AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Yet another pun I shamelessly stole from the internet:

How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

You'll leave all the dimwits back on the dark side at this rate, Saintcrazy. Perhaps you should try making puns that aren't always reflecting the glorious light of others?

I know I suck at puns, I'm better at poetry okay?

My buddy wouldn't shut up about how fantastic his plain cheeseburger was. I think he was fishing for condiments.

Better than fishin' chips.

When I'm at work I sometimes think of puns so I e-mail myself to think about later



gives you

"My favorite time of the year is when I strap cards to my fists and punch walls. Decking the halls is so much fun."

I think I might have a problem

I never know what to get for Christmas. I'm so tensel.

Well, you've presented us with your style of humor.

Good thing I can regift it.

A couple of Eskimos were in a wooden canoe. They were getting cold, so they decided to light a fire in the boat, with disastrous results; proving once again that you cannot have your kayak and heat it too.

Their stupidity was nothing boat sealous.

A friend of mine made a clone of himself to be my servant, so I said, "Well that's kind of you."

What a cookie-cutter kind of statement.

There once was a con man claiming to be a friar living in the forest. He had come to the house of a man named Hugh. Hugh saw through his ruse, despite the con man fooling everybody else in the neighborhood. Hugh took him in to the police, who promptly arresting him, proving that only Hugh can prevent "forest friars".

oops no funny

So I met this guy who used to be a gladiator at a roman ren faire-esque thing. He told me the people there called him "Glutius Maximus". I said, "really?"

He was just pulling my leg.

THANKS, A&P

Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in-tents.

Yeah I heard Bozo got his left arm and leg trapped under some props, but don't worry I hear he's all-right.