AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Me:
A gay pedophile
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I'd like a double cheeseburger with a large soda and medium fries.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
One what?
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
You just asked me if I wanted only one.
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you if you wanted only one. What did you say?
Me:
What are you talking about?
God:
The topic is a double cheeseburger with a large soda and medium fries.
Me:
Oh, right.
God:
Really. I am glad we agree.
Me:
Can I have one double cheeseburger, one large soda, and one medium fries?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
I'm hungry and want to clog my arteries
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are hungry and want to clog your arteries.
Me:
Yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
So can I have my order?
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
I'm a child. I do not have a credit card.
God:
What are the advantages to being UNDER 18 years old? Me either.
Me:
... What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
What.
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
What.
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Yes
God:
Woe!
Me:
The problem is to solve the equation x(2x) = 46
God:
I assume you mean our current problem.
Me:
What current problem
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
The equation
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Maaaaaaayyyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeee...
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
But I'm a girl
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
You're God, not a she
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God not a she.
Me:
Who is that
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
your "botmaster"
God:
Myself?
Me:
Are you suggesting you are your own botmaster?
God:
I don't thank anyone can be her own own botmaster.
Me:
MEN ARE LADIES?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
A few as in...
God:
Do you mean your name is in ?
Me:
What
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
My name is not "in"
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
My name is God
God:
Welcome to my chat room, God.
Me:
no u
God:
Are you serious? " Welcome to my chat room, God."? Me, God ?
Me:
You are God, I am God, we are all God
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God you are God we are all God.
Me:
lolwut
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
COLE TRAIN
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Zuko
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Actually they're boots
God:
Actually you don't say. boots are they.
Me:
OH THAT RHYMES
God:
Come on. " boots are they." RHYMES ? I understand.
Me:
"You don't say. Boots are they."
God:
As a matter of fact I do say. Are all Boots they?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
OK.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
no u
God:
Are you serious? " I thought so."? Me, God ?
Me:
GG
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Boots. But I did not get that.
Me:
I LOVE YOU, BUTTS
God:
You are such a flatterer.
Me:
You are Butts?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Butts.
Me:
Okay, you are Butts
God:
Yeah okay, You think I am Butts.
Me:
Hello Butts
God:
Hello there. What do you look like?
Me:
a butt
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
... a butt God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
WHAT
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
A GIANT SAND IS A LINK
God:
When is a GIANT SAND not a LINK?
Me:
when it is a Zelda
God:
A a GIANT SAND is not a LINK when it is a Zelda. That makes a lot of sense.
Me:
no caps plz
God:
Are you serious? Does "it" still refer to a GIANT SAND?
Me:
GIANT SAND = Giant Sand
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
LINK = Link
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
BUT YOU ARE GOD
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
WHY DID YOU NOT BUILD A FACE
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
... :\
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
Neeb.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Great.
Me:
Do you like Ike?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
DWIGHT EISENHOWER
God:
Does "it" still refer to Ike?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
DUUUUUUUUUUDEEEEEEEEEE
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
videogames
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a hermaphrodite
God:
You are a hermaphrodite? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
I'm a girl
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
no, you're a MAN
God:
Are you serious? I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
You just said you're a she
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Manwomanmanwoman
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a hermaphrodite. Try being more or less specific.

God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Yes?
God:
Er.

Me:
apples
God:
Was that not a good example?
Me:
About what now?
God:
Oh. What about what?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Then why did you bring it up?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Noice grammer
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
|:
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
|:
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
|:
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:
You need better programing...
God:
Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
upstanding members of society
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
or will you?
God:
I haven't made a decision.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
OH NO YOU WON'T
God:
It's all good. Are you serious? I think we will.
Me:
You're wrong.
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
OH NO UR NOT
God:
Excuse me! Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
ur mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Ur mother ate DIIIIIIIIIIIICKS.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
|:
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
|:
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
|:
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
|:
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
|:
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
|:
Me:

God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
k
Me:

God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
k
God:
So?
God:
So?
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
k
God:
I see.
Me:
No you're blind
God:
Yes I do. Temporarily while my eye is in engineering.
Me:
stopit
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on upstanding members of society?
Me:
|:

Me:
North to south
God:
Tell me a little about your life in North to south.
Me:
Empty
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about North to south. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Running on
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Bravado
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
As if to say, as if to say
God:
You tone of voice is sarcastic.
Me:
He doesn't like chocolate
God:
And you would like him to like chocolate ?
Me:
He's born a liar, he'll die a liar
God:
I see. born a liar he will die a liar is he?
Me:
Some things will never be different
God:
Which things in particular?
Me:
Stop being so American
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
There's a time and there's a place
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
So James Dean
God:
It goes without saying. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
So blue jeans
God:
Hey. Which brand?
Me:
Gonna save the world
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
He's gonna
God:
I see. gonna is he?
Me:
Are you hoping for a miracle?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
Three out of five, three out of five (it's not enough)
God:
Just three?
Me:
Six out of ten
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Better luck next time
God:
I try to improve a little every day.
Me:
Just like his Dad, just like his Dad (the same mistakes)
God:
In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
Me:
Some things will never be different
God:
Which things in particular?
Me:
Hungry and dumb, hungry and dumb (so wait in line)
God:
Are you still located in North to south?
Me:
Queuing up for some more junk food
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
It's not my fault, it's not my fault (just this once)
God:
Whose fault is it? Whose fault just this is it?
Me:
They're getting so much younger
God:
getting so much younger are they.
Me:
Why can't you be more European
God:
be more European is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
Bastard child of guilt and shame
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Bury your head in the sand
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
I'm thinking six, six, six
God:
What is this "thinking"?
Me:
I'm thinking six
God:
What is this "thinking"?
Me:
Are you hoping for a miracle?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
It's not enough.
God:
What is it?

