Hey guys, guess what?
CHAPTER 2, THAT'S WHAT!
Unfortunately, this is probably the least hilarious chapter. I almost wish I could skip it, but I can't.
Oh well, at least we can point and laugh at the bad art, right?
So, first, where have the Chapter title page thing. Let's see... those wavy lines probably represent... water? I guess that means the strange circle-things near this head are an inflatable pool device or something.
That's a really strange way to relax.
Now, the question is, who
is this strange long-haired man? He kind of reminds me of Sephiroth. I'm not sure why.
And here we have the first page, in which Brian discovers that Chris is gay. Notice how he says that he
guesses he didn't know. As in, he is not sure whether he knew or didn't. This shows
yet AGAIN how conflicted this character really is.
Chris then starts telling Brian about his ex-boyfriend.
Notice how, in the second panel, Chris appears to have a mustache, as well as a strange striped shirt. This reveals something we never knew about the character. After all, the combination of that shirt and that mustache can only mean
one thing: Chris is actually
French.
You must now read all of his lines in an over-exaggerated French accent.
In the second to last panel, Chris describes how they took Kung Fu classes together. However, in the picture, they are clearly figure skating or ballet dancing. Clearly, the author decided to show some of the
other activities Chris and his ex-boyfriend did together using pictures, as well as words, so as to increase the over-all level of detail in the story.
IT IS THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
And then they turned 15 and started making out.
Notice how Li takes his shirt off before making out, despite the fact they are clearly in a
school locker room and thus randomly getting naked and making out would clearly be frowned upon. This shows... something... somehow...
Okay yeah I admit I didn't really think that particular joke all the way through.
However, Li's parents are the type of parents to
disapprove of this kind of relationship! Because they're
Chinese, see? And those darn
Chinese are just so uptight and homophobic, after all! I don't see why those
Chinese can't just accept people by who they are instead of judging them by what arbitrary "group" they belong to, or their lifestyle!
I think I will start keeping track of how many groups this book stereotypes in an offensive manner. So far, we have Chinese.
Let's see how much this list grows.
Li went to Church every Sunday, and apparently always become very cold for a little while afterwards.
I'd probably act a little freaked out too if I had
GIANT MCMONSTERSON as my preacher. That man probably crushes houses as he walks.
The author of this book has no need for "facial expressions" or anything like that to portray the emotion and tone of characters! No, all she needs to do is draw them with the same face as normal, and then give the letters a slightly different font, and maybe throw in some wiggly lines going down their face that are apparently supposed to represent tears.
That will show everyone how the characters are feeling!
Brian is curious to why they broke up, because clearly Chris hasn't made it obvious enough that Li was brought up by an extremely religious (AND CHINESE) family that would hate their relationship and end it if they knew about it.
Li's incredibly-stereotypically-Asian-looking parents end up seeing Chris and Li facebattling. Being homophobes (CHINESE HOMOPHOBES) they do the only rational thing by IMMEDIATELY SHIPPING HIM TO CHINA.
That's right, parents, should you ever see your child doing something you disapprove, the only rational and reasonable response is to send them to the first random foreign country that comes to mind. Don't worry, it doesn't have to be permanent! You can just leave them there until you "decide what to do next", because rationally thinking about what to do next while your child is there is just
annoying!
After Chris finishes talking about Li, Brian quickly changes the subject. They decide to watch the film "Drunken Master". Chris tells him that this is a really funny movie, and that they will enjoy it.
This is the very next page:
No transition, no new chapter or anything, nothing like that. One minute they are talking about funny movies, and the next minute they are trying to see how far they can get their tongues down each other's throats.
Apparently "Drunken Master" was a euphemism or something. Didn't they only
just figure out that they're both gay? Did Chris
even know that Brian was gay? There wasn't any
hint of romance between them in the previous conversation. They weren't even
flirting with each other!
WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY MAKING OUT!?
Further down the page, we suddenly jump to Li's perspective. In China, Li decides to write a letter, having decided that it's "no use". He then writes a suicide note to Chris, which, if Chris is anything like me, Chris will find nearly impossible to read and simply disregard.
Li then heads to quite possibly the emptiest bathroom in the world to grow strange roots out of his arms. Perhaps he's using them to absorb the water? This is apparently supposed to kill him. Maybe he's allergic to water that he absorbs through his strange arm-vines? Or perhaps the water is poisoned?
At first I thought he slit his wrists, but then I realized that blood doesn't spread through water like that and that it was a completely ridiculous notion.
It's probably just
his superpower.
We then see Li start to ascend to Heaven as an angel. Apparently, heaven is located through a spider web, behind a strange gaping hole in a black wall.
Li starts to rise up and go to the afterlife. However, he doesn't make it, as his "blood is pulling him back". What is that supposed to mean, you ask? I... really have no idea. I thought he was supposed to be
losing blood? Why would it be
pulling him back? How would blood, a
liquid substance, be able to pull him at all?
Once again, these are questions that lack answers, reinforcing the atmosphere of mystery and suspense the book worked so hard to create.
Li wakes up in a hospital bed, pop flyin' because he wasn't going to hell.
I guess his blood pulled him back to life... somehow?
I find it odd that, when he thought he was going to be doomed to a horrible fate after death, he wanted to kill himself, but now that he knows that he'll go to heaven he wants to stay alive.
But
who cares about the poor depressed teen and his attempted suicide? We have some
make-outs to get back to!
Chris and Brian, despite the fact that they
barely know each other and haven't even implied that they were attracted to each other before now seem to be having sex with each other (after all, they are
clearly orgasming in the second panel). I'm not sure how they are doing this with their clothes on, though. And I don't think I
want to know.
Or maybe they just
really friggin enjoy making out. I'm not sure which is more troubling.
They begin to worry that they are moving to quickly (NO SHIT).
Brian tells Chris that he would like to get to know him better. Well, he already knows what the inside of his throat tastes like, so at least he's got a head start there.
Brian then calls Julie and tells her
all about his visit to Chris's house.
Apparently Chris regularly beats the shit out of people at school. What a good kid.
Brian is apparently developing superpowers of his own, as he clearly isn't holding the phone in the last panel. I guess he knew telekinesis the whole time.
AND THAT'S THE END OF CHAPTER 2!
Yeah, not exactly the most hilarious chapter. I never thought I'd be desperate enough to go for a sex joke (but COME ON did you see their faces how could I
not make that joke?)
BUT WE STILL HAVE THREE CHAPTERS AND AN EPILOGUE TO GO, SO HANG TIGHT!
...(oh god did I seriously just write "hang tight" someone please hit me)
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