Bad Jokes

Fooflyer · **Posted:** Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:20 am

it's funny because you just sort of forgot the lead up to it so you wrote what you knew and then BAM punchline that doesn't make sense

Invisible Queen · **Posted:** Fri Apr 09, 2010 6:11 am

Generally, no part of the joke makes sense in context with any of the other parts. So it's a bad joke. And that's the joke.

WouldYouKindly · **Posted:** Fri Apr 09, 2010 6:37 am

To all new iPad owners.

When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment.

WouldYouKindly · **Posted:** Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:44 am

I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time.

It was carnage

BANANA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:32 pm

Gwen Stefani went to her doctor due to stomach and bowl troubles.

She is quoted as saying, "My shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."

Trygve · **Joined:** Sun Sep 13, 2009 4:57 am **Posts:** 14015

Vhat letter is not in the Icelandic alphabet?

[spoiler]C. Ve ask for cash but all you ask for is ash.[/spoiler]

Doormaster · **Posted:** Mon Apr 26, 2010 5:22 pm

What do you call it when you donate cheddar to help buy furniture for low income people?

Chairity

Explotaro · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:06 am

Quote:

I got two bad jokes:
Hannah Montanna and the Jonas Brothers.

Okay, really though:
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head.

I don't know.

Not Malum · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:17 am

BAAAAAAwD JOKES THREAD.

Xeraphem · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:32 pm

A doctor and his wife are about to have a baby, and the doctor invents a machine that would transfer the pain responses to the father instead of the mother because she can't bear the thought of labor pains.

Well, she goes in to the delivery room and the guy hooks up the device and just begins waiting. Half an hour has gone by and nothing's happened. The doctors say that it'll be any time now before the delivery actually begins, so the guys just been bracing for an incredible amount of pain this entire time.

While he's waiting a lot of people come to congratulate him for the machine and the baby on the way. Even the mailman came and left some roses and a card. The nurses come in as soon as everyone leaves and says that the dilations have started and the baby would be crowning soon.

The guy continues to grip the edges of his seat, and just stays that way for the next three hours. When the head nurse comes in with a little blue blanket, the doctor is perplexed. "Did my wife have any pains during the birth?" he asked. "Not since you turned on the machine, no." She stated and then left to put the baby in the nursery.

"Well, I don't see what the big deal was, I didn't feel a thing." He thought as he kicked over the machine. About that time the head nurse comes back in screaming. She gets him to follow her down the hallway and straight to the mailman, dead in the hallway.

Not Malum · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:39 pm

I saw that coming.

Blubber · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:41 pm

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

[spoiler]Because he was stuck in the chicken.[/spoiler]

Firestorm · **Joined:** Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:38 pm **Posts:** 5421

Why are fat women so good at blowjobs?

[spoiler]Because they're hungry.[/spoiler]

WouldYouKindly · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 2:51 pm

I can't see an end.
I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore.

[spoiler]Definitely time for a new keyboard.[/spoiler]

Doormaster · **Posted:** Thu Apr 29, 2010 4:57 pm

I make it a habit of robbing this one farmer
I've really got his goat

One of the car valets in my area is named Peter Parker

Do music students take notes?

So this author was walking down the street while trying to beat a bad case of writer's block. Out of nowhere a streaker runs by him. Suddenly his writer's block is gone; he's had an idea!
I suppose you could say he's had a flash of inspiration

What do you call a kind of house that is very hard to break into?
Sure-lock homes

AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Bad Jokes

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