Quote:
[12:36:42 AM] Catbread: I miss so many things that happen, wow. I need to start keeping up with the forum again.
[12:36:46 AM] Catbread: I have so many pages to read jesus
[12:37:04 AM] Catbread: Sure I could just read the most recent three but then how could I be sure I know everything everyone is thinking all the time?
[12:37:28 AM] Catbread: It's just too risky, time to spend the next week obsessively studying the entire backlog instead of studying for finals.
[12:37:35 AM] Mister Tibbles: you should read the mafia thread and see how I saved the town from Ron Paul
[12:38:13 AM] Cafall: since you last looked, there have been zero posts worth reading
[12:38:21 AM] Cafall: continue about your day
[12:38:47 AM] Catbread: but if I didn't read how could I know vealin got a d20?
[12:38:54 AM] Catbread: that's vital information for my day to day life
[12:39:24 AM] Mister Tibbles: watch: one day wry will be featured on who wants to be a millionaire
[12:39:38 AM] Mister Tibbles: and the announcer will turn to them and say
[12:39:55 AM] Mister Tibbles: "there's only one question left to go between you and the MILLION DOLLARS"
[12:40:08 AM] Mister Tibbles: the lights come down, the music sounds, everyone is deathly silent
[12:41:05 AM] Mister Tibbles: "The final question
for the million dollars
'On the forum of the popular webcomic "awkward zombie", username 'Vealin' did /this/ special thing. What was it?"
[12:42:36 AM] Mister Tibbles: "Was it A: rolled a d20?
B: made hilarious grammar mistakes in a roleplay?
C: posted pointless things about his day-to-day life?
or D: contributed to society *audience laughter*"
[12:42:57 AM] Mister Tibbles: wry's heart pounds
[12:43:06 AM] Mister Tibbles: they know only one answer can be the right one
[12:43:07 AM] Catbread: oh shit
[12:43:12 AM] Catbread: i
[12:43:16 AM] Mister Tibbles: the answer between them and lifetime wealth
[12:43:39 AM] Mister Tibbles: you can feel the tension in the air
[12:43:46 AM] Mister Tibbles: the audience is holding their breath
[12:43:56 AM] Mister Tibbles: everyone subconciously leans forward
[12:43:57 AM] Mister Tibbles: waiting
[12:44:01 AM] Mister Tibbles: for wry's decision
[12:44:17 AM] Mister Tibbles: the spotlight is beaming down
[12:44:24 AM] Mister Tibbles: it is unnaturally hot
[12:44:29 AM] Mister Tibbles: all cameras are turned on you
[12:44:41 AM] Mister Tibbles: "For one
million
dollars"
[12:45:06 AM] Catbread: wry shakes in the chair
[12:45:27 AM] Catbread: stray sesame seeds patter on the floor, the plink and crack of them audible in the deafening silence
[12:47:03 AM] Mister Tibbles: the announcer leans forward
[12:47:24 AM] Mister Tibbles: his gaze is piercing
[12:47:38 AM] Mister Tibbles: it's almost like he can see right through the nervous and vulnerable catbread
[12:47:45 AM] Mister Tibbles: "What will it be...?"
[12:48:03 AM] Catbread: and that's about when the safe holding the million dollars explodes! the rest of AZ's crack team of hilarious, witty blockbuster action stars has pulled off the heist. I pull off the hat I was wearing to cleverly disguise my identity as a nebulously magical bread animal and rappel out of the theater in the chaos
[12:48:20 AM] Mister Tibbles: the audience erupts
[12:48:27 AM] Mister Tibbles: everyone surges out of their chairs
[12:48:32 AM] Mister Tibbles: screaming and whooping
[12:48:45 AM] Mister Tibbles: tears flow from their eyes as they applaud and holler with joy
[12:49:11 AM] Mister Tibbles: the announcer sits back in his chair looking stunned and mildly assfrustrated
[12:49:17 AM] Catbread: we all take a bow before leaving in style and with various levels of hotness; unfortunately in the middle of being cool and rad no one remembered to actually grab the cheddar so I have to go back next week with a different hat
[12:49:31 AM] Mister Tibbles: perfect
Quote:
[1:56:25 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: lesbians are known for their burrowing skills
[1:56:39 AM] Catbread: I saw that on the discovery channel once
[1:56:44 AM] Catbread: that's why lesbians are my favorite animal
[1:57:00 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: so magestic when they hunt in packs
[1:57:34 AM] Catbread: did you know their courtship ritual closely resembles ours? it's breathtaking
[1:57:38 AM] Sun Ray Goddess Lolita: oh my god someone fucking quote this
[1:57:41 AM] Catbread: nature is beautiful
[1:58:13 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: when the dominating one spreeds her wiings and begins to click while stomping her perch
[1:58:35 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: i wish we could call for love like that
[1:59:54 AM] Catbread: they say if you set recordings of their mating dances to the finest of mozart and bach, they match up perfectly
[2:00:06 AM] Catbread: historians now believe every master musician in history wrote with lesbians in mind
[2:00:12 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: is there nothing a lesbian cant do
[2:01:35 AM] Catbread: it's surprising sorority girls still choose to get tattoos of dolphins these days, I would think lesbians were the obvious choice but perhaps they're intimidated by the majesty
[2:01:41 AM] Catbread: nature's most majestic creature
[2:03:12 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: i have a poster of when a famous lesbian photographer captured four lesbians chasing a wounded gay male out of a home depot parking lot
[2:04:00 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: they will do anything to protect thier kind they are such a pack driven species
[2:04:35 AM] Catbread: I've seen that photo, it was featured in Time's collection of priceless depictions of natural and modern history. The berlin wall, the space race, the first automobiles, and of course, lesbians.
[2:05:03 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: the fantastic thing is I believe lesbians were also the cause of all of those events
[2:05:28 AM] Catbread: Behind every epoch of human history, there's one or more lesbians. I am positive that's a real quote. I read it somewhere.
[2:05:53 AM] Zack: Lion King of Comedy: My father always said never look a gift lesbian in the mouth
[2:06:19 AM] Catbread: A lesbian in the hand is worth two in the bush.
[2:06:26 AM] Catbread: If you know what I mean.
[2:06:52 AM] Catbread: I mean that's it's wise not to risk what you already have on the pursuit of extraneous lesbians.
[2:06:58 AM] Catbread: That's a valuable lesson.
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
