AWKWARD ZOMBIE

tom cruise related:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J9KRZ0PnAs

"Boy, these blintzes are good!" said Tom judiciously.
" I'm an ordained minister," said Tom reverently.
" ," said Tom blankly.
" ..., and you lose a few," said Tom winsomely.
"I've struck oil," Tom said, crudely.
"A thousand thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.
"Add this list of n numbers and divide the sum by n," said Tom meanly.
"As soon as the rain stops, we'll break camp," said Tom intently.
"Boy, that sure took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
"Boy, will I give YOU a haircut!" said Tom barbarously.
"Buy me something to drink?" said Tom dryly.
"Get away from the dynamite," Tom said explosively.
"Give me some more macaroni and cheese, and I'll tell you," said Tom craftily.
"I'd love some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
"I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
"I collect fairy tales," said Tom grimly.
"I commanded a group of ships for a week," Tom said fleetingly.
"As my sole heir, you get it all," said Tom willfully.
"I forgot what to buy," Tom said listlessly.
"I hate pies with crumb bases," said Tom crustily.
"I joined the Lion's Club," said Tom pride fully.
"I just returned from Japan," Tom said disoriented.
"I know all the wherefores," said Tom wisely.
"I MUST patch this coat." Tom said raggedly.
"I need a home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly.
"I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.
"I only get Newsweek," said Tom timelessly.
"I punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.
"I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
"I think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly.
"I want to date around," said Tom unsteadily.
"I was adopted," said Tom transparently.
"I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
"I won the daily double," Tom cried hoarsely.
"I don't like hot dogs," Tom said frankly.
"I'll pay off that customs official," said Tom dutifully.
"I'll try and dig it up for you," Tom said gravely.
"I'm back from my lobotomy," said Tom absentmindedly.
"I'm knitting a sweater for my guppy," said Tom wolfishly.
"I've lost my trousers," Tom said expansively.
"I've made a study of girls," said Tom lassitudinously.
"It's the maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.
"Keep an eye on that orbit," Tom said watchfully.
"Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.
"Let's visit tombs," said Tom cryptically.
"Look at those newborn kittens," said Tom bodaciously.
"Mush!" Tom said huskily.
"My pencil is dull," said Tom pointlessly.
"My stereo is broken," said Tom disconsolately.
"My stereo's half-fixed," said Tom monotonously.
"My stereo is working great now," said Tom ecstatically.

oops i laughed

yes tom swifties are the best

oh god dei

you suck ;_;

more atrocious puns

"I've had my left and right ventricles removed," Tom said half-heartedly.
"We've taken over the government," Tom cooed.
"Dawn came too soon," Tom mourned.
"My hair's been cut off," Tom said distressfully.
"Company should be here in about an hour," Tom guessed.
"Where did you get this meat?" Tom asked hoarsely.
"You dropped a switch," Tom needled.
"Blow on the fire so it doesn't go out," Tom bellowed.
"I supposed there's room for one more," Tom admitted.
"That's no purebred," Tom muttered.
"I couldn't believe we lost the election by two votes," Tom recounted.
"I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.
"Measure twice before you cut," Tom remarked.
"Thanks for shredding the cheese," Tom said gratefully.
"Please put some folds in these trousers," Tom pleaded.
"I've located the dog star," Tom said seriously.
"You look like a goat," Tom kidded.
"I used to own that gold mine," Tom exclaimed.
"Another plate of steamers all around!", Tom clamored.
"I memorized the whole thing," Tom wrote.
"That's the last time I'll pet a lion," Tom said offhandedly.
"No thanks to that Frenchmen," said Tom mercilessly.
"You're not a real magician at all," said Tom, disillusioned.
"I've never had a car accident," said Tom recklessly.
"It's made the grass wet," said Tom after due consideration.

The best joke in this thread

if wearthielder was a baseball player he'd be weartfielder
if wearthielder had a high defense stat he'd be weartshielder
if wearthielder obeyed traffic laws he'd be weartyielder

that's all i could come up with >n>

If Wearthielder was in construction he'd be a Weartbuilder
If Wearthielder said José he'd be a WearthTilder
If Wearthielder danced he'd do the Weart-thriller

i don't know how wearthielder is pronounced ;~;

Like Vearthielda.

do puns count as bad jokes?


Cause im very pun-ny

If I attempted to draw manga while having a seizure, I'd be Wearthielder

OH.
SHIT.

Dayum son.