AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, he acts the opposite of how he does regularly.

I wish for my own laptop.

Granted. But it does not allow porn.

(Granted, I don't watch porn)

You didn't make a wish.

I wish for Florida.

Granted, you get Flordia, but you burst into flames.

I wish that I got to watch this.

Granted but he ran toward you before he exploded.

I wish i could finish my book report by tomorrow.

Granted, but it gets the lowest grade possible. Your name was not even spelled correct.

I wish Angie could hear one more "MEEEEEEEEDIIIIIC!" from a demoman.

Granted, but I kill you and many innocent bystanders for wishing that upon me.

I wish I didn't have to go to Show Choir rehearsal anymore.

Granted, instead you join a choir consisting of only Demomen. The songs you are singing varies from the ever so famous "Medic, medic, medic" to the unforgetable "MEEEEEDIIIIIC!"

I wish I could travel back in time and manipulate my age.

granted, but you alternated to when your 80 years old and you get cancer.

I wish i had a book about how to paint walls.

Granted, but now you have to paint walls forever.

I wish that I wasn't in such a bad mood.

Granted, but now you are in Soviet Russia and in Soviet Russia, Doritos eat you!

I wish people like this story.

Granted. They like the story, and then they start plagiarizing it and it is plagiarized all over the world and no one likes it anymore.

I wish this awesome T-shirt wasn't so small.

Granted, But it is as big as a tent.
I wish I had...
Uh...
Magic?

Granted, but it's uhh magic, and can only be used seven times before you turn into dust.

I wish I could play TF2 now.

Granted, but your Mac crashes to the Spinning Beachball of Death.

I wish that people would shut the hell up about Swine Flu already.