AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Id be more than pop flyin' to offer my services in the future. Just get me an earpiece and a two-way tranciever and repeat EVERYTHING I SAY.

What could possibly go wrong?


But. You already know my stories you dork. Youve stayed up waiting for me to come home from dates.

Hmmm, dating story...


Once I took my ex to the Minnesota Zoo because she hadn't been there since she was a kid.

We spent 2 hours walking around bored and eventually just went back to her house and played the SNES

Best date right there. SNES is the shit.

So if you keep up with my shit you'll know that my current girlfriend disappeared for a few months and then came back a couple weeks ago. I feel as if nothing has changed and that she never disappeared; is this a good sign? If it helps we were very pop flyin' together before she fell out of contact, we even exchanged the L-Bomb. Meaningfully and after a while of relationship, not in a fit of whimsy.

I hope she gave you a good explanation for her absence.

ok so dating history

when i was 15 i dated a boy who was 13 1/2, he was a nice kid but goddamn was he stupid and socially awkward. my sister and her friends made fun of me for it. we dated for like a month and a half and then we broke up but he was in love with me for a really long time after that and it was awkward. he dated another girl while still in love with me and he kept calling her my name (super awkward) but didn't break up with her for a while b/c he thought she would kill herself b/c she was suicidal anyway. they did eventually break up and he dated this other girl, she was super fucking crazy, they met at a con and she would send him pictures of her tiddies and be super sexual with him, she said they had to have sex before her lesbian friend raped her (???), and would say things like if they broke up she would kill herself. as far as i know she never did kill herself. we're still friendly w/ each other if we see each other but otherwise don't really talk.

and then there was The Love Triangle. so when i was still 15 on the last day of school i got a different boyfriend and he was socially awkward too (i don't think anyone i've ever dated has not been socially awkward) but he was funny and also hot. so my ex is still in love with me, and he's super broken up about this, he wrote me an emo poem it was awful. anyway things are going good w/ me and the boyfriend for a few months, though i'm a complete dumbass and won't shut up about him. but it turns out a good friend (at the time) is totally in love with me (oops). the timeline is really fuzzy here but basically i'm a dumbass, i love Tuxedo Mask, she loves me, she hates Tuxedo Mask, we have some seriously nasty fucking fights about it. also she is an abusive cunt and i hate her, but that's not until later. i have a ~livejournal~ and i'm dumb and tmi and she sends me anonymous messages calling me a slut and god i fucking hate her ugh. anyway. so then i realise i love her too at one point (double oops) and shit's rocky with the boyfriend b/c i'm fucking crazy at that point and he's emotionally unavailable.

one time i gave him a blowjob but then he kicked me out of his house b/c his friends were going over.

anyway. so me and the boyfriend dated for about a year and a half, and during that time a lot of shit went down. so i'm in love with him and my best friend at the time and then there's this other guy i have a little crush on. he's a really nice guy and he's funny and he gives me attention where Tuxedo Mask does not. so we flirt b/c i don't think he has feelings for me but later it turns out he does (triple oops). so anyway it's like a love square now, i'm super crazy, boyfriend is emotionally unavailable, best friend is really mean to me, and boy is ok.

so either way eventually i hit 17 and the same shit's still going down. boyfriend is off at college and that's making things harder b/c he's all the way in wisconsin (i live in california), things are getting worst with best friend and things are getting pretty awkward with boy. he definitely has a crush on me and everyone says i'm leading him on and he's getting really touchy feely with me. we hang out a lot b/c like none of my other friends like me b/c i never shut up about the boyfriend and the boy's parents are abusive and drunk and a lot of times he gets locked out of his house at night and has to stay over with me. but touchy feely-ness is reaching a crescendo and i talk to a school counsellor about it and she tells me to say no to him, which i do, i pull him aside on several occassions and tell him to stop. either way he ends up raping me and everyone i tell about it doesn't care and i never spend time alone with him again. during this still having issues with boyfriend and best friend is still being an abusive cunt and in november boyfriend breaks up with me.

