AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I had a lucky pen once that had green ink, and the outer part of the pen broke, so I just took the ink out and put in the outer shell of a blue pen.

Then I was all "Haha, nobody will suspect GREEN ink!"

innocent child, bored at my aunt's office waiting for my grandparents to get done doing businessy things. start messing around with my hands and realize that it's difficult to raise your middle finger apart from the other ones. after a while, i figured it out, and then i flipped off my aunt saying "look what i can do".

Fuck yeah.

I used to tinker with all sorts of stuff in class. Usually to make a new sort of death launcher in the ever ongoing "Shoot crap at each other" classroom war.

Tinker tinker tinker. If it had parts I could break it down into with my bare hands then in about ten seconds it was in pieces on my desk. And then commenced the engineering.

Once I was chewing on the end of a pen in elementary school.
I broke it and because of the way I was holding it it all the ink went into my mouth.
Thankfully there was a sink the classroom so I could run and spit it out.
I didn't swallow any of it but my tongue was bright purple for god knows how long after.

Are you me?

When I was 13 my twin told everyone about how I still wet the bed.
My twin can be really evil.

I did that too, to my father and step-mom. She was the devil, that woman. We were in the van, my father and step-mom in the front, then step-sis and I in the second row, and my brother in the back. So I was playing with my hands, found out it's difficult to raise your middle finger, so I did and was all, "Look what I can do! =D" My step-sister quickly forces me to put it down, while step-mom is giving me this death glare, and step-sister says "Don't do that! That means the F-Word!" and then I replied with, "Friend?". I think step-mom started yelling then.

One time I put playdoh in my ears.

My logic was 'I need something to block my ears so this loud noise isn't noisy'.
Had to go to the ENT doctor after discovering that one of them was stuck really far in my ear.

Remember those little lids they put on the old Gameboys multiplayer jacks? Yeah, I put one of those in my ear once

Wow. a lot of you guys ate weird stuff. I don't have any stories about me eating stuff as a child. (at least not anything I'm not meant to eat.)

Most of my stories are about me being antisocial, destructive and an escape artist.

My family however....
Sister: ate glitter
Cousin: ate weevil
Cousin: ate play dough
Second cousin: drank pine o' clean (that's a disinfectant)

This isn't so much 'dumb' as it is 'needlessly angry'

<story> We were all at the beach, and *two-year old (*not sure how old I actually was at the time) me was having the best day. When it was time to leave I just did NOT want to go anywhere and was kinda rustled when I was put back in my stroller and we were walking either back home or back to the car (I think it was back home, though). I was being a rustled-off baby when suddenly, out of anger of leaving the beach, I threw my (glass) bottle into the street, where it broke. I then started crying that my bottle was now gone and I would never get it back. </story>

I have more, because apparently I was a horrible demonchild.

When I was little I had hard core pica, I would eat absolutely anything.

list of harmful things

wax candles
modeling clay (red)
lighter fluid
tinfoil

I was also exposed to sex and bad words pretty early, so I would run off my mouth and say nasty things and not know what they meant.

Wait I still do that LOOKS LIKE I'M NOT SO GROWN UP AFTER ALL.

penis penis penis penis penis vagina vagina vagina

I never spoke ONCE

until I was 5

Everyone thought I was mute, and I have no idea why I refused to talk

Oh and I often chewed on my shirt a lot

Would you happen to have an autism spectrum disorder? Because that could be the reason.

Or you were just a kid who didn't talk