AWKWARD ZOMBIE

"Put yourself in the proposed scenario as the murderer."

"What would you do if you saw someone try to kill another person, and then come after you? Don't deny that you'd want to defend yourself... and maybe get away with murder. It's the one time society would say that you're an innocent victim. It's the one time to satisfy your inner bloodlust."

"Eh, why are you helping us, all of a sudden?"

"Am I helping?"

"Or am I leading you bastards to your death."

"If I'm helping you now, will you think I'm helping you down the line?"

"Even while I'm leading you to the gallows?"

"I have my reasons for the things I say to you."

"It makes things more fun for me, upupu~"

"But believe what you want to about the things I say."

"You know deep within yourself that what I say is true about you bastards at the deepest level. Even if you don't want to admit it yourself~"

"Whatever, I just think you're scooting us in the right direction a bit too much right now."

"Now wait a minute. I'd like one more thing clarified before we wrap things up."

"Who attacked Bud at his home, and why? Nook, you said he didn't leave his house until nighttime, so if he was attacked at his home, that's when it would have had to happen."

"And if the attack happened at nighttime, then we can narrow down the list to people who we know were out and about last night. Namely Joe, Diana, Whitney, and myself."

"... Eh? Hold the phone, you were outside? What was your reason for being outside then, and why haven't you brought it up until now?"

Pierce folds his arms and sighs.

"I DID mention it already. Whitney and I were out last night investigating around your house because we thought you were acting suspicious."

Joe uses the end of one of his wings to pick at one of his beak's nostrils absentmindedly.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I had forgotten because it feels like this trial's been going on for days."

"Speaking of suspicious....."

"I'd like to hear the real reason you were out last night, rookie."

"I've already told you, buddy. It was to find that mystery thief and reclaim the femur!"

Pierce pounds his wings on the podium and glares at Joe.

"Stop lying!!!"