AWKWARD ZOMBIE

[2:49:45 PM] Cori: [you guys know that trendy trend of looking up 'state' man does things]
[2:50:04 PM] Cori: ["Washington man uses baby as shield in police standoff"]
[2:50:28 PM] Beats Boy: [oh my god]
[2:50:36 PM] Beats Boy: [no washington man
babies are not shields]

[22:38:22] Sun Ray Goddess Lolita: i'm sorry my friend just opened his fridge and found the duct tape i was looking for
[22:38:37] Le Great Handsome Oppressor: duct tape
[22:38:41] Le Great Handsome Oppressor: in the fridge???
[22:38:44] Sun Ray Goddess Lolita: yes

[8:06:59 PM] The Willow Witch: Mal
[8:07:02 PM] The Willow Witch: my entire body
[8:07:03 PM] The Willow Witch: is PANK
[8:07:10 PM] Malum: what
[8:07:16 PM] The Willow Witch: I washed my hair for the first time
[8:07:16 PM] The Willow Witch: and I just
[8:07:18 PM] The Willow Witch: Im PANK
[8:07:20 PM] Malum: PFFFFFF
[8:07:22 PM] Malum: oh my go
[8:07:23 PM] Malum: d

Celestial Night Beauty Shoolis: if you have a gba emulator you should get the fire emblem games for that
Nurgle's Fist: I played them all
Celestial Night Beauty Shoolis: oh ok
Nurgle's Fist: I shipped everyone with everyone else
Celestial Night Beauty Shoolis: good
Nurgle's Fist: sometimes I shipped the same people together
Celestial Night Beauty Shoolis: ewan x ewan
Nurgle's Fist: Oh Ewan-chan, I love you so
Nurgle's Fist: Hold me and never let go
Nurgle's Fist: slurp slobber slurp

[3:15:16 PM] smilebutt: http://25.media.tumblr.com/c0b20c59cf9d ... o1_500.png
i don't feel like opening up proton's booty yet but look at that shit
[3:15:36 PM] smilebutt: that is hot as fuck
[3:16:20 PM] bitchpants: you can't say anything ever with proton's booty as the title without it sounding terrible and it's wonderful
[3:17:08 PM] smilebutt: yah i don't think proton's booty is open-able
[3:17:54 PM] smilebutt: could you imagine an booty that can be opened in general
[3:17:55 PM] smilebutt: i can't
[3:18:13 PM] smilebutt: probably some nasty shit in there
[3:18:32 PM] smilebutt: well maybe not shit unless you're opening the asshole
[3:18:44 PM] bitchpants: it's called a goatse
[3:18:53 PM] smilebutt: close enough
[3:19:12 PM] smilebutt: it's not like i know anatomy well

[11:16:48 AM] Knockers: So what were you before?
[11:16:52 AM] Knockers: I'm curious
[11:17:03 AM] Knockers: What did you do when you were Eres?
[11:17:11 AM] Knockers: Why are you an Exeres now?
[11:17:23 AM] Rake Sex Press: When I was an Eres
[11:17:30 AM] Rake Sex Press: Everything was rainbows and blowjobs all day
[11:17:54 AM] Knockers: Rainblowjobs?
[11:18:19 AM] Rake Sex Press: No, but those are fucking awesome
[11:18:21 AM] Knockers: You lived in the land of the Rainicorns huh?
[11:18:43 AM] Rake Sex Press: If you are insinuating that I got blowjobs from unicorns
[11:18:46 AM] Rake Sex Press: Don't judge me
[11:18:52 AM] Rake Sex Press: They are really really good at what they do
[11:19:14 AM] Knockers: Hey man no worries
[11:19:18 AM] Knockers: Jake's into it too

