AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Up next are Vegetable Stew and Biscuits.

I've been waiting this whole time for you to cook some miniature donkeys oh god I'm so sorry

I would totally try to make some of these if I had cheddar, a kitchen, and could cook

They're really simple to do so far. So as long as you follow directions, you should be able to make the stuff just fine. Some of the recipes are a little more expensive than others, but most of these will be under $10 to give you enough food for dinner or lunch for a week. (So far the only recipe to be more than $10 gives you enough for like, 25 meals)

And the only reason I can think of for you not to have a kitchen is that you either live in a car, abandoned factory with no break room, or a dorm.

Bingo

Hello, AZ. I'm Riku, but my spirit name is Rainbow Moonchild. Welcome your dear spirits to my tiny-ass kitchen.


Today, dear little flowers, we'll be making some Vegetable Stew with what have become known as the Goddess Biscuits. The soup is entirely vegan (thus the hippie nonsense), and Sloth called me a goddess because of the biscuit recipe I made up, hence the name. I should clarify, for you European forumites, that I'm talking about the American version of biscuits here. Where they're kind of like a cross between a cookie and a dinner roll.
This soup is souper good for you, because it's got a boatload of vitamins and minerals (only if you put all the stuff in it, though), and the potatoes make it pretty filling. And I made up the biscuit recipe after being unable to find a family recipe that wasn't way too floury and that didn't have nine pounds of gag-nasty shortening in it (you're welcome.)


SHOPPING TIPS: Carrots, celery, onion and potatoes are pretty much all fairly inexpensive, but I would recommend looking for mushrooms, and possibly the red potatoes to go on sale before making this. But even at that, it'll only knock about a dollar off of the final price, so it's not absolutely crucial.
=== If you are worried about milk going bad before you're going to use it, you can freeze it. It'll be just as good after you thaw it. (note that this does not necessarily apply to milk products, such as cheese and yoghurt)

ESTIMATED COST PER BATCH: $6 USD (soup) + $1.25 (biscuits)

ESTIMATED COST PER SERVING: $1 per bowl + $0.08 per biscuit

All costs are estimated with the idea that you look for specials, with the realistic consideration that not everything will be on sale all the time. Try to not just plan your shopping around your cooking plan, but have a few ideas, and select your cooking plan based off of what you see shopping (still bring a list, though. Just keep in mind that you can opt out of some things and get them later)



INGREDIENTS:


STEW:

6-12 Red Potatoes (depending on size and how much you like potatoes)
1/2 lb Crimini Mushrooms
4 Large Carrots
4 Medium Stalks Celery
1 Large Yellow Onion
3 Cloves Garlic
At least 1 quart of Vegetable Broth
Salt and Pepper
Basil (optional)
Rosemary (optional)






BISCUITS:

3-1/2 Cups AP Flour (plus a little more for working with dough)
1/4 Cup White Sugar
1/2 Tbs Baking Powder
1 Tbs Baking Soda

1 Cup Milk
1 Stick (4 oz) Softened Butter
1 Tbs Lemon Juice






RECOMMENDED EQUIPMENT:
Crock Pot (I think it's about 4 qt) OR Large Soup Pot
Large Stirring Spoon
Chef's Knife
Cutting Board
Mixing Bowl
Measuring Utensils
Baking Sheet






VEGETABLE STEW:

Alright, so first you need to decide whether you're cooking it on a stovetop or in a crockpot. If you're cooking it on a stovetop, then that means that you need to be within sight of the kitchen at all times, for the entire 5-8 hours that your soup will be cooking. If you use a crockpot, you can just turn that thing on and leave it there for anywhere between 8 hours and 2 days.





Now that you're committed to your equipment, scrub and cut up your potatoes into large chunks. Make sure you cut all the little nubblies out of the potatoes, or else they can make you sick.




Drop those babies in the pot.





Chop the onion into rough chunks and break apart the layers before dropping it into the pot.





Take your 3 cloves of garlic



Slice them, and add them to the stew.





Wipe your mushrooms down (no, that is not a euphemism), and if they're any bigger than a small bite, cut them in halves or quarters. Some won't need to be cut.






Chop your celery into small, but not super thin slices.




Slice the carrots similarly and have the vegetables join the same fate as the others in the pit of despair.





Now is when you pour your broth in (bear in mind the vegetables will cook down a bit). You want it to come right about to the top of the vegetables, although if you have room for it, you can add more if you want.





Put the lid on, and if it's a crockpot, turn it to low. If it's on a stovetop, run low-medium. Stir every hour or so (less important in a crockpot). About halfway through the cooking, add your herbs and seasoning if you want. I've found that it's unnecessary, although a little bit of basil and rosemary is nice if you've substituted beef broth instead of vegetable.





When it's done, it'll look a little like this:






BISCUITS:

MEANWHILE while the soup is cooking, toward the end of the many-hour interval, you may want to get away from the TV for a few moments to make up your biscuits. Preheat your oven to about 325 (I'm not sure how accurate my oven is, what with it being older than my maternal grandmother, so you may find that an adjustment of numbers is in order for your production)

Mix dry ingredients (if you stop at this point, you'll also have homemade bisquick)






Then mix in your milk, butter and eggs.




Stir until it looks like this



At this point, you'll add the lemon juice. The lemon juice reacts with the baking soda to make the biscuits fluffy when you bake them, but you need to wait until after the milk is already integrated into the dough, otherwise it will curdle from the acid. Stir it until the dough continues to look exactly like it did before.



Flour your hands so that you can pick up the dough.





Pull a chunk of dough that's about the size of a head of garlic or a large apricot (bigger than a golf ball, smaller than a tennis ball),




and toss it between your hands until it forms a nicely floured little ball that you can stick on your baking sheet.




Bake them for about 20 minutes or until they're all golden brown and crunchy on the outside




They should be crunchy enough on the outside to "crack" open and be all soft and fluffy on the inside.





At this point, you may slather yet more butter on your biscits, or jam, or honey if you're in the mood for sweets, and enjoy them with your delicious vegetable stew.

There a substitute for the carrots that'd give the similar nutrients? I'm extremely picky about my carrots, they gotta be firm and crunchy for me to eat them. Or can I just add in the carrots after the stew is done?

Maybe try steaming them first. If you just add them raw it'll be like "whoa" against the rest of the soup. If you do decide to add them raw, cut them smaller

Also, Crisp brought up that they don't like mushrooms. For other people who don't like mushrooms, chopped turnips are a nutritionally comparable option.

Alright. The roster for the next 4 weeks has been set.

Broccoli with Cheese Sauce and Mashed Sweet Potatoes: COMING UP TOMORROW
Spinach and Ricotta on Penne with Tomato Sauce: NOVEMBER 8
Breakfast Loaf: NOVEMBER 15
Chilli and Cornbread: NOVEMBER 22

Purple text is law.

The hell is breakfast loaf?

It's a kind of casserole that bakes into a loaf because of the eggs and flour stuff.

but I want the cornbread now

mine always ends up too grainy

Grainy cornbread is the worst. How do you make it not grainy, Riku?

Well I don't know. I'd have to know what you're doing to know how to correct it. Are you mixing regular flour in with your cornmeal?

either get a finely ground corn meal (and mare sure to use heavy cream or half and half for better cohesion) or have a corn meal/flour mix. Usually the corn meal will be about a 2:1 or 3:1 ratio with the flour.