AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I guess you don't know me, then...

the Kissingbugs have returned from their winter hibernation, and have started just popping up everywhere in full force. We've been spraying the windows with bug repellant which helps but I saw some of them just hiding in the cracks of the house near the doors, waiting for us to open them so that they can just slide on in. Hell I sprayed my one window in my room and one still just popped up on the wall right next to it a couple days later. Why won't they just GO AWAY

Mom got mad and started ranting when I went downstairs to make sure everything was okay after I smelled a lot of smoke and the fire alarm went off. She started yelling about how no one ever lets her cook.

I guess I'm not supposed to be making sure every waking moment of my life isn't at risk of bursting into flames while she is obviously not paying attention to the oven when she puts it on the highest possible heat settings.

I lost more points on grammar in my last internship report than I previously had lost in the entirety of my two college degrees combined
I have fallen

edit: so I have this big 2nd internship report to shit out for the still-unscheduled meeting with a teacher and my supervisor with a vague deadline AND the final report for next tuesday (so why even bother with the second one?? also both could very well fall on the same day because fuck you) AND NOW a teacher gives us the written exam worth maybe 100% that he promised he'd give us TWO MONTHS AGO, you know, before our internships started and we were all working full time during the day and writing pointless reports during the night? Gee, this really makes me feel like skipping one full day of work plus driving two hours to go to a restaurant I don't like for their stupid group dinner thing they stupidly insisted on scheduling a Friday at noon DURING OUR INTERNSHIPS instead of, I don't know, the next day or in the evening or after our internships are actually over so we didn't have to lose > 150$ for this shit. Also I have a census I am legally obligated to fill in and I have so many emails to reply to and I have to find a home for my turtle.

uuuuuugh my debit card is locked because someone probably tried to steal my info uuuuuugh

And the bank doesn't open till tomorrow morning so I can't call them till then and I'll probably have to get a new debit card uuuuuuuuugh

"They just hate anyone who disagrees with them!"
Probably because they based their ideas off of any amount of thought and you based your ideas off of realizing that you had a chance to argue with someone. Probably because disagreement is something you should do towards something because it's wrong and not because it's existent. Probably because "the sake of argument" doesn't trump the basic concepts of right and wrong. Probably because arguing isn't some situationally universal right that needs to be exercised at every single possible opportunity and protected in every single possible case. Probably because you value looking right and they value being right. Probably because if you valued thinking over disagreeing then you could start guessing anything other than the least likely thing to be correct and saying anything other than the dumbest possible thing you can say. Probably because if it's too much work for you to think then you can simply not form an opinion instead of quickly throwing together a contrary one.
Probably because you hate them just because you disagree with them.

Mom apparently didn't cancel her subscription to a website, so now we owe the bank $100 we don't have. It's going to keep multiplying until the bank gets it sorted out or we end up having to skip eating for a week.

It also put everyone onto "I'M YELLING AND STOMPING ABOUT UNTIL MY PROBLEMS GO AWAY" mode.

Yep gonna have to drive home and back to get a new debit card. There goes my whole day tomorrow.

It's 4 in the morning and all I can think about is Angry Thoughts About Bisexuality except I just want to sleep, please.

Augh the 2nd internship report isn't even due yet and we have to write a 15 pages report on every class in our degree and suck the administration's dick by telling them how much every pointless class everyone has forgotten about are totally helping us be better programmers and better people even though we never have and never will put anything from it in application. I'm able to bullshit my way through most* of it (that's one thing those pointless classes taught me) but WHY IS IT DUE ON TUESDAY when the second report probably won't even be turned in by that point (why make us do the second report in the first place), we have this written exam that the teacher conveniently forgot about for 2 FUCKING MONTHS so now it has to be done at the same time as everything else, AND the other extremely vague group project report that was also left in limbo for two months so now we have to pretend we remember what we did in this waste of a class back in February. Thanks guys, A+ foresight and coordination.

*except for physical education which was always the bane of my existence. At least they said we could be sarcastic, so I think I'll talk about how the constant humiliations helped me not have an oversized ego and how having witnessed and suffered from sexism, sexual harassment, homophobia and bullying from teachers has really made me able to recognize and speak against unacceptable behaviors in the office.

My stomach hurts, my left eye is leaking (allergies), my TMJ is acting up so I have a headache and tinnitus today, and my nose is running. Also, I have to work today. Please kill me now.

Fam's outta town and I left my phone at work. Need to get up early in the morning, no alarm to set. Kinda spooked being this alone with no way to contact the cops directly, sleeping in the living room cuz I'm scare.

Can't sleep, currently unfunny waste of space, time and resources with my coworkers and watching Best of the Worst.

aaaaaahhhh

I really wish my mother could do a single fucking thing in her life quietly.

Edit: I also wish she didn't act like if we get two of something at the same then the first one disappears, and would have just gotten another bag of rabbit food much sooner. I wish that when she got another bag of rabbit food she had went to one of the pet stores near us instead of ordering it online. I wish she didn't let the rabbit die.

I've decided that college is too expensive for me at the moment. I'm going to teach myself web development, build a portfolio, and hopefully get my foot into the industry and maybe do schooling part time afterward. I'm fine with this decision. My family (non-immediate family that is. My mom and siblings are supportive) however keeps talking about me behind my back, like I'm some sort of failure for dropping out and saying that I need to go back as soon as I can. Even though, bodaciously none of them even graduated high school (a couple got their GEDs afterward, but I'm bodaciously the first in my family in three generation to finish high school). Like, fuck, if they want to fork over the tuition cheddar, sure I'll go back, but I'm not about to put myself in an outrageous amount of debt. Especially if I can just teach myself for free. Sure, it might be a little harder to find a job at first, but once I'm in the door, it doesn't really matter much how I got there. Got me in a fairly bad mood right now.

I found a video on youtube that stole my pixar joke and monetized it, without credit. I'm so fucking angry about this, I hate that joke with all my being.