AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, but you have to wear spandex.

I wish I could learn how to make a sword.

Granted, but all your sowrds are stolen and you forget how to make them.

I wish these assholes that SKBT is apparently related to would go away.

Granted, but I start inviting MY FRIENDS.

I wish for a beret that fits.

Granted. Now your pants don't.

I wish I wasn't constipated.

Granted, but now you shit out your entrails.

I wish I hadn't been in an all boys school.

Granted, you are a girl in a All-boys-except-one-girl-school. In Norway!
And these Norwegians are studying to be vikings.
You get raped. Hard. Very hard.

I wish the norwegian school system did not have so much religion in it.

Granted, but now it has a lot of piranhas in it.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

Granted, but you got caught by some fisherman.

I wish I had wings.

Granted, you lose your legs.

I wish there was a floating city.

Granted, but you require a Squire's toenail to gain entry.

Oh-hoh

I wish I could make a bitch obey.

Granted. You buy a trained female dog.


I wish for a racecar. Or a taco cat. Or a Girafarig.

You get all three, but soon realise that getting them instantly puts you in massive debt.

I wish for onions.

Granted. But it is actually your own balls disguised.

I wish for Angie to be done editing.

Granted, but she made whatever she was editing completely different from the original idea.

I wish I wasn't such a douche in my other account on this site.

Granted. You are now a douche on THIS account. Whups.


I wish my thighs weren't so disproportionately huge/fat compared to the rest of me.

The rest of me is so frickin' SKINNY! Why do my thighs have to be so huge and gross?!