
"Very well. It was a dark and stormy night," said Joe.
"I was out for reasons, and I happened across Bud, who was carrying a shovel with him.
"He started talking to me about lots of meaningless things, and walked with me as I headed home.
"However, a lightning strike startled him and he fell over, dropping his shovel into the river, and causing a knife to fall from his pocket and onto the ground.
"We both stared at the knife for a second, and then we both sprung for it, with him saying that he would kill me before I could kill him, and then we both had a grip on the handle, him having a clear advantage with his paws versus my wings, and I quickly found myself losing the struggle.
"However, all that rain and mud that had gotten on the knife had made it super slippery, and it slid right up into the air, and when I made a motion to cast it away...
"I had unintentionally backhanded it into Bud's eye.
"He fell to the ground after screaming, and I presumed him to be dead.
"I thought up a plan to bury his body, as that would prevent anyone from finding the corpse, and I wouldn't have to deal with a situation where I would have to fight eight people collectively for the right to survive.
"I looked for the shovel he was carrying, but he dropped it into the river, and it was too dark to see.
"So I ran back to my house to find another shovel, and when I found one, I came running back to the scene of the crime.
"To my surprise, Bud's body was gone! Someone had dragged it away.
"And so, I went to bed."