AWKWARD ZOMBIE

"Balls of steel!"

Does this mean Krom wins the scepter?

Like how most of your gold is carried on the mules, his is in a bank somewhere. Eh, but let's roll sleight of hand anyway. A total of 16, no one really pays attention and you can take some bubble-blowing soap water, to fill up your pipe. His checkbook is too big to sneak out of his pocket, and even if you got it, there's the whole process of forgery, etc.

You don't win the scepter, as the only part of that I read when looking it up was ball kicking, not the giving part. Besides, it was never agreed what to be bet, as far as he knew, he only lost his honor and feeling in his balls to you.
You can always sell a bunch of items before it comes time to pay for the item, if you bid.

I'll make my way back to the auction and see if I can't track down my fellow "shoppers". And did I get anything else from that chest?

"What's Big Green up to there, Miss Aya? He din' go farting in some noble's face agai...oh dear."

Bah, take his pipe and fez as a prize.
Leave the robe, Krom doesn't need woman clothes.
"Krom bid not dead man-guy! He have cheddar, he worth it."

Nothing else was in the chest, the search check revealed dust outlines.

You are now wearing another fez in addition to your previous one, and you also have a bubble pipe.
"The auction does not accept items or creatures, if you wish to exchange him later to pay for the item then make your bid."

Welp, since I can't take his cheddar I'll go back to dinkin with the mystery box. I'm gonna open and close it a few more times to see where else it opens up to. And if I find gopher man I'll yell at him to get out of my box.

Let's get a rollin' and see what places you find. Because I'm lazy let's just go with 10 different lookings for now.

1. A large body of water, doesn't look like anything is in sight.
2. A snow covered glacier.
3. Some nice grassy place, looks like there's a city to the west.
4. The middle of some city, doesn't look like the one you saw. All foreign stuff, all funny looking too. Not haha funny, the other funny.
5. Ocean, again.
6. A city, I won't roll for it, but determine for yourself if you'd recognize a city of your nation waaay south, a ways east of the capital.
7. Ocean. You can see a small island waaay to the SE.
8. More ocean, you'd think the planet was 70% water or something, but you can see land to the west, tropical land.
9. Ocean.
10. Another foreign city, with foreign trees, foreign people, foreign buildings, foreign rivers, etc.

You can stop and hold it at any of those spots if any of them interest you enough.

I take out my rope, tie one end to myself and the other to a solid object (pillar) or Krom and tell him to hold it, and ease myself down into the grassy area. I take a look around and especially at where I entered. ((Not expecting much.)) I then climb out, close the lid and think really hard about that grassy area and open the box again.

For the first part of your action, you tie Krom to a stone pillar and have him hold the rope for you as you jump in. You had plenty of time to make sure the rope is secure so no roll for that. You descend down 50 ft. It's a colder place here, and the sun is on the horizon. The hills are not alive with the sound of music, as it is relatively quiet. There are trees here and there, maybe some chirping now and then, but not much else at the moment. You can see a road nearby leading to the city. You easily climb out.
You think really hard on the area you just visited when you open the box again, it is just the next item on the list I mentioned, a foreign city.

Ok then. I proceed to go magic box channel surfing. I'd like to open and close the box in quick succession trying to see if any of the notable places already seen appear again in some cycle or something. And be on the lookout for anything like a giant pile of gold or a horrorteror about to eat my face kinda places. Just for future reference.

((I'm really just having fun with this box right now and if the party wishes to go somewhere or do something I can tie it to the bike/mule and we can be on our way. I'll figure out its secrets eventually. For Magic ))

Blanche examines the box aswell. (Spellcraft roll: 13+3=16)

Also, Blanche puts some water in the alchemy sprayer and fires it into an open area to get an idea of it's range, accuracy and spread.

I think I'm more or less done with the auction scene. I got what I wanted. Although I will offer the Wand of Summon Bear IV and potions of Explosive Runes I got earlier to either Shinsa or Aya, whoever decides they want/need them more.

You stop to spray water with your sprayer. It makes a 20ft cone of fast moving water droplets, like a hose with one of the thin nozzles. You then shoot it into the box as part of the spellcraft check, but the box is beyond mortal comprehension.

I really need a faster way to roll 4 numbers for each location. But, I suppose I'll skim through some more.
1. A tropical island with a volcano on it.
2. A really tall snow covered mountain.
3. Ocean.
4. Ocean, land barely visible to SE.
5. Ocean.
6. Wide open plains where the bunnalo are roaming. That is, bunny-buffalo.

Alright I guess I'm done with the box... for now. I load it onto my mule and hop on my bike and dink around till we do something.BTW how much does it weigh?

Houton stops looking at the box, and figures enough time for another bid has passed. "Sold, to the unconscious gentleman. Please come and pay for the item when you return to consciousness. That concludes today's auction, thank you and good day." He then taps the scepter on the pedestal, transforming it into the shape of a gargoyle, hops on and taps it again, then flies off to the mansion on it, shouting Wheeee as he flies.
People begin leaving, and the unconscious body of the mentlegen remains where you left it. It's also lunch, 1/3 ration from the sheet.

Anyway, let's examine those items you won.
The gold sniffing gophers that you did not win have standard gopher weight in accordance to monster manual.
The hover bike, I really hope you don't actually try carrying it and not the other way around, but it floats so you can't get an accurate weight from it anyway.
Mystery Box, it's weight is a mystery, even to itself. That said it feels about 2lbs.
I listed sprayer weight already, don't wanna repeat myself.
No one won the police cruiser but if you tried to weigh it I would smack you for foolishness.
Lightning sword: longsword weight.
Ring of No Visibility, weight: same as ring of invisibility, if it has weight at all.
Faberge Egg of Memories: I forgot.
Bubble Pipe of Sophistication: No one would hold it in their mouths if its weight was above negligible, so its weight is negligible.
Scepter: morningstar weight.