AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Looking for porn?

Trying to exclude women when searching for men?

That's sexist as fuck. BI

Goddamnit, get it together Nachalnik.

Put -women in the search bar.

Semi drunk and at a club night with an also drunk guy who I find very attractive. He leans in and tells me that he's going to get me another drink and that he'll be right back, and then playfully bite/kisses me on the neck.

Jesus christ body, you've never reacted to anything that quickly before.

Do you have some kind of seductive pheromones or something?

Nancy's going to have a harem by the end of the year.

Ride him like a bull.
Do it for all of us.

It's not the first time anything's happened between us. But our relationship is fairly odd and I'm not entirely sure how I feel any more about the entire debacle.

All I know is if he bites my neck and his stubble tickles me at the same time, my body goes "WHOA NELLY" and I have to cross my legs for a few minutes.

Teach me your secrets, Nancy

this is a very good idea

I have an overbite, jokes on you.

Okay here is the secret

First you do nothing for a year to give your self confidence a chance to plummet

Then you attend an LGBT event under the pretence of 'wanting to feel like you're a part of the gay community'

Then you will serendipitously meet a guy/girl who you feel very attracted to and become friends with over the course of a few months

Then you will finally get sick of all of the inactivity and make a move on them, thus starting your horrifying unfulfilling love friendship

At this point a lot more people will make their attraction to you apparent and you can do stuff with them to distract yourself from the gnawing pain stemming from the unrequited love you feel throughout most of the day.



But yeah no the real secret is just to feign confidence and aim for friendship before anything else and as long as you involve yourself with a large enough group of people you'll eventually find some that want to put you in the sink.

I shall always treasure your words of wisdom.

My big toenail is coming off, I can pull it to about half-way without feeling anything, but it's still wedged in there.

I really hope it just falls off naturally, but I think I'll have to get pliers and do it the manly way.

Alright, I've got this disgusting pimple-like malformity on my pubes. They'd be pimples, but they're almost completely blind and when I squeeze them, only blood comes out. They're right on the joint between my thigh and my pubic area, and they get uncomfortable when I do just about anything that requires the movement of my legs. I hope they're ingrown hairs, I think I might go to a doctor and see what the hell they are.

I got a pin out the other day and tried puncturing one. There was no pain, but apart from the 'eye' (as horrifying as that sounds) the skin wasn't really budging to a puncture. I didn't really get too far into it before I started remembering you have a really fragile artery there and if you cut it you're dead in like, 30 minutes tops.

So, yeah. Human bodies. #lame

These better not be fucking genital warts. I would not be surprised but they better fucking not be