AWKWARD ZOMBIE

hot daisies, Kamak. You know your stuff.

Breads and baked goods are kinda my forte since they're moody bitches and you have to practice a lot to get things perfect. I'm kinda iffy on other things (namely peeling veggies, though I'm getting better!), but I know my way around a focaccia.

I also mix whole wheat and white wheat flour usually because the graininess of the resulting bread that's whole wheat flour is too unpalatable for me and the white wheat takes the edge off.

Also, despite what some TV shows say, never use whole wheat flour for a roux. You need the good stuff with the finer grains and plenty of starch to make the roux.

My cooking skills are generally limited to frying things until they become edible and either put them in a sandwich or mixing them with pasta. I CAN bake, but I havent done it in years, takes forever, and not enough payoff for the effort in my view.

Hello, AZ, This is your pilot, Riku, speaking. We appear to be experiencing some slight turbulence, so please remain seated and welcome to my tiny-ass kitchen.


Today, we'll be making something super easy, and relatively fast compared to the other things: Broccoli with Cheese Sauce and Smashed Sweet Potatoes. These are full of vitamins K, A, and C, B6, along with manganese and potassium. There are a whole host of other nutrients chillin' out in there too, but they're in smaller amounts. Broccoli is actually really good for your digestive system, including helping to reduce the effects of allergens, and making your body process vitamin D more efficiently. Meanwhile, Sweet Potatoes are particularly good for helping keep bloodsugar levels more regular, as well as being anti-inflammatory (think about these the next time you have trouble with taco bell), and potentially helping to reduce the effects of heavy metals. The Cheese Sauce is, well, cheesey. it has milk-related nutrients like protein and calcium, as well as the fat that is needed to fully utilize the sweet potato nutrients.


SHOPPING TIPS: A good time to make this is when you have a bunch of cheese you need to use, and when sweet potatoes are on sale (which, in the U.S. at least, should be pretty quick here, given the season)
===Buying frozen broccoli can be much cheaper, and doesn't really reduce the nutritional value, since usually all they do is blanch or steam it before freezing. Look for the brand (or lack thereof) that has the lowest cost per pound. You'll likely get more chunks of stalk in there, but when you're putting sauce on it, it doesn't really matter anyway (this is directed more at the people picky about their broccoli).
===Don't be afraid to buy large, 2lb or more blocks of cheddar cheese, even if you're living by yourself. Firmer cheeses last for a pretty long time in the fridge, as long as you keep them covered and mostly airtight. Don't try to freeze cheddar cheese, though. it makes the texture all weird.
===There are small amounts of milk in this recipe. Even if you don't drink milk very often, it's okay to buy a mid-sized carton instead of a smaller one (in order to get a better price per pint). you can just freeze it and (if the carton is cardboard) cut off the amounts that you need to use in cooking. or if you know that you will want some milk to go with something, just pull it out of the freezer and thaw it. the water content is high enough that especially if it's homogenized milk, the texture will be completely unaffected.



ESTIMATED COST PER BATCH: $8.50 USD

ESTIMATED COST PER SERVING: $1.25 USD

All costs are estimated with the idea that you look for specials, with the realistic consideration that not everything will be on sale all the time. Try to not just plan your shopping around your cooking plan, but have a few ideas, and select your cooking plan based off of what you see shopping (still bring a list, though. Just keep in mind that you can opt out of some things and get them later)




INGREDIENTS:


5 or so large orange sweet potatoes
1/2 cup of milk
salt
Cinnamon (optional)

1/4 cup of flour
2oz (1/2 stick) of butter
1-1/2 cups of milk
8 oz of cheddar cheese (shredded)
1 clove of garlic
1 shallot
Paprika and pepper

~3 lbs broccoli.






RECOMMENDED EQUIPMENT:
Medium Saucepan
Large Soup Pot
Large Chef's knife
Cutting board
Measuring cups
Whatever you're going to cook the broccoli in











Alright! First, wash off and chop your sweet potatoes into chunks. Leave the skin on, since it has a portion of the minerals and it also tastes good.






Dump them into the large soup pot full of water and boil them until they're soft and you can mash them against the side of the pot with a spoon.





In the mean time, while those are boiling, you want to get everything else going. put your flour into the saucepan and turn the heat up to high to toast it.






Stir it around to make sure it doesn't burn, and you should wind up with some nice, golden brown flour after 5-8 minutes.






While you're waiting for it to toast, chop up a clove of garlic


and a shallot






Turn the heat down to low, and drop your butter in, stirring it around so that you don't wind up with crust that's missing its fried chicken.





Once it looks kind of like caramel sauce, put the shallots and garlic in.





