AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I'm not cute; I'm freakin' adorable!

That would explain why my memory is so fuzzy.

my computer has decided that it can't handle anything anymore and it's been giving me scary memory errors, then crashing. no virus or trojans......sure hope my ram isn't shitting itself. but now im paranoid to play games or anything more intensive than netflix because i don't want to crash. again.

My mom comes up with a bunch of conspiracy theories that she believes in. They're usually pretty harmless, but now she's convinced herself that the reason the Jewish were in Germany in the first place was because they had been given nerve gas in Jerusalem that turned them crazy so the Jerusalem government sent them to Germany. And that the reason the nazis targeted them was because the nerve gas turned them crazy. I have no idea how she managed to come up with that. I'd almost rather her just be a holocaust denier.

Computer keyboard types so slow. It takes me a while to type. It works normally sometimes but slows down when you touch the keypad. If it's normal, I'm just gonna restart it anyway. It gives out after a while or by plugging it in. And none of the keys work when that happens. So when I just start a match or start turning in World of Tanks and the keyboard gives out...

I have to wait through the entire match or be sad that a good match was just ruined.

This reply took 10 minutes to type out using the "Touch keyboard."

Why did I read the comments ugh

So I'm joking aroudn with my coworker because I'm stuck on hold trying topdo my job.

and the fuckign lady who thinks she owns the place is now wriitng me up because I'm using "foul language on the floor"

Bitch, you are across tyhe room. Stop eavsdropping on my provate conversations. what I say has nothing to do with you.

Rule number one of working in a customer service setting: sunday school verbiage. ALWAYS. You never know who's listening, and there are a lot of fuckhead customers who fancy themselves secret agents out to catch you doing something you're not supposed to be doing.


also, fuck secret shoppers especially.

shit eating grins and yes sir/ma'ams for everyone except the cool bosses

i save the wall punching and neck wringing hand gestures for when im not being watched

My benefits dont kick in until december fuck me.

haha so i was driving on an almost completely empty highway in the middle of nowhere and was cruising next to an 18-wheeler minding my own business when he decided he didn't like that so he proceeded to try and run me off the road :) i was in the left lane so i was at a real actual risk of smashing into the middle guard and dying at 80mph because this asshole for whatever reason didn't want me next to him. and even if i didn't die it'd have taken ages for anyone to get to me because again, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

i hope you get your license taken away, asshole

"How's my Driving?"

"YOU ALMOST FUCKING KILLED ME"

seriously i started panicking so hard i just floored it and got ahead of him by a huge margin but i really wish i could have gotten a number to complain because holy fucking shit that is not ok

I've always hated the anime cliché where good things happen if you sacrifice yourself as long as enough people would miss you. Especially if you are a woman. I absolutely adore how Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo makes fun of this.

small children