AWKWARD ZOMBIE

usually not funny
It is currently Thu Dec 18, 2025 8:36 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 876 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 ... 59  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:59 am 
Offline
Chinmaster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:54 am
Posts: 4350
Location: Chins
The other day I saw a house that was built mostly normally, but had a deck of cards.

I went into a Library/Hotel and asked if I could book a room.

A friend of mine owns a company that transports stuff by boat. His main customers are people who write erotic slash fiction. He's a leader in the shipping industry.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:10 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 7948
Location: Arville
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam..."
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"

_________________
Image
Kamak wrote:
Animal Crossing is the cruelest mistress of them all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:18 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:33 pm
Posts: 5647
Location: Califormania
Chinmaster wrote:
A friend of mine owns a company that transports stuff by boat. His main customers are people who write erotic slash fiction.

I think the joke would have been funnier if you just ended it right there.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:27 am 
Offline
Chinmaster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:54 am
Posts: 4350
Location: Chins
The establishment I frequent to get a few drinks is the best one out there, bar none.

Packaging companies gain superiority over one another in boxing matches.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:13 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:33 am
Posts: 8827
Location: The Inevitable City
Now those were just puny puns.

_________________
Image
Hug me


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:15 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 7948
Location: Arville
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in
his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says,
"I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and
it is served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with
the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plates like chrome for
the hollandaise."

_________________
Image
Kamak wrote:
Animal Crossing is the cruelest mistress of them all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:18 pm 
Offline
Chinmaster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:54 am
Posts: 4350
Location: Chins
Squigzog wrote:
Now those were just puny puns.


They are pungent examples of punitive punchlines

You might call me a pundit


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:24 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 7948
Location: Arville
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

_________________
Image
Kamak wrote:
Animal Crossing is the cruelest mistress of them all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:25 pm 
Offline
Chinmaster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:54 am
Posts: 4350
Location: Chins
My main mode of transportation is driving over the median, but the police can be kind of mean when they catch me doing that.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 4:49 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 7948
Location: Arville
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a
beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

_________________
Image
Kamak wrote:
Animal Crossing is the cruelest mistress of them all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 3:25 am 
Offline
Chinmaster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:54 am
Posts: 4350
Location: Chins
Apparently a form of vegetation has been discovered with features that appear to be eyes and noses and ears and whatnot. These features seem to be heavy however, as it commonly falls over under their weight.

I think they're planning to call it a face plant.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 10:21 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 7948
Location: Arville
Chinmaster wrote:
face plant.


Oh, god. I lost. This is best.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses

_________________
Image
Kamak wrote:
Animal Crossing is the cruelest mistress of them all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:04 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:33 am
Posts: 8827
Location: The Inevitable City
This page could be considered cruel and unusual punishment

_________________
Image
Hug me


Last edited by Squigzog on Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:30 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Posts: 7948
Location: Arville
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.


Also, Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall

_________________
Image
Kamak wrote:
Animal Crossing is the cruelest mistress of them all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 4:56 pm 
Offline
Chinmaster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:54 am
Posts: 4350
Location: Chins
I heard Dexter Holland's kid is starting a band

Guess its name


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 876 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 ... 59  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot] and 26 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group