Pour your milk in





If you've got frozen milk that you're using, this is what I mean when I say "cut the carton". When it's frozen, the milk is still easy enough to cut as long as you have a heavy knife.





Once your roux and milk are all mixed together, turn the heat back up to medium and gradually add the shredded cheese one small handful at a time, waiting until each handful is almost completely incorporated before you add more.





Your potatoes should be done boiling at right about this point. Drain the water out, and put the remaining half cup of milk in.




They're soft enough that you can just mash them with a wooden spoon.





Add some salt to the sweet potatoes to bring out their flavor a bit more.





And add your pepper and paprika to the cheese sauce. It doesn't need salt. You'll notice that I add black pepper to pretty much any cheese or cream sauce, and I add paprika to virtually any savory food. Paprika has some pretty good nutrients if you eat enough of it, and its flavor can replace a need for salt.




At this point, you want to just turn everything down to low to keep it warm while you make your broccoli. If you bought frozen like I suggested, then you can just dump it in a bowl with a little water and microwave it for a few minutes. If you're using fresh broccoli, you're better off steaming it on the stovetop. But don't boil it. It gets all nasty and mushy when that happens. The broccoli should be a very bright green and fairly firm, but not snappy when it's done.



After that, plate it up. You can put a little bit of cinnamon on the sweet potatoes if you want, although it's hardly necessary. Try to remember that the cheese sauce is a topping for the broccoli, not that the broccoli is a container for the cheese sauce. Also, if you have bread that's starting to go stale (not moldy, just dry), spreading some extra cheese sauce on it like butter is a good way to go.
And enjoy!

Riku, I made your crazy grilled cheese sandwiches with Sailor Moon. They were amazing, but oh man they were so rich.

Oh, haha, yeah. I'm glad you liked them, though!

There a good substitute for broccoli? I cannot get past their texture.

Uh, Really any steamed vegetable will go well with the cheese sauce, I just like broccoli for the large amounts of K and A, since I don't have need of the hypo-allergenic qualities. Do you like Asparagus? It's more expensive, but it's nutritionally similar.

I don't believe I've ever tried asparagus actually.

Asparagus is wonderful, and it's so easy to roast up nicely in the oven.

The main drawback is the cost though.

I used to have a bunch of it grow wild on the edges of my mother's lawn, which was the last big patch of it (there are several small patches that grow in the family orchard).

And then my stepdad killed it with roundup.

Abandon all hunger, ye who enter here. And welcome to my tiny-ass kitchen.


So today we'll be making Spinach and Ricotta on Penne with Tomato Sauce! This one's a touch more expensive than some of the others (Not much more per serving than the previous week though), so it's possibly more of a dinner-with-friends thing. This one has an option to include half a sliced chicken breast per plate, which I did for the recipe photos, but none of the servings after.


SHOPPING TIPS: A good time to make this is any time you see Ricotta (and maybe chicken) on sale. The other ingredients store for a very long time, so you can accumulate them gradually as you see them on special.




SPINACH AND RICOTTA ON PENNE WITH TOMATO SAUCE

ESTIMATED COST OF LARGE BATCH: $10

ESTIMATED COST PER PLATE: $1 (+0.50 if you add chicken)



All costs are estimated with the idea that you look for specials, with the realistic consideration that not everything will be on sale all the time. Try to not just plan your shopping around your cooking plan, but have a few ideas, and select your cooking plan based off of what you see shopping (still bring a list, though. Just keep in mind that you can opt out of some things and get them later)




INGREDIENTS:
1 lb of uncooked Penne
Water
About 3 cups of tomato sauce (any kind you like)
3-4 cloves of garlic
1 yellow onion
~2 Tbs Olive oil
20oz Frozen Chopped Spinach
32 oz Ricotta

Oregano, Basil, Salt, Pepper

OPTIONAL: Chicken breast (about a half of one per plate)








RECOMMENDED EQUIPMENT:
1 large soup pot
1 frying pan
1qt saucepan
stirring utensils
Mixing bowl
Cutting board
Chopping knife
Collander










Alright. If you're making the chicken, you may want to get that started first, especially if it's frozen, because you're going to be cooking it on medium-low until the end.
put your oil in the pan.





Then the chicken.





Cover it so that the steam will help it cook more evenly, and then start on your pasta.

Boil a large soup pot full of water, and put your pasta in. Make sure that the water is boiling first, otherwise you risk having one stuck-together lump of pasta.




Start warming the tomato sauce in a saucepan on low heat.
While you have several things cooking on their own, make like a music student, and get to Chopin.
Take an onion that's about the size of a tennis ball, or a bit bigger, and chop it up. You might be wondering why I have an upside down pie tin over my frying pan. That's because I have one lid to share between the soup pot and the frying pan, and whoops, the soup pot already had the lid.




