AWKWARD ZOMBIE

What do you get charged when you pass through the lagoon in the middle of a coral island?

Atoll

There was recently a poll of people in Scotland which was written in their dialect. It asked which part of their body gave the most insight into them. If they clicked the positive option for anything having to do with vision the survey took them to a web page with a picture of the bottom of a shoe made out of a flatfish. Many expressed confusion about this.

Apparently no one ever told them that the "Aye"s are windows to the soal.

Windows to the sole? What are you on aboot?

I produce emotions in liquid form. My friends tell me not to keep them all bottled up.

Have you ever noticed how cartoon characters enjoy being excited? It's like they're drawn to be animated.

That was art'ly a good pun

I've got a friend that works in a kitchen supply store, and he knows how much I like going for strolls. When I asked him if I could have anything from his store for free he said I should take a wok.

Last time I go to the carnival. Rode the flume. Now I feel sick. Shouldn't have eaten so soon after, but there was salmon hella coming out of the water and they just looked so tasty.

A professor told his students that studying outside the classroom was unproductive. Then one day he got sick of being inside and allowed the class to leave the building for class. They had a field day with that one.

Some of my best puns are in the Comic Ideas thread. They're usually the ones right after the clever and insightful ideas. Balance is key.

I was trying to sell a fishing rod to some dude and he asked me if I was serious about the price. I told him it was the real deal.

A customer got mad at me the other day because I put pickles on his sandwich. I told him to dill with it.

Cool fish are really good at escaping from being caught. They are off the hook.

So a red ship and a blue ship crash into a remote island at the same time

they were both marooned

I got stuck on a remote island once. Never got bored, though, as I could change the channel whenever I wanted.