cut to "oh i still love him waaaaaaaaah" bullshit and he breaks up with me over im which is hell shitty, and best friend and i, shit is just getting worse and worse. anyway best friend and i do end up dating and it has it's good times and it's awful times, we date for a little over 2 years but break up but still remain best friends. i'm in love with her for a bit oh well.

get a new girlfriend, date her for about 4 months? we break up, she's a bitch, also i hate her. then i'm in love with ex girlfriend for like a whole year after, it's embarrassing god, she's still an abusive cunt and we have a totally codependent relationship.

i'm no longer friends with first ex girlfriend which i am glad about. also more recently i had a crush on a friend, he didn't like me, oh well, it fizzled out and we're fine. i'm in love with one of my friends and i told him but he loves me like a brother (ouch) but we're still good friends so it's ok, i just need to get over it.

tl;dr: i hate most of my exes and i really suck at this love thing

wow sorry that was so long

Her computer had a fatal crash and she couldn't get it fixed for a while.

Oh I thought you meant like, disappeared from life all together. Moved off somewhere or something

Oh no, we've been doing the long distance thing until I get enough cheddar to move out and pick her up.

Bacon, bacon, bacon, my lovely bacon

I'm sad to hear such things happened to you.

Be careful with who you let into your life! It may be time to try focusing on your own life and not think about relationships for a while. My suggestion.

Bacon my babby, I'm so sorry you had to go through so much. And I think what Yani says is true, make sure you really get to know someone before you let them get that close to you so you know they won't pull this dumb shit. I hope everything works out for you in the future, man. Send me a PM or message me on Steam if you need to talk.

I had a buddy once who drove all the way to South Carlonia from MA just to pick up a girl to bring back. She dumped him in a week.

i'd prefer if it he just knew not to rape me in the first place. he was a nice guy up until the point.

but whatever. it happened. i can't change that.

Wow I leave for a few days and this thread started to boom!


So I met a girl through my cousin, who was hot, kinky and seemed like tons of fun. We played games online and she was talking about moving in with my cousin at the end of the year (WOOT) So one day when we are playing left 4 dead 2 she says she wants to call me via skype or tiny chat or something. So I bring my cousin home after we all get done playing L4D2 and as shes leaving my cousin says, "Hey, hurry home, shes waiting for you topless on cam. (Mind you this is after 3 months of playful flirting and slightly awkward conversations about her fun lady parts) So I rush home like its about to be Dark Time in silent hill the movie. Sure enough I get there and some of the most amazing things happened in that chat, despite me being somewhat shy. Anyway She is topless with some of the most amazing tits I have ever seen, EVER... We talk she asks to see me, I freaked out because it was the first time I ever did anything like that for a girl, I think I was 19-20 something like that. After this chat she asks me to go down for Christmas, TO SOUTH CAROLINA. So I do it months later. I get down there and things are awesome we hang out get food, flirt and after the first night we have sex and then I make us dinner, I know I am a gentlemen. Here brother shoots me a looks the rest of the night. So then they throw a party with Navy Seals, (HER BROTHER WAS A SEAL) So we get really drunk and have a good time, and her brother makes me drink with the seals, I just had turned 21 and was like "alright I got this" So they blindfolds out and we all drink. Skipping ahead we get to bed that night drunk. She asks me to do things I have never done before and had a fear of doing. We do this and then she asks if she can go home with me that maybe she'll move in with me. (this is over a month of spending time with them in SC) So we drive all the way back to my apartment, where we spend the next two months. Over the course of these months she manages to clean out my bank accounts telling me she will pay me back, telling me how much she loves me and certain parts of my anatomy and then goes home and proceeds to break up with me and tells me she will pay me back that she is so sorry, I havent seen a dime of what she said she would pay me.
BALLS

Yike Ritz I am really sorry that stuff happened to you :-/