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Dear world:
I have found, having been on both sides of the checkstand, as well as passerby, that checkers, as a general rule, are good at their job. They are generally friendly, practiced at what they do (having to stand on hard floors for eight hours a day, memorizing a couple hundred codes and lifting your heavy cases of beer while our feet are confined to about three square feet of space), and don't get a whole lot of pay to do it. If they were not good at their job, rest assured, the managers would make sure that they did not remain there. So if your checker appears to be in a bad mood, or snaps at you, chances are that it is because you have done something to deserve rage that they are managing to restrain. As I have been all three people (customer, checker, observer), I feel that a letter about this unhappiness is in order, since I have seen it from all three perspectives.
ON ENTRY AND TIMING
When you approach the little section full of checkstands with all their little aisles, and their little shelves full of sweet little candies and the little lights and countertops, you generally begin to make your selection of which stand to use. What is it that you use to make your selection? Because it apparently has nothing to do with the lights on the lampposts that are attached to the checkstands. Those lovely little lampposts so clearly labeled with the number of the checkstand that lights up whenever the checker is available, and stays dim whenever he/she is trying to leave. Do you know the ones? Because if so, you apparently choose to ignore them completely. When a checker turns off that light, that means that that checkstand is closed. That does not mean look up at it briefly and then plow right into the line, nearly running over the small child in front of you. It does not mean that it is time to run in as if it were a yellow traffic light offering you one last speedy chance at passing through. It does not mean that you get to stand there, wait for the checker to look at you, and then as soon as his/her face and shoulders drop in disappointment, look at him/her as though he/she were a complete moron for not having your best interests at heart. Especially not when those interests involve ten extra minutes of overtime that could potentially lead to disciplinary action for the checker. Rather, it means that the checker is attempting to leave, because it is the end of their shift, or it is their lunchbreak, which is the only time that they get to sit down and take sustenance so that they may continue helping you to the best of their ability. As such, it is incredibly rude to just do one of the previously mentioned breaches of etiquette that used to be relatively set in stone and well known, it is also horrendously shameful behaviour to just shove aside the barricade that is already our passive aggressive dig at the person we put it directly behind (as they were among those who did not pay attention to the light). Are you aware that when you do that, it makes the checker want to punch you in the face, set you in the checkstand and then demand that you give him/her pleasant customer service until they deem it an appropriate time for you to leave? So please, think about that when you decide to go and check out and interfere with another's time.
Along a time related topic, are you aware that many places have a system in order for ranking checkers? This system is time-based. Whenever we are logged in, that means that we are being timed for efficiency. When you sit around talking on your phone, or do something that prevents the checker from doing their job, you are hurting their rating, which may hurt their ability to keep their job. If the checker then is not deemed worth the paycheck, that means that there is one fewer checker when you get to the line. Which means the lines are longer, and it cuts into your time as well. So please, be considerate. Do not call for a replacement on something that takes ten minutes of dead time at the checkstand, when all it is is a doughnut that you were foolish enough to put into a bag so that the frosting got messed up. I promise that it still tastes just as good and is just as edible.
In accordance with your own hurry, be aware that the other people around you have places to go and people to see as well. Therefore, if you screw something up, it is generally unpleasant for the people behind you to have to wait for you to make the checker fix it. Just because you happened to see a sign that said $2.79 within a ten-foot radius does not make it okay for you to claim that the store marked the keg of beer at that and that you should therefore receive it at that price. This particular topic shall be remarked upon further in the conflict section. The fact that other people also happen to need to get other places means that it should be frowned upon for you to leave your ad crumpled up in the middle of the order with no particular direction implying that any coupons it contained were intended for use, wait for the checker to finish the order and get through half of the payment before you decide that it is time to announce that you had coupons and the checker is so clearly stupid for not reading your mind that you wanted to use them, or even which ones. Continuing with this example, it is also very inconvenient for the people behind you to have to wait for fifteen minutes while you make the checker go through each individual item while you decide whether or not you want to use a coupon just so that you can save $1.63 by the end of the transaction.
ON CONFLICT
As mentioned earlier, part of a checker's job is to remain polite and sociable to the customers. This becomes quite difficult when the customer behaves foolishly and claims that all their troubles of the day are at the checker's fault. You see, there are certain limits to what a checker is capable of accomplishing for the customer. Offering to check on sales for you, get someone to carry your groceries out, and giving stickers to your children are some of the things checkers are capable of doing. Refilling your welfare account, finding your keys, changing your outlook on life, and reversing acts of God are not within those limits. This means that unfortunately, while you would like us to give you your groceries for free when your EBT card does not go through, we cannot. Nor can we refund it to you in cash, when it is the state's cheddar until it is spent on pre-approved food items. Thus, it does not help anything when you throw your cart across the front of the store so that it actually catches air and almost hits a child, scream at the checker and then storm out and back in, harassing everyone on your way.
Also, when disputing the price of an item, if the checker seems reluctant to lower the price of an item to whatever you claim it to be, it is because our jobs rely on the store's income. If we risk you ripping off the store by claiming a false price, then we risk losing our jobs later on. However, if we check on it and something did get marked wrong, we will give you the lower price, as that is the store's fault. But you must first let us check on it. Throwing laundry supplies at the checker in frustration will not make them change the price for you. Should a dispute about a transaction occur, and the checker refuses to agree with you, the proper action is not to continue abuse of the checker, but to ask for the manager. If the checker actually is being unreasonable, the manager will straighten him/her out. I promise.
ON GENERAL DEMEANOR AND SOCIAL CONSIDERATION
What you do at home is your business. No one will argue with you there. But please, this is not just for the checker, but polite society in general. Some guidelines on how to be a pleasant person to be around. Okay, I might be a bit more worried about this than some, just because it is a sense that I tend to focus on quite a bit, but are you aware that when you do not shower, you emit an odor that may not be entirely pleasant to everyone? I understand skipping a shower here and there if you aren't really planning on doing much most of the time. But really. When you smell as if you just got out of a sweaty workout in a pig pen, there is a bit of an issue. If the people around you cannot talk without starting to gag, there is an issue. It really is not that much effort to shower daily. If you are leaving the house, then I'd recommend doing so.
When you bring your children into the store, do you want to be seen as the one with "that goddamn crying kid"? If not, it may be worth looking into to actually make your child behave in the store. As such, just letting them cry, pull things off the shelf, and put each other into headlocks while you sit there and text or just flip through a gossip magazine is probably not a good idea. Really, if a stranger has to tell your children to stop trying to kill each other, then you may want to reevaluate your idea of discipline.
Also relating to children, it is generally a bad idea to be an obnoxious jackass who uses the word "fuck" every breath. Most parents do not want their children picking these words up, and many adults prefer not to hear them. As such, unless you know that you are in company where that is acceptable, it is advisable to at least cut back a bit on the swearing.
And finally, following directions and paying attention to the world around you are great things to live by. It is really not that hard to just read the directions on the payment machine. Or when to go to customer service. Or the aisle signs. Really, if you can read any of the language spoken at the store, you should not need the checker to explain every little thing. Look before you ask where something is.
IN CONCLUSION
Getting a better checker and just having people in general be happier with you starts with your own actions. So, world. Care to quit being a rude old lady/negligent or abusive parent/ psycho guy/general fuckup? Thanks.
Sincerely, Kyra.
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