AWKWARD ZOMBIE

What's so great about having sex with fourty five year old girls ?
There's fourty of them !

I love that joke. Yet it's old...

Meh, you're right. Five year olds are pretty old. Three year olds are much better.

lost

Oh, Disney world is awesome. Lost 3 year olds everywhere!

It's not Disney World.
It's my attic.

XyR vUv Ay3 1yU1930 1ednn Ay3 edGv?

[spoiler]Ed O3A Ad Ay3 dAy3e nUv3![/spoiler]

What do a thick blanket and a depressed suicide hotline worker have in common?

[spoiler]They're both down comforters[/spoiler]

Why do nerds get confused with royalty?

[spoiler]They both commonly have retainers
[/spoiler]

White water rafters are the most extreme kind of ceiling

ive recently decided to freeze myself to -273ºC

my parents think ill die, but i reckon ill be 0K

Not a joke, but a bad pick up line.


Hey baby~
Do you work at Subway?

Because you're giving me a foot long.







I am so sorry.
Friend said that today at lunch.

Show me your genitals

What does a vegetarian zombie say?
Grrrrrraaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnns.

Have you heard of the guy who played the horses?
His favorite was the Camptown races.

idk if anyone said this one before, I dedicate it to all the pokefags:

If 50 Cent had been stab'd instead of shot, he'd be 75 Cent.

So a priest walks into a bar.
[spoiler]If you read this YOU'RE A FAGGOT[/spoiler]

if tom cruise liked to sleep a lot, he'd be tom snooze
if tom cruise had a drinking problem, he'd be tom booze
if tom cruise had to make a tough decision, he'd be tom choose
if tom cruise was made of goo, he'd be tom ooze
if tom cruise was a cow, he'd be tom moos
if tom cruise walked everywhere, he'd be tom shoes
if tom cruise could play the guitar, he'd be tom blues
if tom cruise got punched in the face, he'd be tom bruise
if tom cruise was a detective, he'd be tom clues
if tom cruise was a suicide bomber, he'd be tom fuse
if tom cruise spilled paint on himself, he'd be tom hues
if tom cruise was a reporter, he'd be tom news
if tom cruise had trouble keeping track of his stuff, he'd be tom lose
if tom cruise was matthew bellamy, he'd be tom muse
if tom cruise was watching TV, he'd be tom views
if tom cruise was a race of filthy obstacles to the glorious aryan race, he'd be tom jews

don't even get me started on tom swifties