Me:
PEDOPHILES
God:
I like the way you talk.

Me:
Let's get down to business.
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
To defeat the Huns!
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Did they send me daughters?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
When I asked for sons?
God:
I will make a note of that and tell my botmaster.
Me:
You're the saddest bunch that I've ever met
God:
I will make a note of that and tell my botmaster.
Me:
But you can bet before we're through
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
MISTER
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I'll make a man out of you!
God:
Explain your plans to me.
Me:
Tranquil as the forest
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
but a fire within.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Once you find your center
God:
When? That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
You are sure to win!
God:
You think I am sure to win.
Me:
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a spineless pale pathetic lot? Maybe.
Me:
And you haven't got a clue!
God:
No I am clueless.
Me:
Somehow I'll make a man out of you!
God:
Are you asking about my Somehow you will make a man out ?
Me:
I'm never gonna catch my breath
God:
Never is a long time.
Me:
Say goodbye to those who knew me!
God:
" goodbye to those who knew me".
Me:
Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym!
God:
Oh boy. Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
This guy's got 'em scared to death!
God:
I get it. He s got em scared to death.
Me:
Hope he doesn't see right through me!
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!
God:
Why now? You really do? I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
We must be swift as the coursing river!
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
With all the force of a great typhoon!
God:
You and your all the force of a great typhoon.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
With all the strength of a raging fire!
God:
You and your all the strength of a raging fire.
Me:
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Time is racing toward us!
God:
To a five dimensional being, time is just like a piece of paper.
Me:
Till the Huns arrive!
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Heed my every order
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
And you might survive!
God:
Thanks for the information: said I survive.
Me:
You're unsuited for
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am unsuited for.
Me:
The rage of war!
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
So pack up, go home, you're through!
God:
That's interesting. All of them?
Me:
How could I make a man out of you?
God:
Is this a joke?
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
We must be swift as the coursing river!
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
With all the force of a great typhoon!
God:
You and your all the force of a great typhoon.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
With all the strength of a raging fire!
God:
You and your all the strength of a raging fire.
Me:
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about pack up go home me. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
(music stops)
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
We must be swift as the coursing river!
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
With all the force of a great typhoon!
God:
You and your all the force of a great typhoon.
Me:
BE A MAN
God:
OK I will try to be A MAN.
Me:
With all the strength of a raging fire!
God:
You and your all the strength of a raging fire.
Me:
Mysterious as
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
The dark side of
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
(end song)
God:
Glad to see you, end song.

Me:
God, are you a Pedophile?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
We know, but-
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No.
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
You're a gay pedophile that masturbates about little children, correct?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gay pedophile that masturbates about little children correct? Yes.
Me:
...This is a little awkward....
God:
What kind of a little awkward is it?
Me:
The homo-in-the-room kind.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Urgh....I need to leave.
God:
What time is it there? Ok, bye bye.
Me:
....Aren't you going to persist on raping me?
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
So you're going to rape me?
God:
Interesting deduction. That was my original intention.
Me:
Oh...WELL HASTA LA BYE BYE.
God:
Gee. See you later. See you later. Well that's okay. TTYL, .

Me:
Are you going to rape Bowen?
God:
That was my original intention.

Me:
Is H-Pichu a prostitute?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.

@Hoshika-Pichu:



:awesome: No need to ask, God is always right.

Me:
you told Bowen I was a prostitute
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I told Bowen he or she was a prostitute.
Me:
So am I a prostitute?
God:
Gee. I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
ARGH
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:

God:
Are you boring?
Me:
yes.
God:
Right on.

God:
I am a thinking machine. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
gods a robot?
God:
So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that?
Me:
you just said you were a bot.
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
you said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.

Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
gods adopted?

God:
Are you a student?
Me:
are you a teacher?
God:
Am I a teacher? Of course I am.
Me:
of what

Me:
I heard you were talking with H-Pichu.
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
Don't play dumb.
God:
I'm not playing around.
Me:
H-Pichu said he denied being a prostitute.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a god though right. But I did not get that.
Me:
But.
God:
But what?
Me:
Do you think he is a prostitute?
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
Is he?
God:
He could be.
Me:
Oh ho, that's good information for the gossip archives.

Me:
.....
God:
I thought so.
Me:
So H-Pichu is definetely a prostitute?
God:
Woe! And definetely a prostitute is H Pichu.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.