AWKWARD ZOMBIE

This except Taru and Stran waaaghhh ;A;

I started writing a lengthy post about everything that happened today and yesterday but I no longer feel like it.
In short, today I realized I hate architecture and I just can't keep up with it so I'm going to quit.
I called my father and we talked a lot and he understands me and he didn't judge me. It makes me realize I'm a terrible son for both my parents and I have been unfair with my father for quite some time now. I just hope I get my shit together soon and stop being a disappointment for everybody who knows me.

Put into further shittier moods by a play that just gave me bad feels due to how it was emotionally a downer. Also, I think my face is now defaulted to looking sad... blugh... go away depression, don't wanna deal...

I fucked up how old my cousin turns today and now shes rustled.

(I said 17 instead of 19)

My ban hurt. What hurts worse is that now I have the stigma associated with assholes who do illegal things. I wasn't even posting links, but apparently that's what everyone thinks I did. No doubt what I did do was fucking stupid, but it never feels good having facts twisted. I know reputation on a forum means shit, but I can't stand when people I know and used to be friends with turn cold towards me. I dunno, I might just leave so I don't end up like joerachi: scorned and shunned.

(For the record I know why joe was shunned; I didn't do anything like that but it most likely triggers the same effect.)

Dude, I'm pretty sure 90% of the people here have at least once pirated something. No one fucking cares, you just made a mistake which we won't even remember in a month.

Well I know, but it feels like the proletariats are beating me up on it. Especially when Great Handsome Oppressor saie I was banned for linking illegal downloads(which I didn't). I would have told anyone who asked why I was banned, and I'm sure some people can put two and two together with the new rules post. It just seemed like it was pointed out to finger me as a target even though the warning has already been put up

Though I'm just paranoid and have bad self image so I am more than likely overblowing things

The secret is to pretend it never happened, whatever it was. I'll make a point of it to not care. It's okay, dude.

So this morning as I was getting ready for school my mom was taking out the trash in my front yard, and got startled by a skunk.
She ended up running and tripping and breaking her wrist, came inside SCREAMING and waking up my dad so we could get to the hospital as soon as possible.

Thankfully we got in asap but its bloody terrifying seeing how much pain she was in, and I've been penting up a large amount of sobbing I'm probably going to do later.

I really dont want to be at school right now, I just want to go into a hole and cry for my mommy.

It's always terrifying to see your parents freak out. That's probably the main reason I started sobbing after I almost got into an accident, because my mom was screaming

Oh, I was wondering when I'd switch back to being a terrible person.

One day I will learn to walk away from people when things are over, but apparently that day hasn't come to pass in the past four months.
Ugh.

So, my surgery date was set and I'm scared out of my fucking mind. Have any of y'all ever had surgery before? What did going under anesthesia feel like? Like I'm really scared about that because they are going to be operating on the Nasal polyps on my face.

You think to yourself, I wonder how long I can stay...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....ow my face is sore.

You'll also wake up feeling cold like you fell asleep without a blanket, especially if you're male. Sunlight feels awesome.

I was put to sleep for the only surgery I remember (I think I had one for my shoulder blade but that was when I was really young). The only thing I can equate to not being put to sleep is going to the dentist when they put that numbing agent on your gums so you don't feel them pulling your tooth. It wasn't painful at all, it was actually surprising when they pulled it and showed me that it was already out.

When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I was out under. The nurse put an iv in my arm, which feels basically like a shot, and they gave me a mask over my nose and mouth. I remember being awake for a while, but then I just dropped off. I didn't even feel myself getting sleepy; next thing I knew I was waking up on a bed in a little office/recovery area.

You'll probably be pretty groggy when you wake up, like I was, but you shouldn't have anything to worry about for the going to sleep part.