AWKWARD ZOMBIE

You're always clapping, you're just putting a lot of space between the claps most of the time

Taken from Betrippin's facebook:

"You are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat."

Walking is a long series of controlled falls.

I misread "falls" as "farts" and got mental images of someone being propelled along by farts

I am a mature and responsible young adult

People who share grandparents are cousins

People who share great-grandparents are second cousins

It is believed that everyone on Earth is at least (or at most, not sure which would apply here) 50th cousins of everyone else on Earth.


For this next one, I would not suggest reading it if you happen to know you are sterile and cant have kids. It will just make you feel depressed.

If you dont have kids, you will be the first in your ~3 billion-year genetic line not to have, going all the way back to the first living thing on Earth and by nature's standards you are a genetic failure.

When you get unreasonably (as in not sleepy or sick) tired or fatigued, that's because you from the future traveled back in time to the exact point you feel tired at. The universe doesn't know how to handle having two of the same thing in at the same time so one of them (the less active one, which is more than likely you because if future you traveled in time they're probably up to something) ends up going "null" for the duration.

Shit, I was gonna post something like this, except along the lines of those stories where somebody gets their memories erased after the big adventure they had.

Like, think of it. You see the end of that sentence I just made? After you read that, you just went on a magical journey where some magician teleported you to another universe where you had all sorts of wacky adventures, and then to protect their secret, you were placed back in your room at the exact same moment with your memories erased. And now you're reading this post considering this theoretical idea as if you've never left.

This could also be applied in another sense. Like, for example: The universe, and everything in it, only began once you started reading this paragraph. All the atoms in the universe just happened to appear suddenly in the formation that makes this current situation, along with all the memories in your head of what supposedly has happened before that point. Like, you obviously don't believe it to be true considering you JUST experienced reading through the rest of the thread, except you can never be sure that it's actually something that just happened. So considering that, does it really matter that the universe started 10 seconds ago?

Consciousness is a weird topic.

Sorry, I just found that unreasonably funny

I have a hypothesis about yawning. One of its purposes is to turn off manual breathing, to restart the automatic thoughtless breathing you need.

1 cubic centimeter of sun, puts out less energy than 1 cubic centimeter of human.

There is this story called "The egg" that brings up a very interesting point.

The egg

Basically, it says that reincarnation is not limited by time. You could die today and be reincarnated as a Chinese peasant girl from 540 AD.

It then goes on to use this logic to say that we are all the same person, reincarnated at different times. We are Abraham Lincoln. We are John Wilkes Booth, we are everyone who has ever existed and will exist.

I remember that 4chan thread.


wait...

Reminds me of that novel where the man was his own mother, father, and everyone else in the bar at the same time because of time travel shenanigans.

Teleportation does not transport you from one place to another, but kills you, then creates a perfect copy of you in another location, one that has all of your hopes and dreams and memories, and even thinks it's you.

I'd rather FAX myself, thank you.