AWKWARD ZOMBIE

NO DISTINCTION.

What's funnier than death?
It depends on what you think is funny.

Now that joke makes sense

How many loser liberals does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 10

#1 One to Blame the Republicans.

#2 One to hire illegal aliens to actually change the bulb, to make themselves feel good that they are helping the poor.

#3 One to go over the union by-laws to determine if they can employ illegals without disenfranchising minorities.

#4 One to hire a press conferance to stage a fake commercial about how Republicans are forcing illegals to do menial labor because they won't, show casing an anorexic ethopian struggling to climb a ladder with four malnourished infants on her back, claiming .."bush does nothing to help and ignores those in need "

#5 One to protest the use of electricity which comes from fossil fuels, making the lightbulb an evil republican global domination tool, and vow to raise taxes all SUV drivers for supporting terrorist, by buying gasoline and deisel

#6 One to hire Sandy Berger to shove secret documents , down his pants detailing how it was actually democrats that blew out the light bulb in the first place

#7 One to get lawyers to sue Bush for pain and suffering and lost productivity during the now National "Blackout" scandal, and start a fundraiser for helping morbidly obese fat women buy meat, and get free transportation, to the welfare office, and legislate God out of all schools and gov't buildings, because it isn't supportive of Islamic concerns.

#8 One to get Dan Rather to produce forged documents, by the Bush's kindergarten teacher, detailing how Bush, had ignored the signs of impending light bulb blackout syndrome, and so failed to prevent the people from evacuating New Orleans after he caused the hurricane to intensify by not signing the Kyoto treaty.

#9 One to get Al Gore to blame Republicans for global warming due to the waste heat produced by the excessive use of non green light bulbs produced by some company he dosen't have stock in , and campaign against drilling and nuclear power.

#10 One to go on another press conference to rebutt the Republicans claims, and accuse them of denial of the plight of madagascar millipedes for stating..."It's just a fricken light bulb, get off your lazy butt and change it yourself"

and just to be over productive...#11 three hundred more to evaluate the enviromental impact on the polar bears, and some obscure bacteria that lives only in south american caves filled with hydrogen sulfide.


There are a lot of variations, this one is oldish, Bush era.
Funniest when posted on Reddit or to other audiences full of liberal bigots.

A woman is giving birth. Once the baby pops out, the doctor picks it up, exclaims that it's a boy, and then throws it against the wall. He then run up and kicks it across the room and laughs. The woman cries out in terror, "What the fuck are you doing?!"

The doctor turns around and smiles, "Just kidding! It was already dead."

Why do dogs eat dog food?
Because cat food is for cats.

and I was too busy masturbating

How many puppies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.

What do you get when you mix green and red paint?

You get brown paint.

So a guy walks into a bar.
ow

so a guy walks into a bar
and he orders a drink

That was my first thought. I've painted too many murals.

What did the man who wanted to learn how to fart do?
He hired a tooter

What's worse than a dead baby in a dumpster?
A dead baby in 6 dumpsters.

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
I don't have sex with a pizza before I eat it.

You know, dead baby jokes aren't bad jokes.

They're funny.