Pull up about 3 cloves of garlic and peel them and chop them. The most commonly recommended method is to pop the garlic beneath a knife by pressing it flat against the clove, but I find it's easier to just cut the little nubbly end and pull it off that way.







Add these into the frying pan (If you're cooking chicken, it will already be hot. if you aren't, heat the oil before adding the vegetables.)





Once your pasta is done, strain it




And then put it in some clean, non-starchy water for it to hang out until you're ready to sauce it.





Now that your large pot is vacant, chop up your spinach so that it will cook down faster and more evenly.




It looks like it takes up a lot of space now, but don't worry, it'll get reduced by the end.




Cook it on high to get it steaming. There will be enough water in the frozen spinach that as long as you stir it a couple of times, you'll be fine.






Once it's all warm and defrostified, dump it into the collander so that you can start sqeezing the extra water out of it. And I mean really sqeeze it. Until you cannot get any more water out of it.





It should look about like this by the end.





Check to make sure your chicken is done (if you're making it) and pull it out of the frying pan. Put both the spinach and onion/garlic mixture in the soup pot. turn it to medium heat.





Add your ricotta




And any of the seasonings you want to choose from:






Fold it all together and let it get hot.





By this point, your chicken should have had a few minutes to settle, ensuring that it's kind of sponged its juice back up so it won't be dry. Slice it.






Mix the hot tomato sauce with the noodles (drain them first, of course).





Stir the spinach and cheese mixture again, make sure it's all the way warm, and plate it up!

Hello, AZ. Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? If so, welcome to my tiny-ass kitchen.



Hey-o. Today we're crackin' out the breakfast loaf (or breakfast cake depending on what pan you're using.) This is something that my mom makes every christmas (one of the 4 days a year that she cooks, haha), and I absolutely love it. It's extremely easy, and also good for making the night before you have company over for breakfast.


SHOPPING TIPS: A good time to make this is when you have sausage and eggs at a sale price, also when you're going to have company over.
===Sausage freezes very well. If you find some at a really good deal, but you're planning on making this a ways down the road, buy it ahead of time and freeze it.



ESTIMATED COST OF BATCH: $8 USD

ESTIMATED COST PER SERVING: $0.65 USD (before any addons like salsa or sour cream)





INGREDIENTS:

1 Cup flour
1-1/2 Tbs Sugar
1 Tbs Salt
1/2 Tbs Baking powder
1/2 Tbs Baking soda
1/2 tsp ground pepper
1/2 tsp dried oregano


12 eggs (no that is not a typo.)
1 cup of milk

1 lb ground pork sausage
8 oz of cheddar or mozzarella cheese
4 oz cream cheese (or some other super soft, mild-flavored cheese)
2 roma tomatoes
8 scallions/green onions


SOME COMBINATION OF THE FOLLOWING:
8 oz sliced fresh mushrooms (I prefer crimini)
8 oz sliced olives (the mild black ones will probably work best, but sharper ones could work)
2 more scallions
1 more roma tomato
1 small can of sliced/diced Jalepeños
basil (fresh is prettier, but dried will still give you the flavor)
if you're feeling really adventurous and more e'spensive, chop up some bacon.


I'm using mushrooms, scallions, and dried basil






RECOMMENDED EQUIPMENT:
1 frying pan
serrated knife
cutting board
mixing bowl
whisk

2 largeish loaf pans OR a 13x9 cakepan. Because I have no loaf pans, I'm using a 13x9






Preheat your oven to 350, and then on your stovetop, start browning your sausage. make sure that it's in little pieces.





While you're doing that, chop up your tomatoes, scallions, and toppings as needed.




Cut the cream cheese into small pieces and shred your cheddar or mozzarella cheese.





Once the sausage is done, and has settled for a few minutes, you can dump it into your pan and spread it around to make a relatively even layer.





Layer in your tomatoes, green onions and cheeses, but keep the majority of the cheddar or mozzarella back for now.






Now it's time to mix up the batter for this baby. put all your dry ingredients into a bowl.





Stir them until they're a relatively homogenous mixture, and add your milk




and dozen eggs




Whip it all together and pour it over your sausage and vegetables. (it'll expand, don't worry)




Then add the bulk of your cheddar or mozzarella cheese and whatever other toppings you choose to the top.





Slide it in the oven for about 30 minutes





Once it's done, it should look like this





Cut it up and enjoy! If you want, depending on which toppings you used, it's pretty good with salsa and sour cream. Try a few different things to see what you like.

Ohh, that looks really good.

daisies gurl, I might be tryin that one too

Actually, what's up with the sugar there?