of me at school.

Granted, But the AZ forum makes fun of you.

I wish I could play The Sims 3 right now.

Granted, however, you must pay $40 every week to play.

I wish had something to do right now.

Granted. That thing to do is kill yourself.

I wish I had visible breasts

Granted, they're visible because you're naked.
Or....
Granted, but it turns out that all of your crushes liked pettanko.
If I could just have one wish, truely, from the bottom of my heart, I would look back on my life, turn it into a book, and read it quietly by the window sill.
And it would still be shorter then this book I have to read

Granted put every page gives you multiple deep paper cuts until the pages are so red with blood you can no longer read them. And then you heal miracoulsy! Dont die! I would feel bad then!

I wish that I was graduated with my Computer science degree all ready

Granted. But you become a hobo afterwards because you couldn't find a job.

I wish for cotton candy.

Granted, but it's made of cyanide and happyness.

I wish I'd have infinitely fast internet.

Granted, but it's so fast that it stays several steps ahead of your actions, making it impossible to interact with your internet any longer.


I wish I didn't have ADD.

Granted but I think I will look up ducks.

I wish that my hair was a few inches longer.

Granted. You buy a tonic at the store that grants hair growth to bad you apply way to much and now you look like the Thing from the Adams Family.