AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Tell him that it's Dinosaur Remeberance day. Ask if he's phoned any relatives, this is a day that should be shared.

If this doesn't work, insult him viciously..

"I'M SICK OF TALKING TO YOU, SO MY ANSWER WILL BE BRIEF AND CONCISE: BECAUSE I HATE YOU."



You feel that "begging" would be a little pathetic, even for you, and it would probably break your badass streak. You still let him know that he isn't a good villain unless he tells you his plan. He laughs. Well, actually, the computer voice thing says "HAHAHA", but that's close enough.

"IS IN NOT OBVIOUS? I WISH TO HAVE DOMINATION, DESTRUCTION, AND REVENGE. SURELY, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PIECE THIS TOGETHER BY NOW. BUT ENOUGH OF THIS TALK. I BELIEVE WE WERE HAVING A BATTLE."

He then proceeds to grab you in his jaws, toss you into the air, then jump up and do a flip so his tail slams you into the floor. This causes the dent to become even bigger, and you take 136 damage.



You figure that, since the Spy kind of looks like a daring thief (a little bit), it would be at least a little bit filling for you to quote him. Even if it's completely out of context and makes no sense in your current situation.

You jump way higher than anyone should realistically be able to, and head right for his eye. Your knee connects for 93 damage, and he is sent wheeling backwards from the force of the blow.



Well, the "laser gun" is attached to the "palm" of his "hand", so he isn't exactly going to be "whipping it out". You figure you might be able to get a better shot at it this way, so you commence the shooting anyway. He quickly begins frying the bullets with his laser. You aim well, and fire. Everything goes in slow motion as the bullets heads to its destination. It is a direct hit! The device explodes in a electricity and laser filled "kaboom"! The Doctor roars out in both surprise and pain. He takes 231 damage.



You quickly resort to the fetal position for no real reason other than the fact you seem to frantically switching between being an ridiculously awesome badass and a little crying baby. However, just as you finish curling up, The Doctor knocks you into the air. Thanks to the position you are in, the damage is reduced, and you only take 31 damage. You then quickly uncurl in midair, and end up accidentally kicking The Doctor in the face in the process for 29 damage.

You decide to pretend that was all on purpose and hope no one notices.



PROTOCOL INiTIATED.

YOU ARE NOT REALLY SURE WHAT THAT PROTOCOL 23 IS.

YOU END UP JUST STANDING AROUND LIKE AN IDIOT TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.



You quickly take out SECRET ORDER 66, which you totally had with you this entire time. You then take your revolver and shoot it a bunch of times. You feel bad, but rules are rules, and it was scheduled for execution right now.



You consider annihilating all humans, but figure that it would be a pretty stupid idea considering you are one, and you heard suicide is very bad for you, and sometimes even fatal.

A better alternative would be "DESTROY ALL DINOSAURS". In fact, you'd say you rather like that one.

A lot.



The Doctor, who was actually in the process of charging at you to smash you a good ways, stops.

"RELATIVES YOU SAY? RELATIVES? I HAVE NO RELATIVES. NOT ANYMORE, AT LEAST. OR ANY THAT I KNOW OF. I MIGHT HAVE HAD SOME, A LONG TIME AGO. OR AT LEAST IN A SENSE. NONE THAT WERE ALIVE AT THE SAME TIME I WAS, AT LEAST..."

He seems to be momentarily distracted and deep in thought. You consider attacking while he's off guard, but then he snaps back to reality.

"... IT DOESN'T MATTER, ANYWAY. I HAVE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT. OR, IN THE CASE OF DEALING WITH YOU, FAR LESS IMPORTANT THINGS. BUT, IMPORTANT OR NOT, THESE THINGS MUST BE DEALT WITH."

He then starts charging again and smashes or a good ways. You take 83 damage.



You let loose a barrage of incredibly unkind words. All sorts of profanities and insults are yelled at the top of your lungs.

The Doctor doesn't seem to mind, though. In fact, you'd say he seems pretty entertained by it.



You toss the last of your BLOODIED LINT on to the increasingly large dent. The Doctor, unable to resist his instincts (which you are not even sure T-Rex's even have), dashes over to the scent of blood. He ends up tripping on the dent. Although it still doesn't break, the dent gets much larger, and, due to his momentum at the time, The Doctor flies a good ways. He takes 95 damage.

The Doctor stands.

" ALL RIGHT THEN. IT SEEMS I HAVE UNDERESTIMATING YOU. IT MATTERS NOT. I AM PREPARED. ALTHOUGH, I NEVER THOUGH ONE LIKE YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO DRIVE ME TO SUCH EXTREMES."

The Doctor walks a small ways, and the floor (ceiling?) opens up. He jumps in.

After a short while, he rises again. Except, not just him. Along with him, there is a giant, presumably combat-oriented bipedal humanoid robot. That he is piloting. It sort of looks like one of those "gun dumb" things those weird nerds are always going on about. His head sticks out of the top, and almost looks like it's the robot's head.

"THIS IS WHERE IT ALL ENDS FOR YOU. LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: AT LEAST YOUR DEATH WILL BE INTERESTING"

The robot points its arm at you, and the first slides backwards into the arm, only to be replaced by a gatling gun. It begins spinning in preparation to let loose a hail of painful bullets.

You should probably do something about that.

INVENTORY:
BUSINESS CARD, DICTIONARY, INFINITY REVOLVER, MOP, PIPE, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, VARIOUS SNACKS (3)

EQUIPPED:
HAT, NAMETAG, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, WORN-OUT PENNY

Question how the hell you missed the giant robot. It was right there behind the meat. How could you be that stupid.

Anyway, he probably didn't solve the frost problem. Wait for his suit to freeze.

MATRIX

Use your ninja star BUSINESS CARD technique to jam that robot.

shoot it repeatedly like you did with scrambolini's robot

GOLDEN FURY

DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT DIVINE PUNISHMENT

Throw your dictionary at the dent

Sing "We will rock you" on the dent.

It probably had something to do with the fact you entered through the back of the ship, while the area you are fighting on is on the front of the ship, in front of the cockpit.


You once again toss your BUSINESS CARD in the direction of The Doctor. Or at least the robot he is piloting. Same thing, really. It simply bounces off. It still boomerangs back to you, though. It seems to be magic that way.

Also, he opens fire with the gatling gun. You take 212 damage. You really should have tried to do something about that.



You attempt to shoot at it a bunch of times, like way back when you were fighting that security bot. The bullets simply bounce off.



You quickly attempt to urinate on the robot. You figure it might rust or something that way. Unfortunately, you are unable to pee. It's probably because of that urinating you did earlier.




You toss your dictionary at the dent. It lands with a loud "THUD". The dent grows even larger.



You stand on the dent and begin singing "We will rock you" as loud and annoying as you possibly can. The robot then points it's other arm at you and fires a laser. You jump out of the way, and the dent grows even deeper from the laser's impact.

The robots chest then opens up, and a large amount of missiles come flying out. They seem to be heading toward you.


INVENTORY:
BUSINESS CARD, DICTIONARY, INFINITY REVOLVER, MOP, PIPE, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, VARIOUS SNACKS (3)

EQUIPPED:
HAT, NAMETAG, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, WORN-OUT PENNY

Insults didn't work, eh? Then compliment him.

Also, try to shoot the missles with the infinity revolver. And if his chest is still open, shoot him there.

Attack it's weak point for massive damage.

Colossus Climb.

If that doesn't work, Brown Rage.