AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Dear Lord it feels so weird flirting with a girl on Skype

Especially when you know that she is actually flirting back

Oh my God I'm probably going to lose my virginity this weekend

Easy, cowboy.

Just be sure to keep the spaghetti in the pants, bro.

Skype's prime real estate for that shit going down.

Skype seems really easy for me. She cant see me.

I can lose my spaghetti and she will be none the wiser.



I don't think that I'm being unrealistic.

There's been dirty talk.

Careful though, dirty talk is different from "fuck me"

Yeah, I was gonna say, you'd better be absolutely sure otherwise things are gonna get awkward.

I feel like a complete idiot right now.
I have to stop having feelings for other people. All I do is get hurt.

Sandwich, that is pretty difficult and annoying. The only thing you can do though, is to make absolutely clear how you're not interested and he should not do anything that makes him think he will get with you.

For a while was thinking, "Yeah, Sol's probably right"

But just a few minutes ago my roommate came up to me and said he was going to be gone for the whole weekend.

I've got the room to myself all weekend.

It was like a sign from God.

Sounds like a perfect setup for your roommate to come home early and have a hilarious romcom moment that spoils the mood.

I highly doubt it.

His brother is getting married.

So he SAYS

Wordsmith: "Let's say we make this a little more...horizontal..."
Audience: *OOOOOOH!*
Her: "Oh yeah baby, let's coitus~"
Roommate: "OOP forgot my toothbr-AHH WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!"
Audience: *laugh track*
Wordsmith: "ROOMMATE!"
Roommate: "WORDSMITH!"
Her: "MR. NUBBINS!"
Mr. Nubbins: *dancing*

I LOVE IT!

Was going on dates with two different guys, decided to end it with one of them and focus on going out with the other.

Quite the change from lieing on my friends couch, drunk, crying that no one will love me.

aw well nancy i hope your dates go well!

idk i mean i had a kind of long distance thing going but it's not really there anymore as the messenger we used stop working so like yeah idk