AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Douse it in something that stings.

I'm sure nothing bad will happen wow that is a lot of blood.

It's too late for the easy stuff. Cauterize it with some gunpowder. Put an action figure in your mouth to bite down on.

There's something... poking out. And moving around. Like a tiny finger.

Am I molting?

You pulled a piece of flesh off, it's not going to be pretty underneath. Disinfect, put a bandaid on it, stop picking at it.

You should probably go to a doctor

You'll probably die now.

There's like an entire tiny hand poking out now.

It is waving at me. It just gave me a thumbs-up. What the fuck.

Douse in disinfectant, go to doctor. You almost certainly didn't get all of the root and that will cause one hell of a nasty infection.

But this is America. Hospitals don't take dust and pieces of string.

Well if that's the case, disinfect, get a bandage on it, don't do anything to mess it up

Jeez guys, I know post-wart etiquette, this isn't my first one.

One time I used a nail file to grind a wart away. The only thing more surprising than that was the fact that the remnants slowly disappeared on their own after that.

Exeres, are you hallucinating or something?

No, I'm just trying to combat the rampant seriousness of these responses with humor.

Although the nail file story is true.

Have you died yet?