[Insert Finn] x Princes Bubble Witch OTP

Placenta Juan: oh so
Placenta Juan: the theater company I do shows with announced their new season
Placenta Juan: take one guess as to the first show of the season
KDarkness: uh
KDarkness: shit
KDarkness: uh
KDarkness: fuck
Placenta Juan: you're going to laugh
KDarkness: is it Into the Woods
Placenta Juan: close
Placenta Juan: ONE MORE GUESS
KDarkness: Sweeney Todd
Placenta Juan: you went close with composer but sadly no
Placenta Juan: SHREK
KDarkness: oh my god
KDarkness: oh ymmfddgod
KDarkness: i'm crying
Placenta Juan: AND GET THIS
KDarkness: are you donkey
KDarkness: are you
KDarkness: FARQUAAD
Placenta Juan: well auditions aren't until like
Placenta Juan: a couple months
Placenta Juan: BUT ANYWAY
Placenta Juan: IT GETS BETTER
KDarkness: are you also doing
KDarkness: SHREK 2
Placenta Juan: so that's announced at Gypsy right
KDarkness: what
Placenta Juan: Gypsy is the show we're doing right now
KDarkness: oh you mean it was announced at the show
Placenta Juan: yeah
Placenta Juan: well they announce the whole season and it's pretty shit
Placenta Juan: Shrek, Little Mermaid, Wizard of Oz and Tarzan
Placenta Juan: pretty awful right
KDarkness: >Shrek
KDarkness: >Shit
KDarkness: you will choke on an onion in your sleep
KDarkness: but yeah that's kind of meh
KDarkness: Wizard of Oz is okay
KDarkness: we did that and it was fun
Placenta Juan: I've done it twice
Placenta Juan: BUT ANYWAY ANYWAY
KDarkness: ahaha
Placenta Juan: so my friend Cameron and I are backstage and we're the only ones in the boy's dressing room at the time
Placenta Juan: and we're just like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME OH MY GOD"
Placenta Juan: so I am openly disappointed about the season and when people ask me about it I tell them I'm doing nothing next season
Placenta Juan: SO I GO IN TO AUDITION FOR HELLO DOLLY RIGHT
KDarkness: yeah
Placenta Juan: And I get a private audition because I had to like leave early and the director knows me so he was cool about it
Placenta Juan: So I audition and it goes fine
Placenta Juan: and then he says
Placenta Juan: "Ian I'd like to talk to you about something, it has nothing to do with THIS show though"
Placenta Juan: So I say alright
Placenta Juan: and for background I'm kind of like THE character actor at this company, Gypsy is the first show where I've played the straight leading man
Placenta Juan: so he says
Placenta Juan: "I have heard...rumors that you aren't auditioning for Shrek"
KDarkness: oh my god
Placenta Juan: And I tell him yeah it's true
Placenta Juan: And like he has that look on his face where you can tell he's trying to figure out the right way to say what he wants to say
Placenta Juan: so he says
KDarkness: shrek yourself b4 u wreck yourself
Placenta Juan: "I think it would...behoove you to audition for Shrek. Now I don't precast shows and you know that, but you're a very comedic actor and out of all the shows this season and the past seasons it really is like THE comedy show"
Placenta Juan: "So...think about it."
KDarkness: ph god
KDarkness: *oh
Placenta Juan: HE TOLD ME TO SHREK MYSELF BEFORE I WRECKED MYSELF DUDE
KDarkness: hahaha
KDarkness: tell him you'll audition as long as you can be Farquaad
Placenta Juan: My friend told me I'd make a great Farquaad
Placenta Juan: I don't know the show too well and what I've heard of the music I don't like too much but
KDarkness: just the idea is really funny to me
Placenta Juan: Shrek, Donkey or Farquaad
Placenta Juan: would all be interesting
Placenta Juan: THE PROBLEM IS
Placenta Juan: IF I GET DONKEY
Placenta Juan: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY IT
KDarkness: you have to be black
Placenta Juan: because like
Placenta Juan: I would want to play it not just Eddie Murphy
Placenta Juan: but
Placenta Juan: how do you do that
KDarkness: you could be depressed
Placenta Juan: "And...in the morning..."
Placenta Juan: sigh
Placenta Juan: "I'm...making waffles."
KDarkness: hahahash
Placenta Juan: haha hash
KDarkness: im laughing much harder than i should be
Placenta Juan: no thanks I do not weed
Placenta Juan: I could be Shrek
Placenta Juan: I could offer up onions to our great lord
Placenta Juan: I could BE our lord
KDarkness: haha
KDarkness: don't get too cocky
KDarkness: if you fly too close to the onion you will get peeled
KDarkness: Shrekarus
KDarkness: like Icarus
Placenta Juan: yeah
Placenta Juan: I gotta be careful I don't end up
Placenta Juan: playing ogre
KDarkness: oh my god

[1:01:23 AM] Mister Fancypants: You know, it occurs to me, Nintendo had the wii, and then the wiiu
[1:01:31 AM] Mister Fancypants: How long until they come out with the waiifu?
[1:01:51 AM] Yeili: bad joke
[1:01:55 AM] Yeili: you should be ashamed
[1:02:02 AM] Mister Fancypants: AND YET I REGRET NOTHING
[1:03:04 AM] Cafall: you'll regret it
[1:03:14 AM] Cafall: in the shadow realm
[1:03:17 AM] *** Cafall removed Mister Fancypants from this conversation. ***