AWKWARD ZOMBIE

FUS RO DAH!! (obligatory)
My hill.

*shows elder scroll
*pushes off hill
MY HILL
I can't believe I haven't died

Meanwhile at the edge of Lagrange 4, a solar powered capacitor has been charging for a decade. Seeing this as the right time to strike, I fire the retro rockets and rotate to face earth at the designated coordinates. The ionizer is reaching critical mass. I place my hand on the trigger. 85 percent capacity and rising. Sweat beads on my forehead as the capacitor heats the cabin from releasing 10 years of power at once. 90 percent. The geosynchronous satilite in low earth orbit zooms in to give me a view of my target. A battle wages on a mound not more than a hundred feet tall. the grass is stained with blood from the combatants. 98 percent. I insert the ignition keys and stabilize for firing. Time to end this, I thought. I pull the trigger. My craft is shot backwards from the blast as particle beam travels at near relativistic speeds to it's doomed target. The return shuttle is damaged, it may be some time before I can land on earth with it again. I refocus on the target. The hill begins to brighten as if I were staring at the sun and then... it vanished. The war of terror hate and bloodshed is now over. There is now no hill to fight for.

*Paralyze*
*IIZ SLEN NUS*

*walks away without taking the hill as NR ricochets around the sky due to wonky physics*

Wildly grab for anything in range and end up clutching the hill for everything i have, physics calms down and I claim the hill. My Hill.

Fires an arrow into Runes' knee.
Then shoots Rune with a Bazooka.
Then lights the remains on fire.
Then puts ashes into an urn, then throws ashes into the ocean.

MY HILL.

(Also updated the first post with a new rule about not being allowed to destroy the hill).

First, there was nothing.

Then, the hill said: Let there be war!

The hill placed me as eternal ruler of the land.

But not the hill.

Until one day, I had enough of it. I launched a full scale assault on the hill with my one-man army. I killed everyone. Everything. Not even a single cell was left alive in a 20 mile radius of the hill.

My. Hill.

>Uses Monster Revive.
>Goes to another country.
>Asks for a favor.
>2 days later, all of Flicky's forces were vaporized by artillery.

MY HILL.
(Death Total: 4)

I don't think we count game ending posts, no matter how well written.
My ashes seep into the ocean water and reconstitute themselves using pre-existent bio-matter and Life giving compounds of Sulfur Vents. I return, out of the ocean as a sentient Humanoid Creature, and assault the hill. Rockets ricocheting off my carapace, I sever the wounded ShadowGuy, claiming My Hill.

I stealthily plant a nuke next to the hill and sneak away to a safe distance. I set off the bomb. Everything on and around the hill is destroyed, the hill has been rendered indestructible by Shadowguy's decree leaving it floating in the air with no access by ground forces. I'll be back for the hill later.

As the smoke plume clears, I can't believe it. The hill is inctact. It's as if some unnatural godlike force changed the rules of physics. I didn't want to use this, but I have no choice. I hop in my damaged shuttle pod and head to orbital craft VI at Legrange 3.
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER
It is done. I may go to hell for this, but that daisies hill and all involved are far too dangerous for humankind to survive. I'm relying on an old experiment of mine, designed to evaporate enough water that the cloud cover would solve global warming. What I didn't know during tests was that the device ignited the breathable air in the lab, suffocating all inside and incinerating anything else. Luckily that lab was in a space station, but this is for real. a small probe I fired down to earth contained a much higher powered version of the device, so the atmosphere will chain react and burn completely. At this point, the people left on earth after the great war are few, and the harsh aftermath will forever prevent any space faring survivers from ever returning to the green and blue ball. Well, it won't be those colors for much longer. The probe ignites at the base of the hill. The skies turn red and the oceans disappear as the planet is charred beyond use. Now only I have the technological capabilities to ever get to the hill and prevent it from falling into the wrong hands.

Stranaton for best player.

As my charred remains were purged, far beneath the earth, I am reconstructed into a sulfur-breathing creature, I, despising myself and all those who forced me into this state, I rise to the surface, with an acid producing bacteria army in tow, I assault the hill, my radiation reviving all around me, even the trees to their original state, how can they be normal when i am such a monster. I capture the hill.
My Hill.
(deaths=2)

wait when you say deaths=2, do you mean you are immortal and died twice already?

>no problem with ShadowGuy and 4 deaths