AWKWARD ZOMBIE

How do frogs die ?

[spoiler]They Ker-mit suicide[/spoiler]

Or they just croak

I'm trying to think of the name of this one famous artist, but I'm drawing a blank

How are Jews and Pies different?


[spoiler]Pies don't scream when you put them in fires[/spoiler]

Baaaaa'wdfish

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

My firend said to me "Jeez there's nothing worse than being late, Dan"

I said "I know something worse"

"What?"

"The Holocaust"

A pun at maturity is fully groan

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".

I just met this guy who was recently initiated into an underground Sicilian criminal society made up of people from the cleaning industry.

I suppose you could call him a maid man.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle

Wooden computers are all bark and no byte.

its funny when youre walking down the street to walk into a guy in a camouflage jacket and go "sorry mate, didnt see you there"

EDIT:
Germany wins Eurovision then four days later an old WWII bomb explodes "unexpectedly".

Carlsberg don't do timely reminders, but if they did....

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.